


Where We Belong

by deni269



Series: The Walking Deth [3]
Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Child Death, F/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-01-25 18:01:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 77,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1657412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deni269/pseuds/deni269
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl and Beth are separated from the others on the way to Washington. They find a place among angels, and confront demons from their past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What Remains

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't been following this story it is set after the fall of Terminus.

Daryl’s back was firm as an old oak and warm as the summer sun. It should have made me feel secure. He smelt of stale sweat, leather and charred tobacco. It should have been familiar. The steady rumble of the bike vibrated through my bones, and thrummed through my chest. It should have been comforting. Even the feel of Mix’s matted fur against the back of my knuckles should have been soothing. But I felt uneasy, lost, and alone.

I had tried not to cry for the sake of Daryl. I had tucked my trembling lip between my teeth and forced my cheeks up in to a smile. I had hid the shaking of my hands by pretending I was scared of slipping, and gripped on to the leather around his waist with all the force I had in my fragile body. I had tried to be strong as he dealt with the loss of Carol, and with what he had to do, and what he had to witness, but as soon as his back was to me, my resolve started to quaver. With my face pressed in to his back I had to let the tears free; running hot and wet and plentiful down my cheeks. I was grateful for his leather vest and layers of flannel that would keep my tears off his skin, and the vibration of the bike would hopefully mask my gentle sobs.

We had been riding along an almost empty road surrounded on both sides by either dense woodland or ghost towns. We had come across the odd abandoned car, and wandering walker who would make feeble lunges towards us, and be flung to the ground by the motion of the bike or by Daryl’s outstretched boot. We had passed through North Carolina according to the sign I had seen some hours ago, and were now somewhere in Virginia according to the sign I had seen most recently, yet the landscape still looked like home. With little sign of human life.

We were about half an hour past the last sign when Daryl started to slow the bike, easing back the throttle and applying the brake with his dirt and blood encrusted hands. As soon as we were slow enough for me to release my grip, I wiped the tears from my eyes with the sleeve of my sweater and tried to practice a few smiles so I could be prepared for when he stopped the bike and turned to face me.

When he had stopped he put his boots flat to the ground on either side of the bike to steady it and then tugged down on his bandana, revealing a line of dirt across his face when he turned towards me. He rubbed across his face smearing the dirt along his cheeks and rubbed at his eyes with his thumb and forefinger to remove the grit that had made its way in during the ride.

“Need some mothafuckin’ shades.” He grumbled.

When he was done cleaning his eyes he cupped his hands together and blew into them as if they were cold. The air _was_ quite cold out here. It was colder than it had been back at South Carolina, or at home in Georgia. I had been too pre-occupied to notice, and even now I felt numb to it all.

Daryl glanced back at me with his blue eyes flicking back and forth as they studied my face. I tucked my lip in under my teeth once more while he watched me, and hoped he couldn’t tell I had been crying.

“Why are we stoppin’ in the middle of nowhere?” I asked releasing my lip and forcing a cheerful tone into my voice.

His left eye squinted a little in response to my question, as if he could see through the false tone.

“I don’t think they came this way.” He tore his eyes away from mine and glanced back to the open road.

“What makes you say that?”

“I been thinkin’ it for a while now. At the speed I’m goin’ I would’ve caught ‘em by now.”

“Maybe they did go back to Terminus.”

“They wouldn’t have gone back. Abraham wouldn’t’ve let them. Gettin’ Eugene to DC was more important to him than anythin’ else.”

“Which way would they have gone then?”

Daryl looked forward down the long stretch of road and then turned in his seat and looked back.

“Can’t say. Wish I had a studied them maps more, don’t know my way ‘round these parts. Maybe they went back to the eighty five at the first turn off, or maybe they went north.”

I chewed on the side of my lip, a little anxious about being separated from the others again.

“What should we do?”

Daryl blew a long breathe through puckered lips as he thought it over. “I guess we keep goin. We know where they’re headin’.”

Daryl looked back to me and started examining my face again. I lowered my eyes hoping he couldn’t read my thoughts.

“Are you okay?”

I scoffed and shrugged and forced a smile.

“Yeah I’m okay, just need a bathroom break I think.”

I swung my leg out and stepped off the bike, and gave my numb backside a few smacks to wake it up.

“Okay, I’ll come keep watch.” Daryl kicked out the stand and went to swing his own leg back over the bike. I put my hand on top of his thigh to still him.

“No, it’s okay, I’d prefer if you didn’t. Some things a girl has to keep private you know.”

Daryl cocked an eyebrow and his lips skewed into a sideways grin.

“You know I saw everythin’ those first few days we were out after the prison, don’t ya?”

I shrugged. “I know, but you don’t have to now. I’ll take Mix with me.”

At the sound of his name Mix started whimpering and wagging his tail, and trying to lick me over Daryl’s shoulder. He was probably ready for a bathroom break himself after sitting on the bike for so long.

Daryl gave Mix a rub on the scruff of his neck, and then Mix jumped off the bike to stand at my side.

“Just don’t go too far.” Daryl said while eyeing me up and down. He reached into the saddle bag and pulled out his patterned poncho.

“Throw this on. It’s colder than a polar bear’s tits out ‘ere.” He bunched it up around the collar and then went to loop it over my head and I flinched involuntarily at his movement. He frowned at me and then proceeded to tug it down and arrange it over my shoulders.

“You sure you’re okay?” He asked with one eyebrow cocked.

I nodded my head and pressed my lips together trying to hold back a sob, and hoped it looked something like a smile. Daryl nodded his head slowly with doubt in his eyes and then turned around, and reached into the pocket of his flannel shirt.

While he pulled out a cigarette and tried to light it I dashed off into the tree growth with Mix at my side. Mix was still limping a little after he was hit by Anton. I couldn’t tell if he had landed wrong and injured his leg, or if Anton had caused some kind of cranial damage that was making him unsteady on his feet. As soon as we got to Washington I would have to use some of the veterinary skills I had picked up helping daddy, and try to examine him.

I walked until I was out of ear shot of Daryl and then ducked behind a large oak tree. I dropped my bag off my shoulder and leaned against the rough bark and let my body slide down with the bark catching and snapping against the poncho. I wrapped my arms around my knees and then tucked my chin to my chest and started sobbing.

I needed some chest rattling, shoulder heaving, body shaking sobs. In this world we lived in, bad things happen, and you’re not supposed to get upset. But I _was_ upset. I felt humiliated and violated and weak. All I had wanted to do since Daryl had dragged Anton off me was curl up into a ball and cry, but I tried to stay strong because I didn’t want Daryl to see me this way. The last thing I needed was for him to see the damage that was done. I knew he would blame himself, just like he did for everything else. I couldn’t have him blaming himself for what happened. I wasn’t strong enough to make him feel better. I couldn’t even do that for myself.

Mix was sitting by my side watching me with his one good eye and what looked like a doggy frown on my face. He was the perfect companion. He would just sit with you while you cried and not ask you to explain yourself, not ask for anything in return for his presence. He would just be with you.

“You’re a good boy.” I said between sobs and scratched him behind his ear.

Mix whimpered in response and then gave my hand a lick. Then his scraggily ear shot in to the air like he could hear something.

I rubbed my eyes and then reached into my boot, prying my fingers between the woollen sock and the leather lining and pulling out my switch blade. I suspected it was walkers, but Mix didn’t growl like he normally did. He just stood silent staring into nothingness with his ears pricked and twitching every few seconds. Then, without an obvious reason, he darted off away from me, suddenly free of his limp.

“Mixy?” I called after him.

He didn’t even turn towards my call. I grabbed my bag and propelled myself off the oak and stumbled forward over the roots and leaves to chase him. I ran after him for several yards watching carefully where he kicked up the dirt, before deciding to turn back before I got lost. I raced back towards the road and slammed into Daryl’s chest as I rounded the oak I had been resting against before.

“Whoa why’re you runnin’?” Daryl pushed me behind him with one hand then pulled an arrow from his quiver and raised his bow, ready to shoot whatever he thought I was running from.

“Mix ran off.” I choked the words out while catching my breath.

Daryl’s eyebrows raised. He was as surprised as I was.

“Not like ‘im to run off for no good reason.”

“You think maybe he picked up on the scent of the others?”

“Mmm, maybe. Or maybe Timmy’s stuck down a well.”

I turned back to where Mix had disappeared. “Can we follow Mix on the bike?”

Daryl looked up into the darkening sky, and I followed his eyes. It was past dusk now and it would be dangerous riding in the dark. If we drove head on into a herd of walkers, not even the speed and motion of the bike could save us.

“We can have a look until it gets dark. Then we better make camp ourselves.” Daryl started backing towards the bike.

I glanced back over my shoulder to where I last saw Mix and then turned back to follow Daryl.

Daryl rode the bike slowly and carefully through the woodland, trying to avoid thick tree roots, ditches on the earth and low hanging branches. We couldn’t follow Mix’s path directly as he had cut through bushes several times, but it wasn’t hard to find his trail. He had left behind a trademark pattern of tossed leaves and mud. We followed the trail until the trees cleared and we came to the back of a weathered timber home on a small property.

Daryl rode the bike around the side of the property and down a rough gravel driveway until we came to another road. He stopped the bike there and put his feet back to the ground, and started pushing along slowly against the asphalt while examining the road. His head was moving slowly back and forth and a frown was pasted on his face.

“What’s wrong?” I called over the sound of the motor.

“Lost the trail.”

He looked both ways down the street, and then lifted his hand to point into the distance. I followed the direction of his finger to see that we were at the base of softly sloping hill. Higher up on the hill was a cluster of buildings that looked to be a small town.

“You think Rick and the others are there?” I called.

“Guess we’ll find out.” He applied the throttle and lifted his boots, and we made our way towards the town.

When the buildings started to clutter together more closely, he stopped the bike again and turned off the engine. He asked me to get off so he could roll it, being wary of the attention he was attracting from the odd walker we had passed. I obeyed and dismounted the bike and followed along beside him while he scanned the buildings. He came to a sideway with a few overgrown bushes obscuring the view and he rolled the bike into a bush to hide it.

He handed me the crossbow and then took his backpack out from the saddlebag and swung it onto his back. Then he grabbed the rifle and the bow and swung them over his shoulder too.

When he was all packed up and ready to go he examined my face again.

“Don’t worry. We’ll find him.” He attempted to reassure me.

I was worried about Mix, but that wasn’t the emotion Daryl could see in my eyes. He put his hand to my shoulder and I flinched again at the touch. He frowned a little and then dipped his head so he could look in my eyes.

“Beth, you gotta keep your head, we don’t know what’s gonna be roamin’ these streets.”

I nodded and forced a smile.

We went through some of the houses that lined the street scavenging for food or anything else we could use. Daryl collected empty cans and kitchen utensils, things that he could use to make an alarm. At the back of one home, Daryl cut a piece of plastic coated cord from the clothes line and rummaged through a pile of scrap metal out near the shed. I filled our water bottles from the well pump and then splashed some of the cold water on my face and wished for a long hot shower. Then I searched through the overgrown vegetable patch at the back of the garden to see if there was anything that hadn’t been eaten by the pests. There were a few cabbages and carrots so I put my crossbow down and started digging them up, shaking of the dirt and forcing them into my bag along with everything else we had found. I examined some of the new shoots that were starting to grow, and I smiled as I thought about how the vegetable garden was still continuing to grow and live on even after it had lost all maintenance and management, and I wondered if it would be the same for human kind too.

I was busy lost in my thoughts about the world that had fallen into anarchy, and I didn’t smell the decay or hear the snarling until it was right by my ear. I dove to the ground and rolled into the cabbages as the walker lunged towards me. My bow was too far out of reach, and I had forgotten to load it after Daryl handed it to me so I reached into my boot for my knife, while the walkers gnashing jaws fell towards me.

I was about to swing out at the walkers rotting face when a string of clothesline was looped around the walkers neck and it was yanked back forcefully to the ground. Daryl stepped over it and smashed his boot down into its face until its skull gave way and it was finally still. Then he gave it a few more angry stomps that did little but splatter blood and gore over my face.

I scrambled to my feet and wiped the muck off my face while Daryl glared at me angrily.

“Jeez Greene, I told ya to keep your head.” He growled.

I just stared at him blankly, not knowing how to respond. His face softened as he looked over me.

“Jus’ be careful okay.” He turned away from me and stalked back to his junk pile.

In all the houses we had come across that day we had only found a handful of weak and wandering walkers. We figured they had been there for a long time. By the look of the place it had been evacuated in the early days of the outbreak. There was no sign anyone had been through here recently, not even Rick and the others.

“We best get back to the bike.” Daryl said as we made our way back to the main road.

“But we’re only a few minutes out of town. That’s probably were Mix went, and it might be where the others are.”

“Yeah, an’ prob’ly more dead too.” He looked me over from head to toe. “We’ll go in tomorrow after you’ve rested some.”

We made our way back to where we had left the bike earlier and Daryl looked for a house that was somewhat secure, and then we took all of our stuff inside ready to spend the night there. Daryl rigged up the alarm and checked the boards that were nailed to the window and added more nails where necessary. I built a fire in the fire place and went looking for a pot and can opener so I could make some dinner. I checked the stove in the kitchen to find that no gas was connected and I wished we had chosen one of the houses that had a gas tank out back. I ended up taking the pot to the living room to heat it up over the fire. Daryl went into one of the bedrooms and dragged a mattress out and dumped it onto the floor beside the fire, and I found myself cringing at the thought of sharing the mattress with him. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t want to be near him, because I did, but I was scared he would touch me in an intimate way, and the thought turned my stomach.

Daryl dropped heavily down to the mattress sending dust motes swirling into the air. He sat with his crossed legs hanging off the edge of the mattress and watched me as I picked at the pot of beans. When I couldn’t force myself to eat any more I handed him the pot and the fork I had been using and he took them gratefully and started shovelling beans into his mouth without taking a second to breathe.

The sight of it would normally have made me laugh, but I just watched him carefully while he slurped and slopped and rubbed his dirty arm across his sauce covered lips. When he was done he pushed the pot to the side, then stared at me with his interrogatory blue eyes.

“I’m gonna ask you one more time, and I don’t want you lyin’ to me… Are you okay?”

I stared at him for a moment trying to think of the right answer. Anything _but_ a lie was going to turn him into a self-abusive jackass.

“What do you want me to say?”

“The truth.” He shifted towards me and I found myself scooting backward across the floor. His eyes narrowed at my movement and then he let out a long sigh. “I know you been cryin’ since we left the motel. I _don’t_ know why you been tryna hide it from me.”

We both sat in silence for a few moments while I pouted and studied the fire dancing in the fire place.

“I’m not okay.” I finally admitted.

I glanced back at Daryl to see he was watching me intently with his fingers dancing anxiously from his hands resting against knees.

“What can I do?”

“I don’t know.” I replied with a shrug.

“Maybe if you…tell me what you’re feelin’?”

What I was feeling? As I focused on all the mixed up emotions that were brewing inside, my resolve began to crumble and tears bubble to the surface.

“I feel like shit.” I let out a sob and I could feel tears spilling from my eyes and dripping from my nose all at once. I snuffled and then wiped at my face with my sweater. “I feel weak and powerless.” I added with another sniff.

I could almost hear the cogs turning over in his brain as he thought of something to say to me. “I know.” Was his response.

I scoffed. “You wouldn’t know what it’s like to have someone overpower you. To have someone make you feel like you’re nothin’. You’re the strongest person I know.”

Daryl was silent for a few moments before muttering. “I _do_ know.”

I was about to argue with him before my mind was able to fight through the haze of my own misery and recall the scars all over his body and the deep scars on his back. I had seen them several times over the past few weeks, but he had only discussed them briefly while we were staying at the house in the pecan grove. His daddy had beat him, and beat him bad judging by the marks that were left behind. He said it didn’t hurt anymore, but he obviously still remembered the way it hurt back then.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have...”

“Yeah you should. It’s my fault.” He stared into the fire and started clenching and unclenching his hands. “I shoulda killed Anton, I shoulda dealt with Carol, I shoulda…”

“Don’t!” I shrieked suddenly. The sound was a shock to me and Daryl jumped at the sudden urgency in my voice.

“Don’t what?” He mumbled when he had recovered some.

“Don’t start blaming yourself! You go somewhere dark when you blame yourself.” I let out a few sobs. “I can’t do it! I can’t look after you right now!”

Daryl studied me with wide eyes while I sobbed and sniffed and rubbed at my face with my sleeves.

“I don’t want you to look after me, Beth.” He shuffled towards me and this time I didn’t flinch away. “I just wish I coulda looked after _you_.”

“Well you couldn’t do anythin’…. It’s done… there’s no goin’ back.”

I continued to sob and Daryl continued to watch me, hovering beside me like he was ready to pounce.

“You need to tell me what I can do _now_ , Beth.” His voice was gruff and strained.

I didn’t know what to tell him. I didn’t know _what_ he could do, or _if_ he could do anything. So I just kept sobbing.

He reached his hands towards me and then pulled them back and ran them through his long hair. “Fuck I can’t even hold you.”

“Why not?” I let out a sniffle while I studied his rough and dirty hands tangled though his hair. He let them slide through and then pressed them down into the mattress.

“‘Cause…you know.”

I did know. He had barely touched me since he had seen Anton...there. He had held me for the briefest of moments after Carol had been killed, and since then he had only touched me when it was necessary. I was damaged goods to him. More damaged than I had been when Len had tried to… or when Anton had tried the first time. He would never want to be intimate with me again, and it scared me because I didn’t think that was such a bad thing.

“You don’t _want_ to touch me now?” I mumbled.

Daryl scoffed and then reached out and grabbed me firmly by the upper arms.

“No, that’s not it, just every time I’ve…and last time…you kinda freaked on me.”

“That was different.” I sobbed and thought back to when Daryl had crawled on top of me and held me down. He had scared me then because it made me feel powerless, and it made me realise how easily Daryl _could_ hurt me if he wanted to. But I knew Daryl never would hurt me. He had taken care of me for weeks, and even before that he had taken care of all of us. I knew I was safe with him, and I knew I could trust him. I probably hadn’t been giving him the best signals by drawing away every time he touched me, but it was a reflex I would need to learn to control.

“I _need_ you to hold me Daryl.”

He pulled me into his chest with a force that expelled all the air from my lungs and wrapped both of his arms around me tightly, and I sobbed into his shoulder while he rocked me back and forth.

“Maybe I can run you another bath tomorrow.” He whispered into my ear when my sobs had started to settle.

My lips curled into a true smile when he said that, thinking of the bath he had run for me back at the pecan grove, after Len had tried to…

“I don’t think a bath will help this time.” I wish it was as simple as last time. I wish Daryl could just run hot water and soap all over me and it would take the pain away. But no amount of cleaning was going to rid the stains that had been left on me this time.

“I ain’t no Dr Phil, and I don’t know no pretty words to make you feel better.” He stroked along my back and shoulders soothingly. “But if you wanna talk, I’ll listen. If you wanna cry, there’s a spot ‘ere with your name on it.” He nodded towards the shoulder I was resting on. “If you want me to hold you, I won’t let you go ‘til you say so.”

“Those are the prettiest words I’ve ever heard.” I mumbled into his shoulder.

He chuckled lightly. “I still ain’t no Dr Phil.”

I let myself relax into his comforting warmth, inhaling his soothingly familiar smell, feeling the strength in the arms and shoulders and chest that I was hard up against. If Daryl kept holding me like he said he would, I knew I would get better.

“I love you.”

I caught my breath after I had said it, wary of what Daryl’s reaction would be. I had known the way I felt for a while, but I had never told Daryl directly.

He didn’t say anything at first. His body tensed up and he held his breath, and I felt a sense of rejection twist through me.

Daryl leaned away from me and started wriggling his hips up and down while he pushed his hand down into the back pocket of his jeans.

A fold of paper emerged griped between his middle and index finger. He pulled on it until it sprung free and then he held it out for me. I took the piece of crumpled and torn paper and spread it out in my hand to see it was the silly, childish note I had written back at Terminus; The one with all the love hearts and ‘Beth Anne Dixon’ written on it.

“You kept it?” I covered my face in embarrassment. I had been worried someone else had found that note when it first went missing. I thought it may have been Carol who snuck into our room and found it, and wondered if it had set her off. Knowing that Daryl had been carrying it around, most likely thinking how immature I was, it made me cringe. Was he going to tease me now about saying I love him?

“Turn it over.” He spun his finger around in the air.

I turned it over to see writing in a hand that wasn’t my own. It read _‘I love you too.’_

My hand trembled as I read it over and over again. It would have to be either the cutest or most romantic thing he had ever done. Daryl was not the type to come right out and tell you he loved you, but I think him putting it in writing and carrying it around in his back pocket meant more than spoken words ever could.

I threw my arms around his neck and buried my face into his chest and dwelled in the warmth and strength of the man that loved me.

* * *

 

Daryl’s body jerking violently beside me and then clamouring to its feet was what startled me awake. I shot up and watched him as he grabbed for the rifle and went for the doorway. I knew now what it was that had brought him to his feet so quickly. I could hear the tin cans from his alarm rattling outside the door. Before passing through the doorway he turned to me and pointed a commanding finger at me.

“You stay there.” He demanded protectively.

I reached for the crossbow and put my foot in the stirrup and strained to pull the string back to the latch. I only got it about half way then I had to roll on my back and push my foot in to the air to finish the job.

I heard a familiar bark and excited panting and I quickly rolled to my feet, knowing who was at the door.

With the crossbow in my hand I raced to the front door to see Daryl sitting on the floorboards with Mix jumping all over him and licking his face.

“Mixy!” I cried, dropping the bow, falling to my knee and opening my arms out for him. He bounded straight into my arms, knocking me onto my backside, and started licking my face.

“Where you been boy?” Daryl said as he got back on his feet and then walked towards Mix and I and started scratching Mix behind the ear.

Mix responded by barking, spinning in a circle and then padding back to the front door and poking his nose outside. I looked up to Daryl and noticed for the first time the dark circles under his eyes and his generally haggard appearance and I wondered if he had slept at all last night.

“Think he wants us to follow?” I asked.

Daryl nodded at me and then went back into the living area to grab his bow and the bags.

We followed Mix down the worn timber stairs and out the rusted chain link gate. Then Mix started bounding down the empty street kicking up mud in his wake. He stopped around fifty yards away, turned to us and waited for us to catch up.

“I’m gon’ get the bike.” Daryl raced to the next house over and ducked down the sideway to where he had hidden the bike. I watched Mix as he paced back and forth impatiently in the road. I heard the bike start up and Daryl slid out around the corner. He stopped beside me and I put the crossbow on my shoulder and climbed on the back.

We followed Mix, riding as slow as we could on the bike, as he raced down the street heading into town. We passed by a line of stores, a gas station a bowling alley and a diner and headed towards a parking lot that fronted onto a three level building that sprawled in both directions down the street. The building backed on to a tree covered hill and looking down from our position I could see the small properties Daryl and I had come across yesterday. The woodland that ran behind the school was joined to the woodland that was behind the properties, and it was obvious that this is where Mix had been heading that whole time.

At the end of the parking lot was a high iron bared and brick pillared fence that surrounded the main building. When we were close enough I could make out the words on the sign that was attached to one of the large brick pillars at the gate to the building. It read _‘Green Mount Centre for Applied Technology.’_ with _‘Parans Futura’_ written below.

“Some kinda fancy science lab?” Daryl asked while looking over the futuristic looking building, built with cantilevers, curved brick and an overabundance of glass.

The windows were covered in faded drawing and paintings, and over to the side of the building I could spot play equipment.

“I think it’s some kind of school.”

Mix had been waiting at the gate, but as we got closer he dove down into a small pre-dug hole that went under the gate, and he ran up the stairs and disappeared inside the school.

Daryl stopped the bike several yards back from the huge wrought iron posted gate that barred us entry and we both eyed over the half dozen walkers that had been pressing themselves against the sections of iron fence that ran between brick pillars. They had turned as the bike got closer and were now stumbling towards us.

Daryl shut the bike off where it stood. He pulled out his bow and shot five of the walkers down. I shot the last with the crossbow and then I dismounted the bike so Daryl could wheel it towards the gate.

As I followed slowly behind Daryl, I heard the familiar snarls and growls growing louder behind me. I turned to see another five walkers idling towards us who must have followed us through the town. I put the crossbow to the ground to reload it and started tugging at the string while grunting and straining. Daryl saw me struggle with it so he kicked out the stand, dismounted, strode over to me and took the crossbow off me. He finished the job of loading it and fired it into the nearest walker. He reloaded and fired three more times before handing me back the empty crossbow then he unsheathed his knife to finish the last walker with a blow to the ear.

I pouted a little when he turned around to face me, feeling like I had a toy confiscated off me for not using it properly.

“They were getting close.” He reasoned.

He went around and collected the arrows, rubbing them down with his red rag, and handed me five to put into my quiver and then went back to the bike that was waiting by the gate.

The gate had a drop rod in the ground, and a thick plastic coated chain wrapped around it, but it wasn’t locked, so Daryl unbolted it, unwrapped it and opened the gate so I could enter and Daryl followed with the bike. Once he had set the bike up he went back to the gate and wrapped the chain loosely back around it and slid the drop rod into the ground.

I stood back and examined the fortress type fence that surrounded the school. Each section of fence was about five yards wide, and attached to a thick column of red brick that looked as though it would take a herd of a hundred or more walkers to push over. It also had razor wire wrapped around the lower sections of the fence that was rusted and stained with what I assumed to be blood. The razor wire looked as if it had been a secondary addition for added security, but it was already a very secure fence. I turned back to the building and noted the lower floor windows were covered with iron bars too.

“Why does a school need so much security?” I asked no one in particular.

Daryl looked up at the gate and then to the school taking in the bars on the windows.

“There’s alotta valuable shit in a school. Especially one like this. Computers, television sets, cameras. And there’s a heap of shit in the science rooms you can sell or use to cook with.”

“Cook what?” I didn’t think he was talking about cupcakes.

“Meth, Coke, pills choose your poison.”

I frowned as I realised just what kind of poison they were.

“How do you know all this?”

Daryl stepped away from the gate and looked at me with a guilty expression on his face.

“I weren’t no saint. An’ you know it.”

I pulled my eyes away from his serious glare and tried not to think too much on what he was trying to tell me.

I looked toward the overgrown courtyard and the large concrete steps that led up to big glass paned doors. The panes were knocked out of the bottom panels and were now covered by timber boards, but one hung loosely and I could see Mix sitting on the linoleum floor behind it. As I approached, Mix dashed down the corridor and out of sight.

“You think the others are inside?” I asked turning to Daryl. They may have seen how secure it was and thought to spend the night here.

Daryl frowned and looked around at the courtyard and at the car park outside the gate.

“I ain’t seen the minivans, but maybe they hid ‘em.”

Daryl jogged up the steps, put his arm through the opening in the door, reached upwards and unlocked the door. Then he pushed it open and held it so I could pass through.

The dust motes danced and twirled though the entry foyer to the school, illuminated by the upper two levels of glass windows. The lower level had been boarded up with panels of wood nailed together to create one continuous barrier. There were chairs and tables pushed up against doors and the floor was covered in books, files and worn and faded paper. The air smelt a little of mildew but was relatively pleasant and without a hint of walker decay.

We walked down the entry foyer and under a flight of stairs until we came to a T junction. Along the wall was a huge cabinet full of trophies and plaques and photographs of older men and women. Running down the length of the hall were more photographs of groups of people standing in regimental lines who varied in age from kindergarteners to those who looked more my own age. They all smiled out towards me, frozen in a permanent state of happiness and oblivious to what their future held.

Mix came darting out from one of the smaller corridors and barked and then turned back around beckoning for us to follow. Daryl nocked an arrow on his bow string with ease and I strained to load the crossbow while he mockingly flexed his bicep and nodded towards it.

I followed Daryl as he cautiously made his way down the corridor stopping at every classroom we passed and peering inside the glass pane in the door. They were all empty save for chairs and tables and cabinets lined with books. At the end of the corridor were big double doors with ‘ _Gymnasium’_ painted overhead, and _‘God forgive us’_ painted in spray paint on the doors. Mix had his nose to the floor and was pawing at the bottom of the door with his tail wagging though the air.

We stepped forward cautiously, and I wondered if Mix was leading us towards friend or foe.

“Do you think they committed suicide in there?” I asked glancing over to Daryl.

“I don’t think he would lead us to a bunch of dead people, but…” Daryl pointed to the door handles that had two brooms crossed through them like an ancient coat of arms. “Someone tried to keep something in there…or something out.”

Walking up to the doors I could hear a low and light sound that was merging in with Mix’s soft whimpers.

“Doggy, doggy.” Came a tiny, angelic voice.

I looked to the clearance space between the door and the floor and saw that Mix was licking at the the tiny, pale fingers of a child’s hand.


	2. Trail of tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The story is that when American soldiers were moving Indians off their land on the Trail of Tears, the Cherokee mothers were grieving and crying so much 'cause they were losing their little ones along the way from exposure and disease and starvation. A lot of them just disappeared. So the elders, they said a prayer; asked for a sign to uplift the mothers' spirits, give them strength and hope." ~Daryl Dixon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad stuff ahead. Check additional tags.

“It’s a child.”

Beth dropped to her knees on the floor beside Mix and stared at the gap under the door. I could see it too, tiny little fingers not much bigger than lil’ ass kickers. Then I heard another voice that was Harder and grainier than the first, but still sounded young.

“It’s a stranger.”

I could just make out a small blue eyed face through all the dirt and dust in the door’s narrow window pane. As soon as our eyes connected the face disappeared and I could hear faint squeals from behind the door.

I pushed Beth’s shoulder and she scooted off to the side so I could pull out the two brooms that were crossed through the door handles, barricading the door. I swung both the doors open to a two level high gym that was flooded with light, streaming in from high windows that ran around the top level of the room. The gym looked like a tornado ravaged town, filled with dozens of cot beds and curtain screens, plastic tubs, crates, suitcases, medical equipment, spotlights and other bits and pieces, all scattered about chaotically. It was also filled with the god awful smell of rot and decay. I walked into the room carefully wondering where the kids we had seen had gone and where the smell of death was coming from.

Mix bounded over to a line of beds that were piled up against a wall like a makeshift fort made with sheets and blankets. Mix was sniffing and pawing at the sheets and I could make out the form of at least three lumpy bodies under the cloth.

“You can come out, we’re not gonna hurt you.” Beth urged.

The only response was a harsh shushing. Beth stepped towards me and put a hand on top of my hand that had an arrow nocked and ready to fly. I didn’t even realise I had raised the bow, it was a natural instinct. I lowered the bow and eased on the string, and hoped that it was only living kids we were dealing with.

“This is Daryl, and my name’s Beth.” Beth continued to ease her way forward towards the bed fort.

Mix had decided he had enough of playing hide and seek and he grabbed one of the sheets in his jaws and started pulling back on it.

“No doggy, no.” Came a soft bell like voice.

“Shut up, Marie.” Whispered the same grainy voice I had heard before.

Then a scruffy looking brown haired, blue eyed kid popped out from under the sheet. He was younger than Carl, probably about ten years old, but he was so skinny it was hard to say for sure. He was holding a small knife in one hand, and pulling on the sheet Mix was tugging on with the other. The kid’s skinny twig arms gave way and Mix tore off the sheet to reveal another two children, filthy, thin and terrified.

“Looks like its Timmy, Tommy and Sarah-May down in that well.” I commented turning to a shocked looking Beth.

Beth gasped and put her hand to her mouth, then she fell to her knees and stared below the bed that the children had been hiding on top of. I stooped down to see what she was looking at and found another three children, pale, dirty and trembling in fear.

Then like ants from a pissed on hill, kids started coming out from all over the place.

“Shit.” I hissed under my breath. I couldn’t think of any other smart ass remark.

The kids all huddled around the kid with the knife, glaring at Beth and I through wary eyes, shaded by dark sockets.

Beth’s trembling hand reached around my wrist and gripped on to it firmly for support. “Where are your parents, kids?” She called out to them.

The boy holding the knife was the one to reply.

“They’re all dead.”

* * *

 

The children didn’t want to move from their place by the bed until Beth held out a can of sweetened creamed rice that I had been looking forward to eating myself. They all looked to the blue eyed boy waiting for his approval.

The boy examined the can with wide eyes and his lips smacked together with anticipation. He looked over Beth and I cautiously and then slowly lowered his blade. The boy nodded to the children and they crawled out towards Beth. She started opening the can and they squawked for it like chicks to a mother bird. Beth dropped her bag and pulled out another can of food and opened that one too, and offered both the cans to the kids. The oldest boy snatched it off her and they all pawed at the contents greedily, coughing and choking and spluttering as they scooped the food with their dirty fingers and pushed it into their mouths.

One of the children hadn’t moved from her spot under the bed. She was wrapped up tight in a blanket and she stared up at me through sunken eye sockets.

I walked over to the bed, knelt in front of her and took out my bottle of water and held it to her lips. She sipped from it weakly and then coughed it back up into the bottle and all over my hands. I looked at her translucent white skin that hung loosely from her body and I could tell the kid was days, if not hours, away from death.

Beth was now spoon feeding the kids one at a time as they pulled at her clothing like street beggars.

“Get some to the girl too.” I pointed to the weak looking girl under the bed.

Beth pushed her way through the gaggle of children and over to the girl with an open can of food. The other kids stayed behind fighting over what she had left.

Watching the starved kids fight over the food was all too much for me. I backed away from them and started pacing around the room trying to figure out where the smell of death was coming from. The gym had several exits. There were large double doors that led outside that were locked up tight. Another single door was to a store room that was filled with balls, and nets and rackets. And two doors that led into change rooms. I went into the boy’s change room and went straight for the bathrooms to check the water supply. I turned the hot water tap and it came out freezing, but after a while it started getting warmer. I turned it off and wondered where it came from and if the kids knew to boil it before drinking it, or if they even had a way to boil it. I checked through the change rooms and opened up any unlocked lockers to find nothing much of use but clothing and towels. I smiled to myself at the sight of the tiled area with a row of showers, and hoped I would get at least one before we had to leave. The toilets smelt pretty awful, but that wasn’t where the dead smell was coming from, so I went back in to the gym to find it.

As I approached the furthest corner of the gym the stench got stronger, and I knew what I had been looking for was wrapped up in a small bundle of sheets that had been left there. The bundle would only have been around twice the size of lil ass kicker and my guts went tight imagining what was underneath. I stopped a few yards away from it and covered my mouth trying to stop myself from chucking, and thinking what the hell I was going to do with it.

“That’s my brother.” The voice startled me and I swung around to see the boy with the blue eyes was standing behind me pointing at the bundle.

“He died after the adults went, I couldn’t get him to eat…he just cried all the time.”

I coughed and tried to maintain some self-control.

“The adults?...Were there other adults here? Other than you’re parents?”

The boy looked up at me with his big blue eyes and nodded.

I stared back at the kid, wondering what kind of fucked up monsters had left them behind, and if they would have been better off with them or without them. I reached towards the kids shoulder in an effort to comfort him, but he ducked away from me and stepped back.

The kid had every right to be wary of me. It seems like adults hadn’t really proven themselves to be too reliable.

“Where did they go, kid?”

“They went with the army people. They were going into the big city. The capital. There was supposed to be a safe place there.”

“Why the fuck did they leave you?” I asked myself more than the kid.

The kid shrugged. “Said they couldn’t take too many people. Could only take those that could do jobs. Our moms and dads had all died. They couldn’t do any jobs so…” The kid trailed off and started pouting sadly.

“That’s…messed up.” I muttered.

“Yeah it’s fucked.”

I raised an eyebrow at his response.

“Your momma let you talk like that?”

“My momma’s dead. If she weren’t dead, I wouldn’t need to talk like that.” The kid folded his arms and glared angrily down on the bundle of sheets.

“We should bury him, you know?”

The kid nodded.

“What was his name?”

“James, we called him Jamie.”

“And what’s your name kid?”

“I’m Austin.”

“Austin, you know if there’s a shed or somethin’ ‘round ‘ere, somewhere you might find a shovel?”

Austin nodded and turned back towards the door that led to the main corridor of the school.

I swung my Airborne onto my shoulder, took a deep breath, and then scooped up the bundle. I tried to keep my back to Beth as I followed Austin out of the door. The last thing I wanted was for her to spot it and realise what it was. She didn’t need that after all the shit she had been through.

_Don’t blame yourself._

I was halfway through the doorway when she called out to me.

“What you got there?”

I didn’t answer. There was no way to put it gently, so I just stopped and looked at her over my shoulder. She studied my face glanced at the sheet that was tucked under my arm and then turned quickly back to the gaggle of children that were cluttered around her. I could tell by the look on her face that she knew what I had in my arms.

I followed the boy down another corridor and then into a room that was filled with circular tables and plastic chairs, that looked to be the school’s cafeteria. The kid tried the handle on the door that led to a courtyard outside, but it didn’t budge, so we made our way back out the front of the school. The boy stopped once he was outside and took in a deep breath and smiled up at the clouds as if it was the first time they had met.

He led me around the side of the building and towards a sheet metal shed. The door was open and was creaking and grinding as it swayed in the wind. I kicked it open with my boot and was confronted with a flurry of feathers and beaks and squawks and clucks, as a dozen chickens came flying out into my face. The chickens raced of down the side of the building and out of sight.

Inside the shed was a rack of various gardening tools, a few trolleys, a work bench, a ride on mower and a shit load of eggs. I put the bundle under my arm and took a shovel down from a hook on the wall. I eyed over what the shed had to offer. The thing that stood out most was a ring of keys that were hanging off a nail on the wall. I assumed they were the groundskeeper’s keys, and I assumed there would be a master key that would unlock all the doors in the school.

“We have a spot to bury them.” The kid said, looking over the shovel in my hand. He walked off towards the back of the school and to the far corner of the iron and brick fence. There was a line of graves against the fence line, all with painted crosses dug into the ground at their heads.

“Is your mom and dad here?” I asked

“Just my mom, my dad never made it back.”

“Point ‘er out. I’ll put ‘im nearby.”

The kid nodded and pointed to one of the graves that had ‘Lucy’ written on the cross.

I put the bundle down and started to dig up the dirt next to the grave. Austin sat down beside me and crossed his arms over his bent knees and watched me work with empty eyes.

“I had to do it you know.” He nodded towards his little brother. “When he turned in to one of those…things.”

I thought about how hard it had been for me to kill my own brother, and he was an asshole, not an innocent child. This kid would have to be tough as nails to come out of that without being screwed up..

“How long where you all here?” I asked him.

“We came here a few weeks after people started getting sick. The army people told us to pack up our stuff and meet here, so we did.”

“Was it some kinda evacuation centre?”

Austin nodded. “I think so. This school was too expensive for me to go to, I went to the one on the other side of town, but I know they used a lot of computers and fancy stuff at this school. My mom said its motto was ‘Prepare for the future’, and I guess they did.”

Austin pointed up to the roof of the school. It was covered in solar panels and a dozen or so of what looked like weather veins with a propeller attached.

“They made their own energy here. They collected rain water and it has its own deep well. We were supposed to be able to stay here for a long time, but…”

He trailed off and looked back to the grass sadly. I looked around at the grounds of the school. In the centre of the buildings, in the courtyard that was by the cafeteria, there looked to be a vegetable garden that was overgrown and inhabited by a few dozen chickens. Over by the section of fence that opened onto a field track were two cows chewing on the overgrown grass.

“Looks like you guys had it made here…I don’t know why they even left.” I wiped away the sweat that was beginning to form on my brow from the exertion of digging.

Austin shrugged his shoulder.

“Must’ve been somethin’ pretty good in the city.” I added.

Austin glared up at me angrily.

“I wouldn’t fucking know would I?”

I stopped digging and looked at him.

“How old are you kid?”

“I’m eleven.” He spat out angrily “No…twelve…now.”

Twelve year old with an attitude, reminded me of someone I once knew.

“You don’t gotta be so angry kid, I’m just talkin' to ya.”

“I’m not angry…I’m hard! You think I took care of everyone by myself without being hard?”

That kid I once knew would have responded the same way, but for different reasons.

I pressed my lips together, understanding how Austin felt, and went back to digging while he pouted and held back tears.

When the hole was big enough I placed the bundle of sheets inside and pushed the dirt back on to it with the shovel. Austin got to his feet and pushed over the last bit of dirt with his hands and then rubbed at his eyes, leaving smears of dirt mixed in with the tears on his cheeks. I stood behind him for a few moments while he glared at all the graves and then followed him when he stood up and stormed back towards the school.

“How long were you kids on your own for?” I asked while I trudged through the wet grass behind him.

Austin shrugged his shoulders.

“They left sometime in the fall.”

That was at least three months ago. I wondered how long they had gone without food for. There had been a shitload of empty cans in the gymnasium, but it barely looked like enough to feed them all for even a month. Austin must have gone through hell trying to keep them all alive.

I reached out and grabbed the kid’s small, bony shoulder and spun him around to face me. I stooped down so I could look him in the eyes.

“You’re not gonna be on your own no more.”

* * *

 

When I had made it back to the gym, Beth was sitting on the floor looking like a school teacher with a circle of children around her. She looked up at me sadly when I approached her and then studied my arms like I was missing something.

“Is it done?” She asked.

I nodded my head, knowing for sure that she had seen what I was holding.

Beth frowned and looked back to the children.

“You know those showers work.” I hoped that would bring a smile to her face.

She did smile, but it was only for a second. She stood up and collected her bag and walked towards me.

“I’m gonna take one now, haven’t washed since…” Her throat bobbed as she swallowed and I thought she was going to cry, but she blinked back the tears and smiled at me. “The motel.”

_Don’t blame yourself._

I nodded in agreement.

“Can you watch the kids?” She asked

“They don’t need watchin’ they’ve been takin’ care of themselves for months.”

“I know but… just...watch ‘em…okay.”

I knew she was trying to tell me to leave her alone, so I agreed.

* * *

 

While Beth took a shower, I wound open some of the windows to let some fresh air in and then headed out to explore the school with the groundskeepers keys in my hand.

The bottom floor of the school was mainly classrooms for the elementary and middle school students judging by the small tables and chairs, artwork and posters on the walls. There were a few other rooms you would see in most schools like an art room, workshop, home skills room and a music room that I knew Beth would love. The library spanned two levels and had nearly as many computers as it did books.

The second level looked to be used by the older students. It included a faculty lounge joined on to faculty offices. There was a science lab up there that would have had Merle creaming his pants, and a media room stocked with computers, video recorders and cameras that made my fingers itch with memories of my past.

The third level was just a huge plant room filled with machinery that seemed to be connected to the turbines and panels that were on the roof. There was also a generator up there but it was completely dry.

When I was satisfied that I had checked out the whole school and there were no dead to be found. I went back to the gym. The kids were lying on the floor playing with their toys and reading books, but Beth wasn’t around.

“Where’s Beth?” I asked them.

“She’s still in the shower. She’s gonna use up all our water.” Replied one of the older girls.

I must have been looking through the school for a couple of hours, maybe more. There was no way she was still washing herself. I walked over to the change room door, pushed it open and entered.

I listened out for the sound of running water, but there was nothing but silence.

“Beth?” I called towards the shower room and listened for a reply, but all I heard was the echo of my voice.

I stepped through the door and closed it behind me. I walked through the change room and towards the shower area scanning the whole room for Beth, but she was nowhere to be seen.

I peered over the low wall that separated the shower stalls and the locker area to see Beth was sitting in the corner of the shower stall with her face pressed into her knees and her arms wrapped around her legs. She was naked, dripping wet and in a puddle of water.

“Fuck Beth, You’re gonna make yerself sick, sittin’ there like that.”

I grabbed a couple of towels that were hanging on a row of hooks by the nearby locker. I gave them a shake and then brought them over to Beth, wrapping one around her shoulders and draping the other over her bare legs. She looked up at me with dull eyes that were swollen and red from crying and she smiled at me weakly.

_Don’t blame yourself._

I sighed and then dropped myself down beside her, recoiling from the cold water that seeped through my jeans.

“The floors wet.” She mumbled.

“I don’t care.” I wrapped one arm around her shoulders and put my other hand on her knee and started rubbing the towels against her trying to dry her off.

“You still thinkin ‘bout what happened to you?”

Beth shook her head gently.

“No, I’m thinking about that little one you just buried. And those little ones out there who were almost starved to death, and Chloe, I don’t even know if she will make it”

I figured Chloe was the sickly looking one that had been wrapped in the blankets under the bed. I didn’t think she was going to make it either.

Beth sniffled a little and gave her nose a rub. “Can you imagine if Rick died? We would never leave Carl or Judith.”

“No. Never.” I agreed.

“I don’t know if this world can be brought back from what it is now. Adults abandoning kids. People killing innocent, harmless people. People _eating_ people, people…raping people.”

I squeezed my eyes shut as her last few words hit me right in the guts. I drew in a breath and held it, trying to keep my cool.

_Don’t blame yourself._

“Seems like there’s so little good left in this world.” Beth continued.

“The worlds more fucked than a two dollar hooker at Fulton’s.” Sometimes smart ass remarks were the only way to express what you were feeling.

Beth’s eyes glared up at me under her furrowed brows.

“Daryl, you can’t talk like that with all these kids around.”

Well fuck, I certainly wasn’t used to censoring the shit that came out of my mouth, and the kids couldn’t hear it, but I guess I would have to start making an effort.

“More…messed up…than a shithouse…in a tornado?”

She shook her head and sighed with a hint of a smile playing at her lips. “Better.”

“A poophouse in a tornado?”

She threw her forehead back to her knees and her shoulders started shaking. I wondered if she was cold, or if I had upset her, but then I heard the sound of soft laughter.

“Poophouse?” She repeated turning her head and looking at me, her eyes bright and playful.

“Yep and if you don’t get your ass off this cold wet floor, _you’ll_ be in the poophouse.”

* * *

 

Once Beth was dressed and back out with the kids I told her about the music room I had found.

Her blue eyes lit up like sunshine on backyard swimming pool and she wanted to check it out straight away. A few curious and eagre looking kids tagged along after her. When she was out of sight I took out my last cigarette, placed it between my lips and flicked at my lighter.

“Don’t you dare smoke that in here with all these kids.” Beth snapped at me from the doorway of the gym.

I grumbled to myself and then headed towards the double doors that led outside. I used the master key to unlock them and flung them both open to an area of grass with a swing set and climbing equipment surrounded by weeds that climbed up the supporting posts.

I sat down on the step to the gym and lit the cigarette and took a long, well-earned drag.

A couple of the kids crept up beside me and watched me with eyes as wide as saucers. I turned my head and blew the smoke away from them.

“What?”

The kids looked over at the play equipment and then back at me.

“Can we go play Mister…”

“Daryl.”

“Mr Daryl?”

I guess Mr Daryl didn’t make me sound quite as old as Mr Dixon so I let it slide.

“What’re you askin’ me for? Do what you want.”

The two children cautiously stepped past me and another three followed them edging their way carefully around me as if I was a wild bear. The children initially ambled around the play equipment looking as if they were too weak to play, or as if they had forgotten how to. After a few moments of frowning and pouting and turning their heads, they began to climb over it smiling, then laughing and then squealing in delight.

“Just keep it down kids, don’t want to call no attention.”

So much for letting them do what they want.

“And don’t get too close to that there fence. That razor wire’ll cut y’all to bity bits.”

One of the boys dug up a handful of mud and tried wiping it on a girl’s sweater.

“Eww.” She wailed.

“And play nice... Be careful its wet…Don’t climb that high…Don’t throw that shit…Don’t lick that.”

I threw my arms into the air.

“Ah fuck it!”

I sucked on my cigarette til it was nothing but filter, stomped it into the ground, and went looking for Beth.

* * *

 

We had a fairly satisfying dinner of eggs, carrots and cabbages that night, which Beth had cooked up in the kitchen by the cafeteria. The kids devoured it like it was candy and looked to Beth like she was some kind of goddess for cooking it up for us all. Both Beth and I tried to get Chloe to have something to eat, but all she did was chew on a bit of cabbage until it was green sludge and then spit it out. I figured it was a start, and we would have to try her on something more tomorrow.

The kids convinced Beth to read them a bedtime story, by the light of the small lamp they had plugged into the wall. According to the kids they could use small amounts of power, but anything big would need the generator. I would have to go searching for more gas to get that thing running and see what we could do with it.

The book they brought to her was ‘ _Where the wild things are._ ’ And I remembered it as being one of the books my mom read to me when I was a kid. In fact I think it was the _only_ book she read to me. I found myself hanging on to every word that Beth spoke in her soft and soothing voice, and thinking how lucky the kids were to have someone like her to take care of them.

When she was done she tucked all the kids into their beds and said goodnight to them all individually getting them to remind her of their names as she passed. I couldn’t remember half the names and figured it would come in time. For now ‘kid’ would have to do.

When she was done a few voices called out “Goodnight Mr Daryl.”

I found myself blushing for some stupid reason.

“G’nite.” I grumbled.

Chloe was still lying on the floor wrapped in her blankets where she had been listening to Beth tell the story. I went over and picked her up and carried her to an empty bed. Mix jumped up on the bed beside her and licked her cheek and she managed a weak smile on her pale lips. I gave Mix a pat on the head. He always seemed to know where he was most needed.

Beth dragged two mattresses off some spare cots and laid them on the floor next to each other, in front of the kid’s beds. She dumped a bundle of blankets down on top of the mattresses then removed her boots, dropped herself down and tucked herself in.

“G’nite.” I called over to her and headed towards the door to the main corridor.

“What’re you doin?” She asked.

I stopped and turned back to her.

“Someone’s gotta keep watch.”

“I think we’re okay, these kids were here for months without anyone disturbin’ them, and you know Mix will tell us if anythin’ is up.”

I glanced over to Mix sitting on Chloe’s bed. He had lifted his head up at the mention of his name and was now watching me intently. What she was saying was the truth, and I was fucking exhausted after the shitty night sleep I had last night. I didn’t need any more convincing. Just the look of the mattress was making my eyes dry, my head pound and my body ache in eagerness. I stumbled over to Beth and collapsed at her side, not even bothering to lift the blankets. Sleep started to take hold before my head had even hit the mattress.

* * *

 

Beth’s cries woke me up for the second time in as many days. She was writhing around under the blankets and throwing her head from side to side. I studied her face and the trail of tears left on her cheeks that were bathed in the moonlight, and knew what she was dreaming of. I had tried to wake her from her dreams last night, but she had just started shrieking and throwing herself around violently. I had found that the best thing to do was to hold her until she was still again. So I wrapped my arm around her and held her trembling body tight against my own.

“No, Carol.” She whimpered into the pillow.

_Don’t blame yourself._

“It’s me, Beth.” I whispered into her ear.

“Anton?” Her chest started heaving as she took in panicky laborious breaths.

_Don’t blame yourself._

“It’s Daryl.”

Her heavy breathing started to slow.

“Daryl?” She whispered.

“Yeah it’s me. You’re okay. You’re safe”

“I love you.” She whimpered, as a single tear slipped from under her closed eyelid and rolled down her cheek to the mattress below.

I wiped away the tear that was rolling along my own cheek with the sleeve of my shirt.

“I love you too, girl.”

Her lips turned into a peaceful smile and then she was silent again.

I sniffed and wiped at my face and then caught two bright eyes peering at me from on top of one of the beds.

“Somethin’ bad happen to her?” Austin whispered.

I cleared my throat trying to shake away any sign I had been crying.

“Yeah.”

“Sometimes bad things happen to good people. That’s what my mom always said.”

I nodded towards Beth. “Yeah, those are her words too.”

Austin studied me for a few moments.

“Are you her daddy?”

I glared up at him and tried to remind myself that he was just a kid.

“No, I ain’t.”

Austin looked back towards Beth with a frown on his face.

“Is she your girlfriend?”

If he wasn’t just a kid I would have told him to mind his own business, but he was, so…

“Yup.”

Austin screwed up his face.

“She kinda looks like a kid.”

I glared at him angrily.

“Just shut the fuck up and go to sleep.” I growled.

Austin chuckled softly and then rolled over pulling the blanket up over his head.

_Fucking smart ass little shit._

I smiled to myself thinking how it was the first time I had heard him laugh, it was worth it even if it was at my expense. I let my head drop back down to the mattress beside Beth’s and tried counting sheep to keep my mind off the shit that had happened to her.

* * *

Beth only woke two more times that night, which was three less than the night before, but I still felt like shit.

Beth had tried to make a breakfast of eggs, but she had cracked one open to find a half grown chick inside and binned the whole lot. It was good news as it meant there was a rooster around somewhere, and I wouldn’t have minded the eggs myself, but it would have grossed the kids out. So we ended up having a canned breakfast.

“I’m gonna have to go out an’ hunt.” I told her as I rummaged through the last of our cans in my back pack. “I’m guessin’ were gonna be here for a few days, until we kind find a way to get these kids outta here.”

Beth pouted thoughtfully and nodded her head. “We’ll need to wait for Chloe to get stronger too.”

I collected my airborne and ran my fingers over the arrows. They had seen better days. I would have to check out the workshop later and see about making more.

Beth studied the bow in my hands. “We could get one of them chickens. There’s plenty out there.” She suggested.

“Nah, save ‘em for later. I need to see what’s gamin’ ‘round these parts anyways.”

Beth frowned at me.

“Okay, just be careful out there. Unknown territory and all.”

“Don’t you worry ‘bout me. There’s nothin’ out in them woods I can’t handle.”

Beth kissed me on the cheek and sent me off on my way. I felt like daddy going to work and leaving the wife and kids at home. The thought was more pleasant than I had expected.

I went out the back gate that opened on to the track field. I crossed the field and walked out into the woods and examined my surroundings. It looked very much like the woods back in Georgia, but it didn’t seem quite so dense, and it was wetter and muddier than it usually was at this time back home.

I could see a few signs that there had been rabbit and squirrel though these parts recently, but I ignored their tracks and delved in deeper hoping to find something more substantial. I had heard there were deer and elk in these parts, and even wild turkey. I had never caught one of those before.

I had been wandering in the bush for about twenty minutes before I came across some familiar tracks. There were several long ditches dragged through the leaves and dirt and I knew a small group of walkers had been through here. It looked as if they had been heading away from the school, and I decided I would just let it be for now.

I found some dropplings not far from the walker tracks, and then some marks in the bark of a nearby tree where antlers had been rubbed. I tracked the deer for a few minutes until I came across a sight I didn’t think I would see outside of Georgia, and I had hoped I would never see again.

There was a small spruce tree directly in front of me with an overgrown vine scrambling up its trunk. It was covered in white flowers. Cherokee roses.

I stopped dead in my tracks and glared at the flowers.

_Don’t blame yourself?_

Fuck that! I had kept it to myself for too fucking long!

I dropped my bow to the ground and stormed over to the tree. I wrapped my hands around the bristly stems and started tearing away at the roses, ripping them to pieces and trampling them on the ground. I didn’t stop until every rose was nothing but leaves and petals at my feet. I stood over them covered in sweat and drawing in heavy breaths.

I still felt like shit. I felt like I just needed to hit something. I felt like I needed to beat something to death. So I went back to the walker tracks thinking they would be softer on the knuckles than a tree.

I found three walkers idling through the woodland a few minutes later. I dumped my backpack and my airborne to the ground, and rolled up my sleeves. This was going to get messy.

* * *

 

I don’t know how long I had been out in the woods for, but I returned just after dusk, and came back to a worried looking Beth standing at the back gate.

She threw her arms around me when I was close enough.

“Where the hell have you been?” 

“Huntin’.” I replied casually.

Beth stepped back and looked me over and I opened my hands to show that I had nothing to show for it.

“What the hell happened to you?”

I looked down at my hands and at my clothes. I was covered in blood and gore. There wasn’t a clean space on me anywhere. I couldn’t even remember exactly what had happened. I blacked out some time after killing the fifth walker with my bare hands.

“It’s not mine.” Was all I could offer.

Beth took a step back from me and folded her arms over her chest. I could see now that her eyes were red and puffy like she had been crying all day.

“What’s wrong?” Something in my gut told me this wasn’t about Anton or Carol.

Beth sniffled, and wiped her nose.

“It’s Chloe.”

My face fell as I anticipated what she was going to say next.

“She’s dead.”


	3. Staying Put

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Beth settle with their little angels...for now.

Chloe looked terrible that morning. She was so white, the only way I could spot her among the sheets was through her straw coloured hair that hung dull and limp from the loose skin on her skull. I had called out her name to wake her, and her fine blonde eyelashes had fluttered a little in response.

I knelt down to the side of her bed and stroked her across her ice cold forehead.

“Chloe you need to try to eat somethin’.” I murmured gently to her.

Her eyes flicked open and looked past me and then closed again. I scooped up a spoonful of tomato soup and held the spoon to her ghost white lips. They parted ever so slightly and I tipped the spoon allowing the soup to drip into her mouth. Her tiny tongue pushed at the soup like a birds would lap up water, and the majority of what I had fed her dripped out of the side of her mouth. After a few spoonfuls she looked like a pale white vampire lying in a coffin with lines of blood running from her mouth. She pressed her lips closed when I tried to offer her more. Feeling defeated I dropped the spoon back into the nearly full can and pulled myself to my feet, resolved I would have to try again later.

When I turned Daryl was standing behind me looking down at Chloe. His eyes, full of fear, tore away from her apathetic body and looked at me. We didn’t say anything we could read each other’s thoughts, and I didn’t want to say them out loud.

Daryl turned his sad face away from me and began rummaging around in his backpack.

“I’m gonna have to go out an’ hunt.” He said while glaring at the contents of the bag. “I’m guessin’ were gonna be here for a few days, until we find a way to get these kids outta here.”

My lips pressed into a pout as I thought of how exactly we were going to do that. We certainly weren’t going to fit them all on the bike, and I hadn’t seen any cars big enough to fit them all in when we rode through the town.

“We’ll need to wait for Chloe to get stronger too.” I suggested, looking down on the girl who had fallen back asleep. Although I didn’t know if she ever would.

Daryl insisted that he go out right there and then to hunt, even though we had plenty of chickens we could butcher. I was a little anxious to be left alone with the kids. I was anxious to be left alone with Chloe. If something happened to her while he was gone, I didn’t think I would have the strength to do what needed to be done. But Daryl looked so eager to get out there. It was probably like stress relief for him, and it had been a stressful few days.

I kissed him and sent him on his way and then turned back to the room full of orphans I had been left with. I looked over them and tried to recite their names in my head. Chloe was easy to remember. I didn’t think I would ever forget her. Austin, with the deep blue eyes and mess of dark hair, was the oldest of the group. He was a serious boy with a bit of an attitude, but he was dedicated to protecting his friends. Marie, with the strawberry blonde hair and face full of freckles, was the oldest girl. She loved to talk and giggle and was like a ray of sunshine, breaking through the clouds of misery that these kids had been living under. Winnie, the one with the bronze coloured skin and ringlets of brown hair, she was the youngest of the group at about three or four years of age. None of the children could tell me her exact age, her older brother didn’t know what month she was born in, and the little girl had never learned to talk. Her brother was one of the Tommys; Tommy C, but I didn’t ask what the C stood for. He had warm brown eyes and skin a few shades darker than his sister’s. He told me he was ten, but Marie had insisted he was only eight. The other Tommy was Tommy J. He had blonde hair and an excess amount of skin that suggested he would have been a plump boy before the outbreak. Nathan was a long and skinny nine year old who kept to himself. Lawson was a mischievous eight year old who liked to pick on the girls for fun. Jovan was the youngest boy at five years old he had pale skin, platinum blonde hair and grey blue eyes. His sister Anna could have been his twin as far as looks went, although she was a couple of years older, Jovan seemed to be the more protective of the two. Lyra was six years old. She had golden curls and Greene eyes that reminded me of Maggies. That was eleven children to remember, and eleven extra seating places we needed to find in a car if we were ever getting them out of here.

My first order of business for the day was to repair the chicken coop, and separate the hens from the rooster so we didn’t get any more nasty surprises when we cracked our eggs. I collected the tools I needed from the workshop and a few of the boys followed me, excited about helping bang stuff together. The little girl, Winnie, tagged along too; I found that she was never far behind me.

When the coop was nailed back together, we attempted the more difficult task of rounding the hens up. This part the boys loved; running and rolling in the mud, darting and dodging from side to side and lunging onto the birds and presenting me with nothing but a handful of feathers. I ended up telling them to forget the hens and just worry about the rooster, and the kids spent another good half hour trying to corner him in the yard.

After we got him locked away, I told the kids to collect twelve eggs for lunch, one for each child and myself, hoping there would be no chicks this time around.

Once successfully cooked, without any chicks, I tried to offer some to Chloe, but she was sleeping soundly and when I shook her she barely gave me a grunt. After a few failed attempts at keeping her awake, I left her to sleep feeling defeated.

I had wanted to check out a classroom today, and see if there was something I could do with the kids. Remind them about their ABCs or their times tables or even just how to hold a pencil, but I couldn’t bear to leave Chloe on her own. So I asked Austin to watch over her while I went to the classrooms and collected what I needed.

The children all sat around me in a circle back in the gym as I made them practice their printing on the lined workbooks I had found. Their hand writing varied from pretty and eloquent, to outright atrocious ─ it was mainly the boys who were atrocious. Even little Winnie made an attempt at writing, drawing circles and squares to represent her letters. After our handwriting lesson I let them draw freestyle and several of them presented me with stick figure images of myself and Daryl.

I took up a workbook and some coloured pencils and knelt by the side of Chloe’s bed wondering if some colouring in might lighten her up a little.

“You want to try to draw some pictures.” I asked her brushing the hair back from her ice cold brow.

I turned my hand and cupped her cheek in my palm. That was ice cold too. I gripped her chin between my thumb and forefinger and turned her face up to me.

“Chloe.”

There was no response from the indigo blue lips. I put my hand to her mouth to see if I could feel any heat or moisture, but there was nothing.

“Chloe!” I called more forcefully feeling my panic rise. The children in the room all stopped what they were doing and watched me as I ripped the blankets and sheets away from Chloe’s limp body.

I watched her chest, looking for a rise and fall, but there was nothing. I put my fingers under her jaw to feel the pulse in her artery. Again nothing.

“Chloe!” I wailed. I scooped up her tiny body in my arms and fell to my knees dragging her of the bed and on to my lap.

I wondered how long she had been lost for, and if CPR would bring her back and what the risk would be putting my mouth to hers.

Mix suddenly lifting his haunches and growling towards me with his hackles raised told me it was not the best idea. I placed Chloe gently on the ground and reached in to my boot for my knife.

I did not want to do this. I didn’t even like doing it to the walkers who I had never met, and who meant nothing to me. Doing it to a child, who I had known, and cared for was going to be near on impossible.

Where the hell was Daryl! He was strong, he did the tough jobs, he would have taken care of it for me. He had been gone for hours now. I had remembered him going on two day hunting trips before at the prison, but surely he would have made his one today short, leaving me in an unknown place with eleven children.

My hand trembled as I pressed on the catch and released the small blade. I held it to her temple and took in a deep breath and closed my eyes.

_Just plunge it in._

I opened an eye and looked at her peaceful face, so angelic and innocent. I took another deep breath.

_Just do it. Send her to where she belongs._

Chloe’s blue lips began to twitch and her eyes began to flicker, and Mix’s growls became more intense as he darted back and forth around us.

_Just do it Beth! Do it now!_

“I’ll do it.” Came a strained, youthful voice from behind me. Austin pushed past me with his knife raised and ready to plummet down into Chloe’s skull.

“No.” I reached out and stilled his hand. “You shouldn’t have to.”

Austin reluctantly lowered his blade and stepped back. Chloe’s pale eyelids flicked open to reveal misty, opaque eyes. I had to be strong, for myself, for Daryl and for the kids. I lifted the blade and slammed it down hard.

* * *

 

Folding that small body tightly up in a sheet was right up there with seeing daddy being killed, being held at knifepoint by Carol, and being attacked by Anton, as one of the hardest things I had ever had to endure in my life. Chloe’s tiny body weighed twice as much as a body that size should weigh, and my arms trembled under the heavy burden. I carried her through the cafeteria and outside, with the children following close beside me. Their solemn faces stared down at their tiny feet as they kicked through the wet grass. Once by the gravesite, Austin and I began digging a hole for her, while the other children sat in the damp grass and watched. None of them cried. They were all stronger than I was. Tears were running from my eyes and dripping from my nose and rolling down my chin. I was a blubbering mess. And when I rolled her tiny body into the ditch and heard it land with a thud my body started heaving and shaking with deep sobs.

I wanted Daryl to come back so badly. I needed him here to comfort me and lend me his strength. I glanced up at the darkening sky and wondered when and if he was coming back to us.

“One’s coming.” I turned my head to Marie who was pointing towards the far side of the track field.

I followed the direction of her finger until my eyes rested on the walker that was stumbling across the overgrown grass towards the school.

As I examined the familiar gait, and clothes and the messy dark hair my breaths started to come quick and shallow and my heart started thudding in my ears.

“No.” I whimpered.

I stumbled over to the gate on legs I couldn’t feel. The children tried to follow me but I demanded they stay where they were, as I fumbled at the latch on the gate.

Once the children were safely secured behind the gate I reached for my blade. It was still flecked with rusty coloured blood from the last time I had to use it on someone I cared about. I glared at the small blade wondering if I could even do it. It was hard enough doing it to Chloe, but to do it to Daryl would be impossible. Maybe I could just throw the blade to the grass and let him have me. Maybe we could stumble around together for all eternity. It would be kind of romantic, but that would mean the kids would be left on their own...Again.

I squeezed my hand around the grip, pushed my eyes shut and said a silent prayer to God to give me strength. When I opened my eyes Daryl was only a few yards away from me, and I could see that God had heard me and given me more than what I asked for.

Daryl was covered from head to toe in blood and flesh and tissue. But there was something about the stumbles, and the way he was gripping the strap across his chest, that told me he was still living. When his intense blue eyes glared at me full of reason and recognition I folded my blade and dashed forward. I threw myself into his chest and listened for the familiar and relieving sound of his steady and strong heartbeat.

“Where the hell have you been?” I cried as I pulled my face away from his blood encrusted vest.

“Huntin’.” He replied coolly

I looked at his empty, blood covered hands. Whatever he had been hunting it didn’t look as if he had brought it home. He was covered in a thick syrup of brown and red sludge. His hair was matted together with twigs and leaves and white flower petals stained with red. And around his ankle was wrapped a string of what looked like intestine.

“What the hell happened to you?” I asked after I had managed to lift my heavy jaw.

His tired looking blue eyes peered at me through the sea of red.

“It ain’t mine.”

A wave of relief rushed over my body, and with it a wave of tears flooded to my eyes. I sniffed and rubbed the tears away with my sleeve.

“What’s wrong?” He asked with the exhaustion in his eyes giving way to fierce intensity.

“It’s Chloe.”

Daryl’s face went slack as if he knew what I was about to say.

“She’s dead.” I choked out.

Daryl stared at me for a few moments like he was trying to absorb what I was telling him. The apple of his throat bobbed as he swallowed.

“Is she…did you…take care of it?”

I nodded in reply, looking down to Daryl’s gut covered boots.

Daryl reached an arm around me and pulled me into his chest and held me there. He stank of dried blood and rotting flesh, but I didn’t care. He was warm and firm and he made me feel safe.

“Shit Beth, I’m sorry I was gone so long. You shouldn’t’ve had to do that.”

“No. Nobody _should_ have to. But I did.”

Daryl wrapped his hand around mine and began pulling me back towards the school and to the haunted looking faces of the children standing behind the iron bars.

The children all glared at Daryl warily as he entered the gate, taking in his walker like appearance.

“I’m okay kids.” He reassured them.

Daryl looked over to the corner of the fence to the burial site and took in the view of the mound of freshly dug earth.

“You bury her?” He asked.

I nodded. “Just now…I need to…cover her.”

“I’ll do it.” Daryl let go of my hand and paced over to the grave scooping up the shovel on his way. He tossed the dirt onto the grave while the children and I watched on.

A tiny cold hand pressed into mine and I looked down to see Winnies large brown eyes staring up at me. I gave her hand a squeeze and she gave me a supportive smile in return. It was supposed to be me taking care of them.

When Daryl was finished covering her, he wiped some of the sweat, dirt and blood from his brow and looked back to me.

“You wanna sing somethin’?” He suggested.

I shook my head and pouted. “No. I don’t feel much like singing.”

Daryl nodded, threw the shovel to the ground and came over to give me a comforting squeeze.

“Sometimes there just ain’t a song for it.” He murmured into my ear.

* * *

 

Daryl took a much needed shower while I got the children in to bed. They didn’t ask for a book that night. They didn’t even ask for any dinner. I said goodnight to each of them, and they pulled the covers up to their ears and pressed their eyes shut.

Daryl emerged wearing a high school sweatsuit that was too short in the legs. The sight of him made me smile. I had never seen him wear anything but flannel, denim and leather. And I had never seen him in something so clean.

“What’re you smilin’ at.” He grumbled.

“Nothin.’ I’ll wash those for you tomorrow.” I pointed down at the pile of bloody clothes he had dropped to the floor in-front of me.

He pulled at the fabric that clung to his skin.

“How I look?”

I smiled and nodded to him and pulled him over to our mattresses. His stumbled over, then his legs buckled at the knees and he fell face forward into the mattress looking completely exhausted. I sat down beside him and pulled the blankets over the both of us.

“What happened to you out there?”

Daryl groaned in response.

“You were gone all day and you didn’t even bring anythin’ back?”

Daryl opened his eyes and looked up at me.

“Why, you hungry?”

“No. Not at all…Just wanted to know what you were doin’ that whole time.”

“I was…just….” His shoulders heaved as he sighed, and he turned his face towards me. “I was angry... ‘cause of everythin’ that’s happened… to you…and to these kids…I took it out on some walkers…but I’m gonna be okay now. We’ll all be okay.”

I smiled at him and then curled up beside him.

“I know.”

* * *

 

We were woken in the morning by Mix barking and pawing at the gym door. Daryl leapt to his feet, strapped on his knife, grabbed hold of his bow and raced to the door. He pointed a finger at me silently telling me to stay put, before disappearing out the door behind Mix. I ignored him and scooped up the crossbow at my side. I scrambled to my feet, strained on the string until it clicked into place and then followed him out the door.

I found him pacing along the front fence of the school in the pouring rain. There were several wet and rotten walkers with arms stretched between the iron bars, and fingers desperately trying to get hold of Daryl. Daryl was stabbing his knife into their skulls with Mix darting about his feet. His waved white fur stuck together in damp clumps, looking a lot like Daryl’s hair.

Daryl caught sight of me mid-swing and stopped what he was doing, glaring at me as water streamed down his face and hung of his chin in droplets.

“Thought I told you to stay put?” He called out.

“You didn’t _tell_ me anythin’.” I pointed out, as I paced through the mud to meet him.

Daryl scoffed, shook his head, and turned around to finish the last walker.

“Them damn kids were too noisy the other day.” He grumbled as he flicked brain matter on to the grass.

“They’re kids Daryl. They’re gonna be noisy.”

Daryl bent down and wiped his blade against the wet grass to remove the last of the blood.

“I think we should get ‘em outta that gym. Nothin’ but ghosts in there.”

He glanced up at me and I nodded in agreement.

“I can clear it out today, and make a play area for ‘em in there. It’ll be quieter, and warmer than outside. Half o’ ‘em were up the night snifflin’ and drivin’ me crazy.” He added.

I couldn’t help but smile at him. He was so cute when he worried about others.

“I’ll have a look around today. Maybe we can move ‘em in to the library or somethin’.” I suggested.

Daryl looked up to the second level windows.

“You should check out the faculty lounge. Looks real cosy up there and there’s a big-ass TV set, maybe we can play some movies for ‘em or somethin’.”

A movie! The thought of watching a movie had _me_ excited.

“That’ll be real nice; a rainy day movie. I never thought it would happen again.”

“Never did happen to me…Just don’t pick no fairy princess shit.”

I smiled to myself as I turned away from him and made my way back up the steps to the school. I would have to check out the library and get the pinkest, girliest, ballerina, horse-riding, fairy princess movie I could find.

* * *

 

After Daryl had helped me move some of the cot beds upstairs to the faculty lounge he got to clearing out the gym with the help of the older boys.

The rest of the children and I tried to make the lounge look like a real children’s bedroom, clearing the shelves for their toys and books and making the beds up nice with the colourful covers they had brought from their homes when they first settled in here. The children picked out some of their favourite drawings that they wanted to go up on the wall and I went searching for some moulding tack to stick them up.

I went to the adjoining hallway first; the one that was connected to all the faculty offices. I figured the staff would have some in their drawers. I went to the end of the hall first and checked out the principal’s office. It had a huge oak desk in the centre of the room that was still covered with papers and documents from when this place had been run as a school, although now they were covered in dust. I checked in the top drawer to find the tack I was looking for and also a curious small key. I looked it over and then slipped it into my pocket hoping I might find whatever that key was used for later on. I went over to the window behind the desk and pulled down the blind slats to look at the grey and dreary day outside.

From this high position I could see the entire town. I could even see over to the road Daryl and I had left to come here, and it also had a good view of the school yard below. I turned away from the window and examined the office. The walls were lined with bookshelves, paintings, photographs and awards. In one corner of the room was a sofa set surrounding a small coffee table. It was a very comfortable looking room; More comfortable than the warden’s office back at the prison. I figured if Daryl and I were going to stay here for a while, we may as well be comfortable.

After I had stuck the kid’s pictures up on the walls, I led the children into the library to look for a video. There was a limited selection to choose from; mainly movies that had been adapted from books, but there were also fairy tale conversions in the form of Disney movies. One of them stood right out for me.

“The little mermaid.” I said excitedly as I pulled it off the shelf.

It had been Maggie’s favourite movie as a kid. She used to watch it over and over again, and drive my mom and dad crazy. When she got too old for it, her love of it transferred to me and I would watch it over and over again and drive my whole family crazy singing the songs from it.

I presented it to Winnie who was standing at my side and she screwed her nose up at me. I guess she wouldn’t even know what this movie was. In fact she had probably never even seen a movie in her whole, short life.

“I love that movie.” Marie squealed excitedly as she snatched it out of my hand.

“Good. Daryl will too.” I smirked to myself devilishly.

* * *

 

After I had got the movie into the player and checked there was enough power to run the TV, I went downstairs to collect the boys and Daryl.

As I walked towards the corridor that led to the gym I could hear a faint shushing sound. I rounded the corner to find that Daryl was using spray paint to cover over the writing on the doors to the gym. It looked like he was covering it with the image of white fluffy clouds. When I got to his side I could see it wasn’t clouds at all, but angel wings.

I tapped him on his shoulder and he jumped, startled by my touch. He must have been in the zone. I eyed over the art work he had created. The wings leapt off the doors and looked as if they could take flight at any moment. The way he painted them made it looks as if the golden sun was shining over them and casting silver shadows on the edges. I couldn’t understand how he had managed to make the wings look so lifelike and colourful using only three different coloured cans.

“It’s amazing.” I breathed, completely astonished at how talented he was. “Did you do graffiti before?”

Daryl added a few more sprays to his dazzling art work.

“Urban art.” He corrected. “I messed about a bit when I was in middle school, but I got bored real quick.”

I reached out to put my hands on his masterpiece and drew it back when I realised it would still be wet. “This was a really good idea.”

“God ain’t forgivin’ no-one what they did. The kids don’t need to be reminded of it e’ry time they come down ‘ere.”

I nodded in agreement.

“It’s just so beautiful…so perfect.” I turned towards him and gripped his hairy chin between my fingers and pulled his jaw down so I could stand on my tip toes and kiss him. “Just like you.” I murmured against his lips.

* * *

 

Daryl was not impressed with my movie choice, but he sat down among the kids, Mix and I and watched it anyway. I had a huge smile pasted on my face throughout the movie, I even managed to smile through the bits that reminded me of daddy. Marie and I giggled and clapped our hands together like we were _both_ school girls, when our favourite song came on.

 _Look at this stuff_  
Isn't it neat?  
Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?  
Wouldn't you think I'm the girl  
The girl who has everything?

Marie and I started dancing, flinging our hair around and rolling around on the floor, mimicking the movements on screen. The other girls joined in with us, rolling and giggling on the floor and the boys laughed at our performance. Daryl screwed his face up and tried to hide his smirk.

When it got to my favourite part I rolled across the floor to him, and propped myself up on my arms and leaned into his body.

 _When's it my turn?  
Wouldn't I love, love to explore that shore up above?  
Out of the sea  
Wish I could be  
Part of _ your _world_

I batted my eye lids playfully, doing my best to make him uncomfortable. He tried to resist at first, turning his blushing face away from mine and pressing his lips together to stop himself smiling. I continued rubbing my shoulder into him and fluttering my lashes, and his lips curled into a sideways smile. He turned suddenly towards me and gripped the sides of my face with his rough, calloused hands.

“You’re fuckin’ beautiful , you know that?” He took my lips in his and pressed down on them, and I felt a stirring between my legs that I never thought I would feel again.

“Language.” Was all I could manage to murmur against his lips.

* * *

 

I was nervous about going to bed that night. It was obvious we had both felt something after that kiss we had shared during the movie, and I knew when our bodies were together in bed, the topic of being intimate was going to… come up. We had moved the coffee table and pushed the two sofas together to form a makeshift bed, and tossed on a pile of blankets and pillows. I had chosen to wear a school sweater to bed over my underwear. It was quite warm on the second level, and I thought with Daryl’s body heat I wouldn’t need much more than that.

I lay on one of the sofas stock-still, watching him by the moonlight that filtered between the blinds, while he pulled his sweat shirt ─which matched the one I was wearing ─ over his head and tossed it to the ground. Daryl had insisted on washing his own clothes for some reason, and they were still hanging over the low wall in the change room shower, drying. He looked real cute in those too-short sweat pants. He looked even cuter sauntering over to me shirtless with his muscled body spotted with scars and tattoos. He climbed over the arms of the sofa and slipped in beside me and pulled the blankets around us, and I waited for what would come next.

He didn’t do anything that I had expected him to. He just slipped his arm around my waist, kissed me on the cheek and closed his eyes.

I held my body tense thinking about the warmth and smell and firmness of him pressed against me. There was a part deep inside of me that desperately wanted to make love to Daryl, but there was another part that was terrified even of the thought.

“It was an okay day today.” I whispered trying to start up a conversation to shake my tension away.

Daryl opened his eyes and looked at me through the dim light.

“Yeah it was.”

“It won’t be so bad stayin’ here…until we can find a car for all these kids.”

“Yeah. I’ll need to go huntin’ tomorrow, but after that I’ll have a look in town.” Daryl closed his eyes again, and I stared nervously at the ceiling.

“Umm…so…do you miss the others?” I tried to use a casual tone that would cover my anxiety.

Daryl opened his eyes again and propped himself up on his elbow.

“Yeah I do…you?”

“Yeah. I miss Judy most of all…but I know she’s safe.” I started twiddling my thumbs, and then my foot started twitching too.

Daryl looked to the dancing blanket at our feet and then to the hands resting on his arm, and then to my face. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I chewed on my bottom lip. “Just…you know…thinkin’…’bout stuff.”

Daryl smirked and then ran his hand down along my sweater. He edged his fingers under the hem of it and then crept them slowly up underneath it.

“This kind of stuff?” He murmured.

His warm touch against my skin sent tingles through my body and clouded my mind. I held myself still as I tried to pinpoint the emotion I was feeling, and then I nodded.

Daryl climbed on top of me and pushed my trembling thighs apart with his knees, and lowered himself gently on top of me. His chest was pressed against my breasts, and I could feel his erection pressing against me through the fleece of his pants and the cotton of my underpants. I drew in a deep breath in an effort to settle my turning stomach.

He lowered his lips on to mine and taking my bottom lip in between his he ran his tongue along it ever so slightly. I drew in a quick breath, and he did the same as he pulled his face away from mine.

“You sure you’re ready? It’s only been a few days.”

My entire body was shaking in apprehension. I didn’t know if I was ready, but I did want to be. So I nodded.

His hands traced along my waist to my hip and then up along my side and then rested against the fleshy side of my breast. His mouth moved from my mouth, to my chin, along my jaw and to my ear. He breathed against it and I was immediately reminded of the sickening sound Anton had made into my ear when he was on top of me.

I held my breath and tried to push the image away. I looked at the familiar muscle tone and collection of scars on Daryl’s broad shoulders and tried to remind myself that it was Daryl and not Anton who was on top of me.

Daryl slipped his hand under my arm and to my shoulder blade and pulled me against his chest as he ground his hips into mine, pushing his erection in firmer between my legs. I swallowed as I tried to hold back vomit.

_It’s Daryl. It’s Daryl. It’s Daryl._

My Mantra was no use, I was a trembling, twisting, panicking mess.

“No. Stop!” I cried.

He stopped immediately and raised his head looking at me with questioning eyes.

“I…I don’t think I’m ready.” I swallowed down the bile again. “Please, get off.”

Daryl wriggled around while he tried to clamour off me. All I could feel was him moving between my legs and pressing against my sensitive spots.

“Get off!” I squealed as my vision filled with the image of Anton again.

Daryl threw himself to the side and stared at me as I panted and puffed and tried to catch my breathe.

“I’m sorry.” I gasped. “I thought it might be okay…but…”

Daryl moved his hand to my chin.

“It’s okay, I don’t expect nothin’.”

I nodded my head. “I just…I need a little more time.”

Daryl wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me in to his chest.

“Take all the time you need. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a little tease at whats to come. Beth is just not ready yet.
> 
> Seems like we've discovered Daryl has a bit of talent.
> 
> I'm going to add a few more chapters to Part 1 'An Unexpected Journey.' Most likely with next update. It irritates me that it was only 9 chapters when Part 2 is 12 and this will probably be 12 too. I'm OCD like that. It'll be two new chapters at the start, and the current first chapter split into two to make up for it.


	4. Austin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl finds out more about Austin.

I woke up with a raging boner that was hard enough to drill through diamond. I lay on the sofa staring up at the ceiling, and trying to think of something other than Beth's soft and sweet smelling body curled up beside me. Dead cats in a puddle of fur and guts on the road side, chunks of walker brain, wobbling like Jell-O on the hilt of my Busse, Grandma. Nothing helped, my eyes kept being drawn like iron to a magnet, to her tight waist exposed under the twisted fleece of her sweater, and then down over her smooth rounded rump, exposed by her panties caught between her cheeks. I wondered if she would be ready yet. It had been a few weeks at least since we had last tried, and her night time kisses had been getting heavier and wetter.

I gingerly put my hand across her belly and stroked downwards, slipping my fingers under the frilled elastic band of her too small panties. I worked my way down through the soft curly hair, and to the silky smooth skin on the hood on her clit.

"Stop." She gasped as she pushed her hand on top of mine, flattening it against her belly.

I drew my hand away and out quickly, feeling like a fat kid caught touching the sweet rolls.

"Sorry…just thought you might…"

"I'm bleedin'."

"Oh." So it had been at least a month since it had all happened.

I leaned down and nuzzled into her neck, inhaling the vanilla scent of her. She had found some perfumes in the lockers and had been experimenting with all the different scents, but Vanilla was my favourite so she wore it most often.

"We could go take a shower." I murmured in her ear.

She drew in a quick sharp breath and held it for a while.

"Not yet…soon…just not yet."

I held back a groan of frustration and kissed her behind her ear.

"Whenever you're ready."

I guessed it would probably take more than a month; which did disappoint me just a little. It's not like I hadn't had my dry spells before I had been with Beth. But now that I knew what I was missing out on, my mind was on it all the time.

I wriggled out from behind her and climbed over the arm of the sofa that made up half of our bed, trying to avoid stepping on the guitar she had rested against the sofa so she could practice at night.

I stretched out and cracked my back with a groan. The sofa was the most comfortable thing I had slept on in ages, but old men─ like myself ─ still woke up sore.

"You're gettin' up early." Beth said as she sat up and stretched.

"Yeah, gon' take a shower before I head out. Might try out Roanoke."

I had been venturing further and further away from the school in search of cars, or car batteries seeing as that was what we most needed. We had only found one running car in the whole of Green mount, and it was only a tiny Honda hatch. I had considered trying to squeeze all those kids in there. I thought it might be doable, if I took one or two on the bike with me. But sometimes those kids could get so rowdy and restless, they would drive Beth insane on that four hour trip. Beth still liked to drive the Honda around the parking lot. Said she had nearly forgotten how to drive during that time on the run and then at the prison, and needed the practice.

Beth was watching me collect up my boots and clothing, with a pout on her lips

"I don't think you should…it's probably swarming with walkers."

"I'll be careful. I'll scope it out first and I won't go too far in."

Beth looked down to her bare knees.

"You wanna get back to the others, right?"

She looked up at me, and shrugged.

"I guess so."

"Well we might have to take a lil' risk."

Beth frowned at me and then crawled out of bed and picked up her guitar and started strumming it while humming a tune I didn't recognise.

"Still workin' on your song?"

"mmm." She mumbled.

She had been trying to write a song over the past few weeks, but she kept complaining that something was missing in the lyrics. I knew nothing about music, so I wasn't about to be any help to her.

"Gon' take that shower."

"You've been takin' a lot of showers lately." She said while eyeing me up and down with a furrowed brow. "We won't have so much water come summer."

"It's okay, I won't take long."

I left her there frowning at the strings on her guitar while I went downstairs. That shower drain was taking my load whether Beth was gonna be a part of it or not.

* * *

The weather was starting to heat up now as we moved into spring, and the children were restless about being cooped up inside the gym to play. It seemed every time they went to the outside play equipment we would wake up the next morning with half a dozen walkers pawing at the gates, so I had told them they could play out in the courtyard that attached to the cafeteria in the centre of the school. That was where I found Beth and the kids that morning after I had showered and gotten dressed.

I was wearing my usual vest and button up and my new pair of jeans. Well, newish, second-hand jeans. Beth had tricked me into thinking she was going to fix my old pair for me, and she had ended up trashing them. My new pair I settled on after finding several pairs of skin tight, new age shit that kids wore before the world went to hell. I wouldn't be buried in them. These were the only ones that fit and I could run in. They didn't stay in their newish condition for long, running through the woods, killing walkers and skinning game, weren't work for new clothes.

The eleven kids we had taken charge of were playing on black and white tiles laid in a checkerboard pattern amongst the grass, while Beth sat on the loose gravel next to Mix, scrubbing clothes against the washboard. The kids giggled and squealed in delight, as they jumped from tile to tile trying not to fall off their specified colour.

Beth eyed over the stains on my jeans as I approached her. She looked to my face and I avoided her gaze, not wanting to lose another item of clothing I liked, and I looked to the kids playing.

"I think it's supposed to be a chessboard you know." Beth commented, as she watched me examining the board.

I scratched my chin thoughtfully. I had walked past those tiles a dozen times, but never thought you could play anything on it until now.

"You know, I think I saw some big-ass horse heads in the groundskeepers shed. Maybe they were chess pieces."

Her eyes lit up. "You should get them. I would love to beat you in a game of chess." She winked at me teasingly.

That was unlikely. Merle had become quite the master at chess while he was locked up, and he had taught me all the sneaky and successful tips of the trade.

"You're on." I challenged.

"Awse, Marie, Tomsee, Nate, Laws, come give me a hand." It had taken me a few days to learn all their names, and a few weeks to come up with nicknames for them.

The kids left their game and followed me, around the side of the building to the groundskeepers shed.

The horse heads had been poking out from under a dark tarp, and when I pulled it away I found pawns, knights, bishops, castles, queens and kings. The kids all grabbed two pieces each, and I filled my arms with as many as possible. Not wanting to make more than two trips if at all possible.

As I walked back around to the courtyard, I dropped one of the pawns and it rolled on the gravel and stopped in a dark ring of dried up oil that had been left by a car. It seemed quite long for your average car. I looked overhead to the high patio roof, whatever car had been here, it had been big…big enough to fit a shit-ton of kids…something like a school bus.

"Hey Awse." I called over to the blue eyed boy, who was trying to carry four pieces as if to prove something to me. The kid was always trying to impress me in some way. He had grown quite solid over the last month, being fed right and getting lots of sunshine and exercise. He was always telling me that his aim was to have guns as big as mine someday.

He looked up at me, while trying to balance his pieces, and waited for me to continue.

"Your old school…did it have a school bus?"

"Well it _was_ a school." He replied smartly.

"Alright smartass, do you think you can remember where they kept it?"

Austin pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Yeah probably, if I was there."

"You wanna come on a ride with me today?"

Austin dropped his load of chess pieces to the ground. "On your bike?" He asked excitedly.

"Yeah."

"Hell yes!" His bright blue eyes filled with hope and enthusiasm.

"Alright eager beaver, you gotta pick up them pieces and take 'em over for me first."

Austin scooped up the pieces and juggled them in his arms as he raced back towards the courtyard, and I picked my pieces up and followed.

* * *

I couldn't leave without kicking Beth's ass in chess at least once. She pouted and accused me of cheating. I may have taken advantage of her rusty knowledge about the rules, but that wasn't cheating, just taking opportunity. We played another game and I let her win just for the sake of peace.

After that I collected my back pack, Airborne and the camera I had taken from the media room a few weeks back. I had never owned a camera before, except the crappy little one that was on my cell that I had before the turn. I liked to take it out with me and take snaps of what I found while out hunting or while on the road. Finding something pretty in this shit ugly world was my favourite subject, and every now and then I had the chance to capture it. I had to read a book as thick as my thumb to figure out how to use the thing and Beth had wanted me to teach the kids how to use it, along with painting after seeing my piece on the gym doors. She said with her teaching them music we could raise some real arty kids. But I refused both. I didn't have the patience she had.

Beth followed Austin and I around to the front gate, making a big fuss over me taking him out of the safety of the school. Saying he was too young and inexperienced, and he had chores and lessons to do, and so on. Austin and I rolled our eyes at each other and smirked in mutual understanding.

I climbed on to the bike that was parked by the entrance to the school under the steel and glass canopy. Austin jumped up on the bike behind me, carrying his backpack, and began fidgeting impatiently.

"You make sure you hold on to me tight, boy." I told him over my shoulder.

" _You_ ride real careful." Beth insisted.

I looked back to her.

"I ain't never put my bike down, and there ain't any competition out on them roads anyways."

"Well…You be real carful at that school too. We haven't been around that part of town much."

"I got my knife." Austin said as he dug into the leather sheathe I had fashioned for him out of deer hide using the tools from the workshop, and tanning it by boiling the deer's brain up in Beth's big pot…which she was not happy about.

Austin held up his knife, and I laughed to myself imagining little Austin taking on a walker with his tiny blade.

Beth glared at me, not finding anything humorous about Austin's ballsy attitude.

"You should take Mix with you." Beth suggested.

Mix happily bounded towards me at the mention of his name and stood at my feet begging to get on the bike.

"Nah. You know I like him to stay with you and the kids." Poor Mix looked like he desperately needed some time away from the women and children.

Beth smiled and gave Mix a rub on the head, and Mix licked her affectionately.

"Well...you take good care of each other, boys."

"We will…mom." I teased as I kicked the bike into action.

"Yeah…mom." Austin mimicked, I glanced over my shoulder at him disapprovingly. It wasn't the first time one of the kids had called her mom, and it irked me every time.

"I mean Miss Beth." Austin lowered his eyes to the bike below him.

Beth pouted at his response. I don't think the kids calling her mom bothered her as much as it bothered me.

Beth opened the gate for us, and then she waved us away as we rode down the hill and into town.

* * *

Austin had gone to the Benjamin Franklin Middle School before the outbreak. I had ridden past it a few times while going on supply runs, but I had never stopped in that area. It was made up of two separate buildings on the one site. Both built from terracotta coloured brick. The west building was a single story older looking building and the east was double story and newer. I parked the bike at the entrance to the west building, and took my camera out to take a snap of the two flag poles that were flying two tattered flags at half-mast.

I was a little wary about entering unknown territory with so few weapons. I had left the M16 at the school with Beth and had only taken my Airborne, Busse, and Austin's little knife. I hadn't come across anymore firearms on my travels. The Walmart and hunting shops had all been cleared out long ago. But I did manage to find some ammo for the M16, some crossbow bolts and I had also managed to work up some new arrows in the workshop at the school, and I kept them in my extra quiver I had made there. In a month of staying in Green Mount I had only come across a few dozen walkers, and no humans, so I hadn't the need for any extra firepower just yet.

I figured the school had been evacuated early, just like the town, as it was as quiet as a corpse in a library, but I still banged on the glass doors to see if anything stirred inside. Austin waited by my side with his fingers tapping on his blade at his hip nervously.

"You know if many kids were sick at your school when you left?"

"Yeah some were sick, and were sent home. My mom pulled me out of school as soon as all this stuff went on the news, so I don't know how many still came in after that."

There was no movement inside so I figured all the kids must have been brought home early. I picked up a loose brick from the wall of the garden bed and smashed the glass pane on the door so I could unlock it, and then we both made our way in.

The entrance hallway was really dark and dank, and foul smelling. It was nothing like the school we were staying in. Even the paintings and photographs on the walls were dull. It kind of reminded me of the school I went to as a kid…when I went to school. At the end of the entry way was a fire hose and a fire axe in a red cabinet. Austin opened it and pulled the axe out. It was only a small axe, more like a hatchet really.

"We need more weapons, right." He asked as he held it out in front of him.

"Can you swing that thing?"

Austin started twirling the axe using both hands like it was a samurai sword.

He smiled up at me, and I smiled back.

Austin led me through a series of dark hallways, littered with chairs and tables and torn up books. It was so dark down there that I had to get my flashlight out. I held it between my teeth while I kept my bow drawn, just in case.

"It's kinda creepy here, when it's all dark." Austin whispered.

"Always this dark in 'ere?" I mumbled around the flashlight.

Austin pointed up to the ceiling.

"They're usually lit up."

"Looks like no-ones been clearing the gutters." I said removing the flashlight and looking up to the skylights covered in dirt and leaves and other filth. "that's a fire hazard right there." I chuckled, and Austin screwed his face up, not getting my joke.

After getting near lost in a maze of black hallways we came to two large double doors that were heavily chained and padlocked. I put my Airborne under my arm and examined the lock. It was thick and locked tight.

Austin went to swing his axe at it and I stilled him.

"That ain't budgin." I mumbled with the light between my teeth.

Austin pouted and lowered his axe.

"Another way out back?" I asked Austin, taking the flashlight out of my mouth, and shining it on his face.

"Yeah, through the cafeteria, it's on the other side."

Austin waved for me to follow him, and I did, shining the light ahead so he could see where he was going.

We made our way to the other side of the building and down more winding corridors. Austin stopped in front of one of the doors, and I shined the light on it to see that it had a black '32' painted on it.

"That was my old classroom." He said pointing at the door. I tried looking through the tiny window, but it was so dusty I couldn't make anything out.

"You wanna take a look?" I asked him, and he nodded in reply.

"You open the door real slow like." I told him, as I put the torch back in my mouth and directed the beam of light at the handle. I drew back on my Airborne and then nodded for him to go ahead.

The handle turned easily and Austin slowly pushed the door open letting off a small squeak as it moved on its hinges.

The room was much brighter than the corridors. A whole wall was covered in dirty windows. The classroom was also filthy. Pens and pencils and papers were thrown all over the floor and several desks and chairs were upturned. The teacher's desk was leaning up against the blackboard, and someone had scrawled _'None are spared'_ over the board again and again.

I took a picture of the board, while Austin poked around the room. He shoved some books and things into his backpack and then he turned over a desk and chair and sat at it facing the front of the classroom.

"This was my spot."

I turned around and looked at the bright face, bright eyed youth sitting amongst a disaster zone.

"Stay right there." I told him as I took a few snaps of him. I picked up a pencil and some paper from the floor and placed it on the desk in front of him.

"Make like your writin' somethin'."

Austin started scribbling across the page and I took a few more snaps of him.

"Best move on now." I said as I searched through the display looking at the snaps I had taken.

Austin took out his knife and started scratching into his desk. When he stepped away I looked at what he had done. It read _'Austin waz ere'_.

"That'd get you a detention, defacing school property like that." I said with a smirk. Austin smirked back, then sheathed his knife and picked up his axe and backpack and made his way back into the dark corridor.

The cafeteria was at the end of the corridor behind two large glass doors. It was dark inside, but there was a square of sun lit white on the opposite side of the room by the outside doors. It cast enough light into the room to reveal that it was swarming with walkers.

I put my finger to my lips to tell Austin to be quiet and he nodded.

"Is there another way out there?" I whispered.

"Only if you want to climb a barbed wire fence."

I frowned and then sidled up to the glass to assess our options.

There were a heap of tables and chairs in there that could provide good cover and the walkers were mainly little ones and all skin and bone. They had probably been rotting away in here since the beginning of the outbreak.

"If we're real careful, we might be able to avoid them." I whispered. "You stay right on my heels. I move you move. I stop you stop. I run you run. Got it?"

Austin nodded, and held his axe up on his shoulder.

I switched off the flashlight, tucked it into my pocket next to the almost empty pack of Marlboro lights, and carefully pulled down on the door handle. I eased it open inch by inch, trying to avoid any creaking, and trying not to gag when the smell of rot escaped. I motioned for Austin to go in and I followed him closing the door gently behind myself.

Once inside I dropped to my knees and crawled behind a table, trying to hold my Airborne off the floor so it didn't scrape and give away our position. We waited for a little girl with pig tails to shuffle past, before crouch running over to the nearby servery. We followed that along the length of most of the room and waited at the end, for another small group to shuffle past.

I mapped out my route to the door. Three tables to hide under, then I would have to rush at the door, get out there and close it behind us before the walkers could get to us. I pointed to the three tables and door indicating my plan and Austin nodded.

When the coast was clear we crouched over to the first table, and then we waited a moment before moving to the next. I made it over easy and turned back to watch Austin. On top of the table was a lunch tray. It had a fork hanging off the end caught under a plate. As Austin passed it the fork caught in the loop on his backpack and he started dragging it along. I tried waving to him to tell him to stop, but his eyes where fixed on the nearby walkers.

The fork fell to the floor bringing the tray and plate with it, and landing with a clang, bang and shatter to the floor.

"Shit." Austin hissed.

"Run." I called.

I stood up and shot the walker that was about to pounce on Austin, and Austin dodged away from its falling body and then raced over to me with his axe raised. I backed towards the door while firing arrows into the groaning, moaning and stumbling walkers who looked at us with empty sunken eyes.

Austin started fumbling at the lock. He clicked it open and pulled on the handle, while I emptied my second quiver.

"It's jammed." He cried.

I lowered my Airborne, turned my back to the walkers and slammed down on the handle trying to get it to turn.

I heard a battle cry from behind me and turned to see little Austin swinging his axe wildly around into walker skulls, sending black tar like gunk over the linoleum in long splatters. I watched him in awe as he dodged and weaved and spun, splitting skull after skull. The kid was a natural, I didn't even think he needed my help, but I pulled out my Busse and went to his aide anyway.

I grabbed hold of two tables at once and dragged them back towards the door to form a barricade around us, and from our safe position behind it we hacked, stabbed and slashed our way through what was left of the walkers.

"This is…kind of…fun, hey?" Austin called between hacks.

"Killing them…is not…supposed to… be fun." I replied, while stabbing.

When we were almost done the bodies of a few dozen walkers piled up in front of the tables. There was one walker left. It was small and slow and moaning weakly as it fell to the table and tried reaching towards us. It was just a kid. A little smaller than Austin, dressed in shorts and a striped tee and with only one jogger on his feet.

Austin stood before him with his axe raised, hesitating to take the swing.

"What's the matter?"

"It's…my best friend… John Clarke." He muttered.

I looked to the John's face, grey and drawn under a mess of blonde curls. There was something in his eyes, that I hardly saw in a walker. A flicker of emotion. Sadness, and hopelessness. I took my camera from my back pack and walked over to him and knelt so I could snap a close up of his face.

"Why are you taking its picture?" Austin asked with a raised eyebrow.

I pointed to the still struggling kid walker. "He was once a living person…I want to capture that."

Austin frowned at me and then looked back to his friend. I pulled out my Busse and ended the kid as humanely as possible.

"He never did like school." Austin muttered as he looked down on the corpse, finally at rest.

"Well, I just sent him home." I said as I dropped a comforting hand on his shoulder.

* * *

We checked the cafeteria kitchen after that. I figured it would still have some stock in it if it hadn't been touched in years. I found a few cans of beans, spam and tuna. And a few pounds of bread mix and sea salt. The mix was probably riddled with flour bugs, but it had been years since I had eaten bread, and the bugs would only add extra protein anyway.

The cafeteria door opened after a few firm shoves and we made our way to the back of the school and to a long patio area that sheltered the school buses. There were two big yellow things, and one smaller bus that looked like it might have been used for small group field trips. I tried them all out, but none of them kicked over. I had a feeling they would be no good. Batteries weren't made to sit around for years.

I popped the hood for the smaller bus and checked out the engine and battery. It looked like the same kind of battery you might have in a truck. I placed my palm against it, trying to measure it up, and took mental note of its type and then closed the hood. All I needed was to find a truck with a working battery of the same size and then we could pile the bus up with the kids and head into Washington.

We left the school feeling a little deflated about not getting the bus, but it was a relief that we weren't going to have to get rid of the bike just yet. Austin posed in front of the wall of the building for me to take one last snap and then waved goodbye to the school. He dropped his new axe into his backpack head first and pulled the zip up around the handle. Then we hopped back on the bike and I gave it a kick and let it roar to life.

"Hey Daryl?" Austin called over the bike.

"Yeah?"

"Can we go to my house? It's not far from here, just over on Trail Drive."

"Sure kid."

I applied the throttle and took off from the school car park and down the main road. Austin pointed out the way for me, and we came to a small single story home on a property a few minutes later. I parked the bike in the drive, grabbed my Airborne, just in case, and headed to the front door. The place was open and it looked as if it had been home to a family of goats the way everything was thrown about and torn to shit.

Austin walked through the house like it didn't bother him and went straight for his bedroom. I walked behind him and stopped and waited outside his door while he grabbed some toys and clothes. My eyes were fixed to a nail in the wall by his door and what was hanging from it. A thick, black leather belt.

Austin came out of his room and looked at me while I stared at the belt.

"My dad put that there to scare me." Austin explained pointing at the belt.

"He use it on you?"

"Yeah a couple of times."

Austin lifted his backpack and sweater and showed me a thin silvery line just above his backside.

"Left this once. Pretty cool huh?"

"No it ain't." I said as I pulled his sweater back down.

"I was kinda a shitty kid. I probably deserved it."

"No. You didn't." I snapped.

"Whatever." Austin said with a shrug and sauntered off down the hall.

We passed an open door into an almost immaculate nursery. It looked like it had never been touched. It probably hadn't. Austin's mom most likely had Jamie over at the school after the outbreak.

"You know, I coulda gone...to the capitol. I was old enough. But I stayed 'cause they wouldn't take Jamie."

"You did good kid. That's what a big brothers is supposed to do. Stay."

Austin frowned at the room and continued down the hall. I reached in and closed the door hoping to preserve it in its current state.

I followed him down into the dirty master bedroom, littered with clothing and trash and I watched him as he sifted through his parents belongings.

He went through the drawer by the bedside and pulled out a white pack with a coloured line on the side.

"Here you go." He tossed the pack towards me, and I looked it over.

"Virginia Slims?"

"Yeah my mom used to smoke 'em all the time. You ran out right?"

"Yeah I did…but these are kind of girls smokes."

Hell, I wasn't gonna be fussy. I pulled one out of the half full pack lit it and took a long drag. Austin smiled at me, and I thought about what Beth would say about me smoking around a kid. I put the cigarette out in the ashtray by the bed and then put it back into the pack, and put the pack in my pocket next to the Marlboro lights packet.

Austin sifted through the draw again and pulled out a pair of shades. He tossed those over to me too.

"Awesome, Awse." I flicked them open and slipped them on, and looked around the now dark room. It was just what I needed for riding the bike.

"They were my dad's." Austin said with a grin.

I took the glasses off and threw them on to the dirty ground.

"Don't need 'em."

There was something about this place that made me feel unsettled. His mom smoked the same cigarettes as the ones that killed my own mom, his dad used to beat him, and sometimes the things the kid said and did reminded me of myself. I wondered what would have happened to him, if the world hadn't gone to shit. Would he better or worse off?

"Let's get out of 'ere, kid. It's givin' me the creeps."

* * *

That night back at the school after the kids had been fed and washed and tucked in to bed, Beth sat on the arm of the couch strumming on her guitar and humming. She looked super cute sitting there in my old sweater, that was so large it slumped off her shoulder, and the guitar across her lap. Every now and then she would stop and then scribble into her journal and then go back to strumming and humming.

I pulled off my clothes and boots, and climbed into my sweat pants that I had taken a favour to sleeping in.

"Finished yet?" I asked when I was ready for bed.

She frowned. "Almost."

I gave a long sigh and then climbed into the bed and looked up at the ceiling fan. Beth put the guitar down and slid in beside me and put her head on my chest.

"You disappointed about today?" She asked.

"Yeah a lil'."

"You shouldn't be." She stroked gently over my chest.

"Jus', it's been a month since we seen the others. Got no clue what's goin' on over there. If they ever made it. If they're all okay…"

"They are." Beth said surely.

She took in a deep breath as if the was thinking something over.

"You know…even if you find that battery…I'm not so sure we should leave this place."

I glanced down at her and she looked up.

"I mean…it's got everything we need here. It's quiet and safe…And Washington is where the other adults went…They said there was no place for them….what if they don't let the kids in? It's not like we can leave them."

"What about Maggie and the others?"

Beth frowned and looked to my chest.

"I miss her. I miss everyone…especially Judith. But David said something about Mix always going where he was needed, and he led us here. I think we should stay…I think this is where we belong."

My guts grew tight in anxiety as I thought about staying here forever just me and Beth and the kids. I wasn't ready for that kind of commitment and responsibility.

"I ain't Rick." I said looking down on her bright blue eyes. "I ain't no Gareth or Joe…I ain't even the governor…and I certainly ain't no lord of flies."

"Lord of flies?"

"Yeah it's in a book I read in high school…these kids get stranded on an island and they have to do all crazy shit to survive and…never mind. What I'm tryna say is, I would be the only adult and I ain't a leader."

Beth sat up and looked down on me with a wry smile on her face.

" _only_ adult?"

"You know what I mean...the oldest. The one with the responsibility. I'm no good at all that."

"I'll help you, you know the _other_ adult…and you are good at it. You've done an amazing job with these kids so far, and I remember what you did back at the prison for Rick…after Lori died."

"That was different, I had the others there…we had the council…your dad."

Beth frowned at the mention of her dad, and dropped her head back to my chest.

"I just wanna stop runnin' you know?"

I was used to running. I ran my whole life. But Beth…and these kids, deserved some stability. I let out a deep resolved sigh.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"We'll stay."

Beth shot up and flashed me a wide grin, before leaning forward to give me a heavy wet kiss, which was going to haunt me all night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm totally giving Daryl some of Norman's personality.


	5. Meeting Mary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth meets someone who can help her overcome her fears of being with Daryl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drugs are bad Mmmkay
> 
> I totally butchered Emily Kinney's 'Kids' so it would fit my story.

 

It was poking into my backside again. Like it did every morning. And like every morning I closed my eyes against the dawn light creeping through the window blinds, and repeated my Mantra in my head.

_It's Daryl. It's Daryl. It's Daryl._

But it never gave me the strength to do anything about it. I was never able to roll over towards him, rip his sweat pants off and climb on top, as I had played it out in my mind so many times. So I just lay there, allowing him to press it in to the fleshy parts of me, while he shifted and sighed uncomfortably, and I stared at the grain in the leather on the sofa.

Some mornings he would rub his warm and rough hands over my skin, and cause my spine to shiver and my hair to stand on end. And some mornings he would simply give me a quick kiss on the cheek and then jump out of bed trying to avoid touching any other part of me.

On this particular morning it was the former. He had wrapped his arm around me and drew my body back into him firmly. He pressed his erection into me so hard, that I was sure my backbone was going to end up black and blue. Then he rubbed his hand firmly over the fleece that clung to my breast, and then dragged his hand down to my waist kneading and caressing me on the way. He had tucked his fingers under my sweatshirt and gently circled his fingers under the fabric trailing back and forth across my skin and circling around my naval. It felt nice. Real nice. And the usual twitching and clenching between my legs started.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to my ear and rested them there for a moment before speaking.

"You awake?" He murmured.

I tried to speak, but the words where caught in my throat so I just nodded.

He pressed two fingers into the fleshy part of my belly, and started walking them down towards the waistband of my panties, and then he slipped them under it and made his way down under the cotton fabric.

I held my breath, unsure of what thoughts or feelings his touch on that part of my body would bring.

He wound his fingers slowly through the curls, wrapping them across his fingers, and then pushed further down, to my most delicate spot. He pushed a single finger down over it and pressed it inwards firmly, and I let out a moan, as everything in the area began to tingle and throb.

_So far, so good._

He began rubbing in a firm circular motion, while he placed wet kisses over my shoulder and neck, and I sighed and gasped as the throbbing intensified. I gripped onto the blanket with one hand, and with the other I ran it over the solid muscles of his forearm, feeling them roll beneath my fingers as he worked on me.

_You're doing it!_

I let out a loud groan as I threw my head back, curled my toes, and arched my back, which pressed his erection in to my backside even harder. He let out his own groan and then tucked my pelvis into his, using the hand that was fondling with my sweet-spot.

He moved his finger down delicately towards my quivering, wet opening, and slipped it inside me up to the last knuckle.

I gasped again at the sudden, intense and foreign sensation. It had been nearly two months since anything had been in there, and it almost felt like I was untouched and new. As he rubbed the finger back and forth pulling it in and out of me rapidly, slapping his palm against my pearl, I thought of the last thing that was in there.

It was not Daryl's finger, it wasn't his tongue, and it wasn't his erection. It wasn't anything that belonged to Daryl.

"Stop." I gasped urgently as I put my hand to his wrist and dragged it away from me.

Daryl let out a sigh and lay still behind me for a few moments, with his wet hand still on my hip.

"…I'm sorry." I muttered

I felt him shift behind me, and then he was sitting up and leaning over so he could see my face.

"Does it hurt or somethin'?"

I shook my head.

"Only in here." I brought my fingers to my chest and pushed them into the plush grey fleece of the sweater, indicating the position of my fluttering heart.

_You have to put it away. You have to. Or it kills you._

Daryl let out another sigh and kissed me on my shoulder, exposed by the loose collar of the sweater.

"It'll get better." He murmured against my skin.

I reached over my shoulder to grab his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I know it will."

He gave me a grin and a gently chuck below the chin.

"I'mma take a shower."

He rolled away from me and crawled off the makeshift sofa bed and onto the floor. I rolled over to my stomach so I could watch him as he groaned, and stretched the muscles on his toned back, while pressing his shapely arms into the air.

He had been taking a lot of showers lately. He had been having one every single morning for at least two weeks. That was more than what I was having. It was more than he had ever taken in the whole time I had known him. I guessed he just liked to take advantage of the fact that we _had_ hot water to shower with. But I didn't know how he would continue with his ritual come summer when the water supply started to dry up.

"You go back to sleep." He said over his shoulder before bending to collect his clothing and boots off the floor.

I couldn't go back to sleep. My pulse was still racing from what had happened that morning. Or what had failed to happen. I wished I was stronger, more resilient. Like these children we took care of. Their parents had all died, and then the people who should have taken care of them had all left them alone for months. They had been locked inside a room with a decaying body. They had seen their friends and family die. Yet every day they got up bright eyed and smiling, and laughed and played the day away, in a way only kids seemed to know how.

I stretched out, arching my back and pressing my shoulders and backside to the ceiling and then I reached down over the arm of the sofa to grab my guitar. I pulled it on to my lap and started plucking at the strings, humming along as I sung the lyrics in my head of the song I had been writing over the past couple of weeks. Daryl was standing with his hand on the door handle to the corridor, watching me with a tranquil smile on his face.

"Why don't you ever let me hear it?"

I stopped playing and humming. "Hear what?"

"What you been writin'."

I pursed my lips as I thought it over. The song I had been writing had been all about me getting over my fear of being with him. I didn't want to sing it to him until I was sure I _was_ over my fear.

"Why don't you let me see your pictures?" I asked, trying to shift the focus of conversation.

Daryl shrugged his shoulders and looked down to his bare feet.

"I dunno…they're kinda for myself, you know? They help me think about shit. I ain't no performin' seal, just wanna way to keep my thoughts."

I gave him a reassuring smile, happy that he was finding a healthy way to explore what was going on his mind.  
"I _will_ let you hear it…when it's ready."

Daryl pressed his lips together as if in thought and nodded his head slowly at me. "I'll let you see my snaps…When I'm ready."

With that he slipped out the door, and I reached down to grab my journal. I flipped the page over and pulled out my pen to write down the new lyrics I had thought of. A blue line trailed out of the pen on to the page and then disappeared. I shook the pen and then scribbled it on the corner of the page, but it just left a mess of ridges.

I put the journal down and climbed off the bed and went searching in the supply cabinet for a new pen. The large oak cabinet under the aerial photograph of the school was where I had found boxes of paper and other supplies before, and I figured it might have pens in there too. I opened the cabinet and moved some boxes around, opening them up to check the contents and putting them back. The first shelf was nothing but paper, staples and paper clips, so I moved to the bottom shelf, reaching to the back of the cabinet until my hands rested on a cold, hard, metal box. I dragged it out to find that it was a lock box, with a keyhole for a tiny key.

I had found a key earlier when we had first moved in here and taped it into my journal hoping to find what it opened. The slot in the lock looked about the size and shape of the key, so I went to my journal, took it out and tried it out. The lock clicked as the tumbler slid to the side, and the lid popped open like a jack in the box.

There were a few cell phones, a bean filled, multi-coloured ball, some magazines and a small silver, floral engraved flask with a screw top lid, which looked similar to one daddy once owned. I gave it a shake, and estimated that there was still something left in it, but not much. I unscrewed the lid and smelt the contents. It was a strong odour that burnt the inside of my nose. At a guess I would say whiskey, but I wasn't too knowledgeable on the smell of liquor. I put it back in the box and picked up one of the magazines and studied the topless woman on the cover posing on a red car. It had captions on it like 'World class head, celebrity tits' and 'cock control:101.' The second one was similar, but had a completely naked woman leaning over a bath tub with bubbles slipping down her thighs. The third one was written in a foreign language, Western European by the look. The front cover just had a woman's face so I flicked through the pages, curious about its contents. It was filled with images of things that were probably supposed to be sexual, but they just looked painful and inhumanly possible to me. I dropped the magazine straight down into the box like it was a hot coal, and slammed the lid of the lock box shut, and closed my eyes as I tried to push the images burnt into the back of my skull out of my mind. I figured it must have been items that were confiscated from the students, and I wondered if the principal had deliberately kept them or if he had just never been able to give them back.

I found a box of pens, next to the lock box, so I took one out and went back to my journal to edit my lyrics. Then I gave them a run through.

 _Forget the_ past we've _had, forget the pain we've lived_  
Oh you and I are experts at pretending to be kids  
Wash off all your grass stains, I'll pull off my shoes  
Let's love like we are kids …all shiny and new

The mention of grass stains made me think of the current state of Daryl's clothes. They were absolutely filthy. He wouldn't let me anywhere near them after I had thrown his last pair of pants out. It seemed pointless having all the showers he was having if he kept putting the same sweaty, dirty, bloody clothes back on.

I put down my journal and went looking for my sweatpants, before racing out the door, hoping I could catch Daryl before he finished his shower and my opportunity was lost.

* * *

 

It had only just come to dawn, and the school corridors were dim and dark, and the linoleum floor was icy under my feet. I tucked my hands inside the sleeves of the oversized sweater and gave a little shudder as I made my way towards the change room door. I put my sweatshirt fleece covered hand to the door handle and pushed it down. Unlocked. That was good; I could steal his clothes without him even knowing. I ducked quietly through the door, softy closed it behind me and then padded over to the shower area keeping low and crouching behind the tiled half wall. I could hear the water pattering down on the tiles, and I could hear Daryl too. It sounded like he was sighing, or panting…was he crying? I stood up straight to see what the matter was, and tried not to collapse in laughter at the sight of him.

He was standing with his back to me, with his left arm braced against the wall and his head under the stream of water. His long hair was falling thick and soaked in front of his face, and the water was cascading down over his shoulder blades, his back and backside, making the tattoos and scars that lived there shine and shimmer in the morning light. His right arm was bent out towards me and his hand was reaching between his legs. His muscular arm was jerking up and down in a fast rhythmic motion.

Daryl turned sharply at the sound of my stifled chuckling and nearly lost his balance, slipping on the wet floor. He steadied himself with the hand on the wall, while he tried to cover himself with the other hand, but it was no use. His erection grew straight out of his hand like a tree from the earth.

"What the fuck, Greene?" He cried.

"What are you doin'?" I asked, between giggles.

"What am I… Just get out!" He took his hand off the wall and then pointed to the door, and then put it back on top of his other hand covering the remainder of his erection.

I walked casually over to his pile of clothes on the floor.

"You know the door was unlocked…what if one of the kids came in and saw…that." I let out another chuckle.

"They're all sleepin'…and you're s'pose to be playin' that damn six string…and get the fuck out!"

"Let me do somethin' about these for you." I snatched up the clothes by my feet leaving only his sweat pants, and then backed to the door.

"Greene, if you throw out any of my shit…I'll put you to my knee and spank you." He threatened half-heartedly.

I ducked through the doors opening.

"Better finish spanking that first." I teased as I pointed to his hand-covered erection and then shut the door behind me.

I couldn't get the smile of my face as I walked back through the hallway and upstairs to our room. I danced back through the corridor of the faculty offices, with visions of the wet, jerking Daryl in my mind, and was startled when I saw a tiny shadow standing by my door.

It was little Winnie, with her curly hair growing wild by her face. She was standing in her night dress with a threadbare, sagging teddy tucked under her arm as she rubbed at her big brown eyes.

"What's the matter Winnie?" I asked her, even though I knew she couldn't respond. She pattered towards me, wrapped her arms around my legs and pushed her face into my thigh.

"Did you have a bad dream?" I asked as I looked down on her.

She looked up at me and nodded.

"Do you want me to take you back to bed?"

She shook her head.

"Do you want to help me get breakfast started?"

She nodded.

I tucked Daryl's clothes under my arm and then took Winnie's tiny hand and led her downstairs to the cafeteria kitchen.

I dumped his clothes onto the stainless steel bench next to the wash bucket and washboard, and then helped Winnie to climb up on to the bench beside the cook top. I fished out some eggs from the basket, a large bowl and a beater and put them on the bench next to Winnie.

"Do you wanna scramble the eggs for me?"

Winnie beamed up at me and nodded. Winnie loved helping me with everything. Cooking, cleaning, gardening, collecting eggs, milking the cow, perimeter checks. She was always right by my side, watching my every move.

I helped her crack the eggs into the bowl and then handed her the beater and she began whipping it around in the bowl as fast as her little arms could.

While she did that I sliced some bread from the loaf I had baked the day before, and put it under the griller to toast it.

"Miss Beth." Came a soft voice, as tiny as a mouse's squeak. My jaw dropped and I turned my face towards the normally silent little girl who had just spoken her first words in my presence.

"Y...yes?"

Winnie looked down into the frothy sludge of white and yellow she was mixing.

"Are you my momma?"

I caught my breathe at both the nature of the question and the normally mute person who was asking it. I shook away my shock and then put my hand to her tiny arm.

"I'm not your momma, Winnie. Your momma died when you were little."

Winnie pouted into the bowl, and my heart sank at her disappointed expression.

"…but I do care about you. Very, very much. You and all the kids here."

"What is a momma?" She asked in speech that was so clear, I was sure she had been rehearsing it in her mind for weeks.

"…well…it's someone who looks out for you; washes your clothes, and feeds you, and cleans you, and plays with you, and reads you bed time stories, wipes away your tears, tries to keep you safe…and who cares for you."

Winnie's face screwed up in confusion.

"Marie says that's what _you_ do…so you are my momma?"

"No I'm…" I paused for a moment of thought. "…Sort of…I'm like your surrogate momma. A momma who takes care of you when your other momma can't."

Winnie started pouting again.

"But…if you like...you can call me momma."

Daryl would be furious at me for saying that. He was constantly growling at the kids for calling me mom or him dad, even though most times it was an accident. He didn't want me to get too attached to the children. He kept telling me the little ones never lasted long, but I knew these little ones would always be safe with us.

Winnie pushed the bowl away and leant her tiny body forward and wrapped her arms around me, and I returned the embrace while I stroked my hand through her curly hair.

My heart sunk into my stomach as I thought about the other little girl I had left behind, who I thought might one day ask to call me momma.

* * *

 

Once the eggs and toast were cooked I went back upstairs to get dressed and call everyone to breakfast. Daryl had been outside, sharpening his knife with Mix by his side, and I called him in to eat with us. He came in and sat by one of the circular tables, blushing and avoiding my eyes. I grinned at him, and relished in the idea that I had something to tease him about.

When the children all had their plates I went to bring Daryl his plate and eat by him. He shifted uncomfortably in my presence, while shovelling the wobbling eggs into his mouth.

"I'm sorry about earlier." I tried to sound as sincere as possible, although the thought of Daryl in the shower still made me smile.

He swallowed. "Nah, I shoulda locked the door. Was stupid."

"…not about that… _that_ made my morning…"

He stopped poking at the eggs and clenched his jaw.

"…I'm sorry that I made you wait."

He turned his head to look at me, while slowly chewing.

"I said it's okay." He mumbled.

"I know…I just don't think I can…yet." My amusing thoughts of watching him fondle himself in the shower were now replaced with anxious thoughts about never being able to give myself to him again.

"It's cool, Greene." He flashed a comforting grin at me, and I wondered how much of it was forced.

Daryl finished what he was eating and then declared he was going to get some dinner for tonight.

"You take Mix with you." I insisted, pointing a firm finger at him.

"You know I like 'im to stay with you and the kids." He argued.

I crossed my arms over my chest staunchly.

"No. That's bein' unreasonable. We've been here for nearly two months and we've never had a large herd come through here, and even if we did, these fences are secure. Out there in the wild you have nothin'… Mix goes where he's needed, and he's needed with you."

Mix started pawing at the glass door from outside in the courtyard as if he could hear us talking about him.

Daryl sighed in resignation.

"Okay. Need some man time I guess." He replied with a smirk.

As if he had been listening to our conversation all along, Austin piped in from the table across from ours.

"Can I come?"

"Sure…" Daryl started.

"No." I interrupted. "You have chores and lessons to do. You haven't finished that character work for me yet."

Austin groaned and pouted and poked at his eggs, sullenly.

"Think that one might be an outdoor cat." Daryl said with a frown while he nodded his head towards the sulking boy. He gave his head a gently shake as if shifting a thought and then gave me a kiss on the cheek before collected his gear and leaving through the glass doors to the courtyard.

After we had all eaten, I called the older children to do their chores while I took the wash basket outside to do the laundry. I sat down on the gravel while I watched the younger children play their crossover version of chess and knights and dragons on the black and white tiles.

I washed my clothes first as they were the cleanest, and then the children's, and then went to do Daryl's, which were encrusted with thick brown and black gunk.

I emptied all of his pockets to find his red rag, a few balls of lint, a piece of dried jerky, a ball of string, a lighter, a list of shopping supplies and a packet of cigarettes. He had run out of his last pack of cigarettes a couple of days ago. They had been the Virginia slims he had picked up from Austin's house, that he said his own mother used to smoke. This pack was like the ones he had before; The Marlboro lights. He had smoked his last one over a month ago I was sure. I opened it up to see it wasn't empty. There were still two cigarettes left, and I wondered why he had complained about smoking girl's cigarettes if he still had two of his other ones left. I examined them closer. They were different from regular cigarettes, thicker and hand rolled. I took one out to examine it and have a smell.

It wasn't a cigarette at all. It was one of the…what did people call them? Joints. The one's I told him I didn't want to smoke back at the motel. Had he kept them all this time? I thought he had thrown them away; at least that is what he had led me to believe. Was this why he had been so guarded about his clothing? And why was he keeping secrets from me anyway?

I put them back in the packet and tucked the pack inside my shirt. We would have a talk about it when he got home.

I hung the clothes up on the strings I had tied to the steel posts supporting the courtyard canopy, and then collected my crossbow for some target practice.

The practice wasn't so much for hitting targets, as all I had to practice on was a cross on the tree, chipped away by arrow holes. There wasn't any challenge hitting stationary targets, but the only thing we had around that moved was the odd walker, and we saw them so rarely.

I used the time to practice stringing the bow. Although I felt safe within these walls, Daryl was always insisting I work on the speed that I used it in-case there came a time when I needed it. I was getting much better at it now, and it was only taking me a few seconds to string it between shots, although it still strained my muscles and tore against the soft skin on my hands, and I was sure my arms would be as solid as Daryl's one day soon.

When the kids had finished their chores we went into the classroom to do their daily lessons. The younger kids had been reading a book, and drawing their favourite character, and the older kids had been working on good and bad stereotypes in movies. Daryl thought it was a waste of time teaching the kids English. He said it wasn't like they were going to become professors or anything anyway, but I insisted. I hoped that one day the world would need educated young people, once again.

I was kneeling by Marie's desk helping with her work when Winnie came up to me and presented me with a crayon drawing of a stick figure woman with a pink triangular dress and waving yellow hair.

"I drew you momma." She called in her small, soft voice, waiting for approval.

The children all stopped what they were doing and looked to Winnie, looking shocked at her sudden ability to speak, and also at what she had said.

"She's not your momma, Winnie." Her brother, Tommy C, called from behind me as he looked over my shoulder at the drawing, and then glanced at me warily.

"It's okay…she can call me that…if she wants."

"I want to call you momma too." Cried Lyra.

"Me too." Came a staggered chorus of voices, and I suddenly felt overwhelmed. Daryl would be mortified with me.

"I ain't callin' you momma." Came Daryl's voice right out of Austin's mouth.

I looked over to the boy who was holding the pencil in his hand to his paper and frowning at me.

"You don't have to…I just thought…"

We were interrupted by a tap at the door, and by Daryl seen through the glass pane with a big smile upon his grime covered face, and dangling a grey furred rabbit in the air.

Welcoming the interruption I went over and opened the door for him. He lifted the rope over his shoulder to show two more rabbits strung by the neck.

"Spring rabbits." He beamed. "Who wants to help me skin 'em." He called to the children.

"Me!" Called Austin, throwing his pencil to his desk and kicking his chair out.

"No you need to finish your work." I told him firmly. He ignored me and pushed past me out the door to stand behind Daryl.

"Outdoor cat." Daryl said with a shrug, and they both walked off down the corridor, and out of sight.

* * *

 

Later that night after a warm rabbit and vegetable stew seasoned with fresh herbs, I tucked the kids into bed, while Daryl did a perimeter check with Mix. I went downstairs for a quick shower before bed, and to wash my hair after an afternoon of digging through the vegetable garden.

When I got back upstairs to the darkened principal's office, lit only with moonlight, I flicked on the desk lamp illuminating the room with warmth, and rehearsed in my head what I was going to say to Daryl about the…joints, when he got back.

He had clearly kept them secret from me, which I didn't like. But he also hadn't smoked them. Maybe he was saving them for something. Maybe he thought he might convince me to smoke them with him one day. I didn't ever think I would, but once upon a time alcohol had helped me to let go of my worries, and it had opened up my relationship with Daryl. Maybe he did save them for a purpose after all. Maybe this was what I needed to let go of my fears and inhibitions.

My thoughts slipped to the flask of whiskey in the lockbox. I had more experience with alcohol. Maybe that was what I needed to give me the confidence I needed I talk to him, and maybe to do other things with him too. I went to the box and pulled out the flask and opened it to smell the contents once more, and screwed up my nose at the harsh smelling liquor.

At that moment Daryl walked in and I shoved the lockbox back in the cabinet and closed it, before turning to him holding the flask behind my back.

"Man I'm beat." Daryl groaned as he dropped himself down on the arm of the sofa and pulled off his mud encrusted boots, which crumbled dirt on to the rug.

He pulled off the baggy torn sweat pants he had worn as a replacement to his jeans and kicked them into the corner of the room, and then tore off the black rocker tee, he had used as a replacement to his flannel.

"Hey, you wash my clothes yet?" He asked as he pulled on his sleeping sweats.

"I sure did." I replied in a reserved tone.

He furrowed his brow, and looked towards my arms that were bent behind my back.

"Somethin' the matter?"

I pulled out the flask and held it in front of my face to examine it.

"Let's play a game." I said.

"What is that?" He asked stepping towards me.

I backed away.

"I think it's whiskey."

"You wanna get drunk?" He asked with an amused chuckle.

"Maybe." I said with a shrug. "Let's play….I never."

I held the flask up between the two of us in a mock toast.

"I dunno, Beth, we gotta keep our heads in-case…"

"I've never…" I interrupted. "Masturbated in the shower." I smirked at him and then took a swig. The taste was a little like molasses and it burnt my throat as it went down, and caused immediate warmth in my belly.

"I don't think that's how it's done." Daryl said with a chuckle, before reaching forward to grab the flask. I ducked out of his reach again.

"I've never…shot myself with an arrow." I took another swig.

"Hey, that ain't fair, smartass." Daryl said in a tone of false offense. "It was your darn ponies fault… and that's not how you play."

"I've never…broken into a school so I could steal stuff to make drugs."

The smile on Daryl's face fell and he glowered at me.

Watching him intensely I took another swig without letting my eyes leave his. I strolled around him and paced casually over to the other side of the room turning my back to him.

"I've never spent a whole day 'hunting'." I made quote marks in the air. "And come back empty handed and covered in blood." I took another swig and then turned back to face him. I was already starting to feel warm from the whiskey and my face was burning and my hands and feet were throbbing.

"I've never kept somethin' from you." I tipped the flask into my mouth and swallowed the last drop. Then I turned it upside down and gave it a shake so a few drops came out and landed on the floor rug.

"Oops, it's all gone, and you haven't had your turn yet." I tossed the flask over my shoulder, and heard it thud somewhere behind me.

"Beth, what's this all about…"

I held up my finger to silence him and then pulled the Marlboro packet out of my sweater. He glanced at it and then groaned and pressed his hands to his head, pointing his elbows to the side.

"I meant to tell you…"

"I've never…" I interrupted, while pulling out a…Joint. "Been…" I racked my brain for the right word. "…stoned."

Daryl dropped his arms to his side and slumped over guiltily while looking up at me with a frown on his face.

"Do you have a lighter?" I asked as I placed the joint between my lips.

I watched in delight as a smile slowly crept on to Daryl's face as he straightened out in front of me.

"You wanna get stoned?"

I shrugged. "Why not?"

Daryl reached forward and snatched it out of my mouth, and then turned back to the sofa. He sifted through the pocket in the sweat pants he had worn that day and pulled out a lighter and then casually lay across the sofa and put the joint in his mouth

"Come over 'ere girl." He mumbled with his lips around the joint, while waving me over and then lighting it.

I sauntered over to him, feeling a little light headed and unsteady on my feet, and climbed on to the sofa across from his and sat cross legged, watching as his cheeks hollowed out as he sucked on the joint. He took the joint out and held his fist to his lips, while giving a little choking sound as if he was trying to hold n a laugh. Then he blew out a stream of smoke slowly into the air.

"Ain't too bad for three year old shit." He commented.

He sat up and then held the joint towards my mouth. I put my lips warily around the end of it, feeling like a complete novice.

"You gotta inhale it…not suck it." He advised me. "And try to hold it in for a lil'."

He re-lit it and then waved for me to continue.

I did as I was told inhaling deeply and then choking as the smoke filled my lungs. I spat it straight out and started coughing and spluttering, while scratching at my burning throat and gasping for air.

"That's…awful." I choked out between coughs.

Daryl chortled at me while he went searching for a bottle of water and threw it my way before joining me back on the sofa bed. I gulped down the water, letting the cool sensation relive the burning itch.

"You're a lil' green, Greene." Daryl chuckled to himself. "Here try again." He held it towards my lips.

"Aren't you gonna have some more?" I asked

"Nah, I can't get high, girl. I gotta take care of you. You already been drinkin', wouldn't be much of a chaperone now would I?"

I shrugged my shoulder and took the joint to my lips again. This time I tried to withhold my coughs and held the smoke in while I puffed out my cheeks.

Daryl threw his head back and laughed up at the celling, his whole body trembling in amusement.

"You look like a blonde chimpanzee." He looked back at me, with a dopey grin on his face.

I blew out the smoke and gave another cough.

"Shuddup." I cried playfully. "You have another now."

My hands were starting to feel all tingly, and my face felt really heavy, and I wondered if I was drunk, or stoned or both.

Daryl took another small puff, and then put it back to my lips, and I inhaled deeply. I blew it out and took another swig of the water to sooth my throat and then looked to Daryl's grinning face.

"You're a motherfuckin' stoner lil' Miss Greene."

I shrugged, and feeling happy and relaxed, I opened my mouth waiting for him to hit me with it again.

"Nah, girl that shits pretty strong. Best save it for another night, hey?"

I shook my head. "One night only. After tonight I'm throwin' it."

Daryl looked hesitant, but shrugged his shoulders anyway, and held it out for me.

"Okay one more."

I took another puff and then Daryl leaned over the side of the sofa and put the joint out using the bottom of his boot.

"How you feelin'?" He asked when he had returned to his position sitting across from me.

"I feel…warm…and happy…and like laughing at something stupid." I started giggling at my own words, somehow finding them hilarious.

"I think I might be a little bit drunk."

Daryl frowned. "Yep, thinkin' I might have my work cut out for me tonight."

I suddenly found the courage to ask him something that had been on my mind since when we had first arrived at the school.

"The drugs that you said you could make with the stuff from the chemistry lab… Did you take them?"

Daryl flicked his eyes towards me and then looked down at his crossed legs and gave his shoulders a shrug.

"I ain't gonna lie, I tried just 'bout everythin' once. But Merle started runnin' the shit when I was still a kid. I saw 'nough fucked up users to know not to get hooked on nothin'. I had a bit of E, and smoked a bit o' crystal after Merle gave me a hard time and I was bein' too much of a pussy to stand up for myself. I tried shrooms and acid, just 'cause I wanted to know if I would see walkin' eyeballs or some shit. Had a weekend bender on blow that didn't end too great. Knew not to go there again. Never ever did no mothafuckin' smack, and if Merle ever touched the shit I woulda beat his dumbass down. My only real poison was Mary and Moonshine."

I had no idea what he was talking about, but I liked the sound of his last line.

"Mary and Moonshine." I repeated enjoying how the alliteration rolled off my tongue and then giggling at the sound of my own voice.

"You know that song…the one that goes. _I'm in love with Mary Jane…she's my main thing_." I sang the lyrics for him.

"Yeah I think I know the one."

"That's not about him bein' in love with a girl is it?"

Daryl chuckled. "If a song has Mary-Jane in it, then it's probably not about a girl named Mary-Jane."

I searched my brain thinking of all the songs I had heard that mentioned Mary-Jane, and laughed at the sheer volume that came to mind.

"Gee, a lot of people smoke drugs, hey?"

"I told ya. It's no drug. The government fills your head with bullshit. Control the masses and all that other shit."

"I think it was the government."

"You do?"

"Yeah. The government made us all sick."

Daryl threw his head back and brayed like a donkey.

"Greene, you're as high as a mothafuckin' kite on helium." He wiped away tears from his eyes.

"No I'm not. I just see things clearer now."

Daryl sniggered.

"Okay I'll hear you out. Why did the government make us all sick?"

"They wanted to make super humans who couldn't be killed… and send them off to war."

"This is fuckin' hilarious." Daryl continued to laugh at me batting his hands against his knees, with tears streaming down his face.

"No I'm serious! I know they can do that, I know they have biochemical weapons and stuff."

Daryl sighed and made feeble attempts at controlling his laughter.

"Okay, so if our government was usin' this weapon to fight in wars, then why is it destroyin' the country they're tryna protect?"

I shrugged.

"It was a mistake. They just wanted to test it on a small area. Like at Roswell or somethin', and it got out of hand."

"Where the aliens are?"

"Yeah they must have tested it on aliens and it mutated or somethin' and now instead of making us stronger it just makes us fall apart and makes us real, real hungry, like we have to eat brains and stuff."

Daryl chuckled and shook his head.

"Okay you're ruinin' my buzz now, girl. Let's change the subject."

I tried to think of another subject, but my clouded head was still on walkers.

"Walkers is such a dumb name."

"Whatya prefer, Geeks?"

"No that's stupid too. And so is biters, and freaks, and rotters…we should call them…zzz" I chuckled as the sound vibrated my tongue. "zzzz….zombies!"

"Zombie's? Now _that_ is a dumbass name."

"Yeah, let's call 'em zombies…." I held my hands out in front of me and rolled my eyes back into my head. "braaaaaaiinsss."

Daryl started laughing at me again, his face bright red and tears forming in his eyes again.

"Too bad this is one night only, Greene. People would pay a pretty penny to see this shit."

I smiled at him, thinking how this was the most I had ever seen him laugh before, and then I started rubbing my belly as my thoughts slipped back to hungry walkers looking for brains. Although I would prefer something more tasty than brains. Something crunchy and cheesy.

"I'm real hungry…have we got any Cheetos?"

Daryl chuckled. "Fresh out of Cheetos, Greene."

"Let's go to the store they'll have some." I started pulling myself off the couch and Daryl grabbed me by the sweater and dragged me back down.

"Already cleaned out the store, and no Cheetos."

I wriggled out of Daryl's grip, pulled myself off the sofa and walked over to the map on the principal's desk, and looked it over.

"How about we go here? They might have Cheetos." I said, pointing to the nearest town.

Daryl sighed and shook his head condescendingly.

"I will find you some motherfuckin' cheese balls tomorrow. We're not goin' nowhere now."

I stomped my heavy legs back over to the sofa s and started tugging at Daryl's arm trying to get him up.

"But I really, really want some now…" I whined. "C'mon we won't be gone long the kids will be alright." His large heavy body was not budging from that sofa.

"Greene, We are _not_ getting Cheetos." He said it firmly but with a gentle smile on his lips. "Why can't we just sit 'ere and chill?" He patted on the sofa across from him, indicating where he wanted me to sit. I turned and walked towards the door.

"Where you goin'?" He asked with an impatient sigh.

"I'mma go to the art room and paint me some Cheetos."

"You're gonna… _eat_ …paper Cheetos?" Daryl started laughing at me again. What did he think I was, insane?

"No I just want to look at them. I forgot what they looked like."

Daryl crawled off the sofa and walked over to me, shaking his head and chuckling.

"What the hell was in that whisky? And why can't you just stay put?" He grabbed my wrist and started dragging me back to our bed.

He left me by the sofas and then rummaged around in his bag and threw me a brown coloured plastic jar.

"Have some peanut butter, might take the edge off the Cheeto cravin'."

The peanut butter looked delicious in its untouched jar, gleaming in the warm lamp light, so I jumped on to the sofa, sat cross legged and opened the jar and started scooping the peanut butter into my mouth using my fingers.

"Mmmm this PB is so sticky and crunchy" I mumbled, while I flicked my tongue around in my mouth, enjoying the flavour and texture. "It's all stuck to my mouth" I scooped my tongue against the roof of my mouth and then I licked what was left on my fingers, and Daryl watched me with his blue eyes suddenly serious and focused.

"It's the most delicious PB I've ever had." I added, while I stared into his face mesmerized by his beauty.

"Lemme have some of that PB." He said, grabbing at my hand. I scooped up another lot with two fingers and then put them into his waiting open mouth, and he pressed his lips around my fingers and wrapped his warm, moist tongue around them, suckling every last bit of peanut butter off.

He pulled my hand back and my fingers left his mouth with a wet pop.

"You got some on your…" He put his thumb to the corner of my mouth and started rubbing gently across, pulling my lip out as he moved.

I put my hand to his to still it. "Your hands… They're so rough…and warm." I gently turned his palm and kissed the tips of his fingers.

I ran my eyes over his dark hair falling around his face, over his cool blue eyes that acted as windows to his guarded soul, to the fine lines that creased the skin by his eyes, then over his defined cheek bones, to the mole above the corner of his mouth, and to the greying hair that grew above his lip and over his chin.

"I want to kiss you." I breathed. My body suddenly overwhelmed with quivering and pulsating desire.

"I ain't gonna stop you."

I leant forward and pushed my lips cautiously in to his, as if I had never kissed him before. I drew away and licked off some of the peanut butter residue, which had come from both his mouth and mine.

"Your lips are so cushy, they feel like…pillows of air." I kissed him again, this time lingering a little longer. "I feel like I could be suffocated in them." I mumbled.

He gave a soft chuckle, into my mouth and I kissed him again, letting my tongue edge carefully into his mouth, absorbing the sensation the warmth and wetness of his lips and how they fitted so perfectly against mine. I put my hands to his bare shoulders and started rubbing my hands down each of his arms.

"…and your muscles are so hard… I can feel them under your skin…. I can feel every fibre rollin' under my hands." I murmured against his lips.

I trailed my fingers down to his hands and then tucked them under his palms so I could interlock my fingers with his.

I pulled away from his face, and looked into his eyes. "What does it feel like to have sex when you're on drugs?"

Daryl took a shallow breath and his fingers twitched in mine.

"It depends on the drug. Some put you right on edge… feelin' like the smallest touch will push you over, and you'll jus' land in a pool of…ecstasy."

My body trembled as I thought of how that must feel.

"Some you barely have the energy to fuck…but if you manage to do it, It's pretty intense."

I chewed on my lip anxiously. My blood was coursing hotly through my veins. My heart was thumping in my chest. My quivering sensitive parts were screaming to be touched.

"I think…I want to feel that." I released my hands from his and wrapped my arms around his shoulders while I pulled him, by the back of the head, in to kiss me. He put his hands to my shoulder and stilled me with my face just in font of his, our noses touching, our eyes staring. He swallowed deeply.

"Are you sure you wanna do that?" He breathed.

"Yesss." I hissed eagerly before forcing my mouth over his, and drawing him in to my body.

His hands moved from my shoulders, under my arms and to my back, and he kneaded them against my back as he made his was down towards my backside. He flipped them under the hem of my sweater, and ran them over my soft tingling skin. His hands felt hot and hard as they pushed against me, tugging me into his strong, secure and warm embrace.

His tongue, still sweet with the taste of peanut butter, rolled through my mouth, exploring every corner, as my tongue danced in his. His rough lips closed around mine, and he drew them into his mouth. Sucking, and licking, and nipping at them with his teeth.

His hands dragged up my back, pulling along my sweater, and he slipped it over my head and then tossed it to the floor.

His mouth went back to mine, as his burning fingers made their way to my nipples and squeezed them, twisted them and tweaked them, while massaging the flesh on my breasts, with the heal of his hand. I let out a loud moan into his mouth as the nerves between my legs, shuddered and twitched and sang.

"I need you now!" I called urgently, overwhelmed with desire.

He pulled away from me and tugged off his pants in a single lightning fast movement and threw them to the floor. Then he pushed me down on to the sofa by my shoulders, and began pressing wet kisses against the skin on my chest. His mouth moved to my nipple and he swirled his tongue over it, causing me to throw my head back and moan, as I was overwhelmed with an intense whole body shuddering.

"No…do it now." I groaned, not wanting to play around anymore.

His eyes flicked up at me and he gave me smirk that sent a jolt through my entire body, and I thought I would lose myself and explode right there and then just by him looking at me. He grabbed at the band of my panties on my hips with both hands and tugged them down, sliding the sodden fabric over my thighs.

Then he positioned himself above me and held his erection mere inches away, while my warm, wet and trembling opening was begging for him to enter.

"You sure you're okay?" He asked while taking deep anticipatory breathes.

"Yes." I cried as I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled him into me firmly.

We both groaned in ecstasy as out parts finally met. He forced his way through my aroused, tight muscles, which felt like they had never been stretched before. He cussed under his breath, while I threw my head back, squeezed my eyes shut, and continued to moan as wave upon wave of heat took over my body.

He started moving himself within me slowly and deliberately. He would push himself all the way until his pubic area ground against my sweet spot, and he was touching my innermost depths, and then he would draw out of me, until my channel was lamenting over its loss.

He continued this over and over, while I writhed and moaned and begged him to give it to me harder. He drew me tight into his chest, while he ran his hands over my back and sides, pressing and tugging and pulling at my skin. He kissed me along my neck and throat and then moved to my ear and chewed delicately on my lobe.

"I love you, girl." He whispered into my ear, and I felt another orgasm take hold of my body as a wave of ecstatic emotions flooded through my body.

"I love you too." I breathed, once I had regained control of my voice.

Grasping my backside firmly with one hand, he held me firmly against his hips and then began plunging into me, pounding against my throbbing pearl, and causing me to convulse and clamp around the length of him. I squeezed my trembling thighs against his backside, and rolled and gyrated my hips to meet with his thrusts, until my pelvis ached and my wet areas where nothing but a quivering mess of exhausted nerves.

He gave me one forceful thrust, while pulling my hips towards him, and I could feel him pulsating deep inside of me, while he let out a long groan. I could feel every inch of him convulsing within me, every vein and curve and bend and bulge, and I could feel the warm liquid spurting, warming me from the inside out. His trembling body collapsed on top of me, and I pulled down on his back, pushing our bodies together so they felt as one. I listened to the echoing sound of our breaths, and felt the thumping of our hearts as they synchronised, and slowed.

I danced my fingers over his sweat covered backside, and then on to his back and over his shoulders, twirling tiny circles on his flaming skin. Until the sound of his breathing was so slow and deep and regular I knew he has fallen asleep on top of me.

"Daryl?" I whispered.

He twitched a little and groaned.

"Beth?" He mumbled.

"We forgot to use a condom." I whispered.

Daryl caught his breathe, then pulled himself carefully away from and out of me, examining the extra wetness on my thighs as he exited.

He rubbed his eyes and covered his face with both hands.

"Fuck." He groaned into his palms.

"It's okay." I said as I tugged his hands away from his face. "It doesn't matter."

"It does matter." He said firmly, while holding my gaze. "Got too many kids as it is." He chuckled nervously.

I shook my head.

"No. What matters is…I feel better."

He managed a weak smile, and then tugged at the sheet that was under his knees and held it towards me.

"Just stand up and jump 'round a lil'." He suggested with a sly grin.

I took the sheet and dragged it off the sofa with me as I climbed off. I held the sheet between my legs and jumped as instructed allowing some of the fluid to leave me. I wiped along my thighs trying to clean up as much as possible and then looked up at Daryl who had his face pushed against the arm of the sofa, watching me with heavy eyes.

"Are you tired?" I asked.

"Yeah a lil'." He mumbled.

I strolled over and kissed him on the top of his head.

"You get back to sleep. I feel like writin'."

He didn't even reply. When I stepped away from him, his eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily, lost in sleep already. I took up my journal and began scribbling some of the words that were going through my head, feeling a sudden rush of creative energy.

When I had finished, I began humming the tune to the song while I thought the words over in my head. Then I took up my guitar and shook Daryl awake.

He groaned and then squinted up at me.

"I think I've finished my song now…"

He crossed his arms in front of him and rested his chin on his wrists.

"Let's hear it."

I perched my naked behind down on the sofa arm beside him and began strumming out my tune.

_I'm a little bit drunk_   
_You're a little bit stoned_   
_I'm a little bit restless_   
_We're both…alone tonight, to-nigh-igh-ight_

_A stumble in the dark, a whisper in my…ear_   
_I'm biting on my nails_   
_and waiting for you to get here, tonight, to-nigh-igh-ight_

_Forget the pastwe've had, forget the pain we've lived_   
_Oh you and I are experts at pretending to be kids_   
_Wash off all your grass stains, I'll pull off my shoes_   
_Let's love like we are kids …all shiny and new_

_Babies have wrinkles and scars and tear stains_   
_They're not afraid to cry when they're in pain_   
_Babies and us could be the same_

_I'll tell you all my troubles_   
_Just clear out my head_   
_And lets play hide and seek upon the bed_

_Forget the day we've had, forget the pain we've lived_   
_Oh… you and I are experts at pretending to be kids_   
_Wash off all your grass stains, I'll pull off my shoes_   
_Let's love like we are kids…all shiny and new_

_Chutes and ladders, game of chess_   
_Connect the dots upon my neck_   
_Climb the stairs, and take a chance_   
_Pretend we're at some high school dance_   
_The night will last and last and last_

_And kiss me though I'm not sure  
leave my questions, it's like…_   
_I've never done …this… before_

_Forget the past we've had, forget the pain we've lived_   
_Oh you and I are experts at pretending to be kids_   
_Wash off all your grass stains, I'll pull off my shoes_   
_Let's love like we are kids… all shiny and new_

I turned to my side and peeped over my guitar to see that he was now staring at me with eyes wide and alert.

"What do you think?"

"I'm thinkin'…"He took the guitar from my hands and placed it on the ground by my feet. "…That the night will last…and last…and last."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you go. Beth has overcome her fear and we can get back to the raunchy sex scenes. I enjoyed writing this chapter. It was a lovely, heart warming, funny chapter, before I drag them through hell in the next one :)
> 
> I haven't been stoned since I was like 16, so I hope I portayed it well enough.
> 
> I have noticed this part of the story is pretty low on reviews and kudos. So either it really sucks, or everyone is reading it on ffnet instead. I might start to only post it there from now on...


	6. Nobody's Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I ain't nobody's bitch." ~ Daryl Dixon

I fucking loved eating Beth's peach. She tasted fucking fantastic. The moans and sighs and small sounds she made sent my head spinning. The way she moved her hips and tugged at my hair drove me wild. I could do it for hours on end, if my tongue didn't start to ache, and if I didn't need to have a piss.

I wiped my hand through the hair on my chin that was heavy with slick, sweet smelling, and sweet tasting moisture and I licked what was left off my lips savouring the lingering flavour. I shifted my arms from where they were wrapped around her thighs, and pulled myself forward so I could rest my chin on her belly and look up at her tits as they rose and fell with her staggered shallow breaths.

Beth lifted her head from where it had been hanging off the sofa arm and looked down on me with her big round blues. Her cheeks were flushed and curls of her blonde hair were matted to her forehead among beads of sweet. Her tongue flicked across her fine pink lips and she swallowed gently.

"Come here." She urged with a sly grin, as she leaned forward and started tugging on my arms.

I submitted to her pulling and crawled myself forward and planted a kiss on her waiting lips. She slipped her small hand around my cock and gave it a firm squeeze.

"That actually ain't for you." I said with a chuckle.

"Huh?"

I guess she wouldn't understand the morning mechanics of a man.

"I can give it to you for a bit, but nothin's gonna happen. I really need to take a piss."

She released my cock letting it flick back against my guts.

"Never mind. The moments lost." She said with a sigh.

I chuckled and then gave her another kiss, holding her lips between mine for a few seconds, wondering if she would still be able to taste herself.

"Promise I'll get you again tonight." I said as I pulled away from her.

The woman was a slave driver; I had given it to her at least twice a night for the past few nights, trying to make up for the weeks we had lost before that. She was always begging me for more. But a man's gotta take time out to rest and replenish. Plus we were just about out of rubbers again. And I really did need to take a piss.

I crawled off the sofa and stepped into my jeans that were crumpled on the floor, and hefted them up over my hips and did the belt up. I looked back to Beth who was lying on her belly on the couch, with her legs kicked up behind her swaying gently from side to side, with her toes curling just like they had a few moments earlier. Her heart-shaped face was propped on her hands, and her blonde hair curled down over her bare shoulders, and fell to the side of her tits. She looked like a motherfucking goddess.

"Actually, I'll get you when I get back." I grinned at her, and she gave me a sheepish smile before dropping her head back down on to the arm of the sofa, and rolling on to her back.

I tore my eyes away from her and headed for the office door.

* * *

I was grinning to myself like an idiot and not paying attention to where I was walking as I stepped through the door. I stood on something warm and bumpy that gave a yelp when I put my full weight on it.

I looked down to see Austin rubbing at the fingers I had trodden on.

I quickly closed the door behind me, hoping he didn't get a glimpse of Beth sprawled over the sofa in all her naked glory.

"How long you been sittin' there for?"

Austin looked up at me with his cool blue eyes, wide open, and haunted.

"Were you..." He swallowed in an anxious kind of way. "Hurting her?"

Fuck. How much had he heard? I felt my face grow hot thinking about how I was going to explain it to the kid. I certainly couldn't have him thinking I had been hurting her in there.

"Umm…No…she's right….we were…"

Austin's expression quickly changed from distraught to amused.

"I'm just messin' with ya, I know what you were doing." He chuckled and gave his head a gentle toss, and then pulled himself to his feet, leaning on the wall for support.

"You do?"

"Yeah I lived in a room with like a hundred adults for nearly two years. You think they didn't have sex?"

I crossed my arms defensively over my chest, not sure whether to laugh with him or give him a clip behind the ear.

"Alright you little pervert; Why ya hangin' 'bout our room anyway?"

Austin bounced up and down on his toes excitedly.

"You're goin' huntin' today right?"

"…right."

"And I did really good last week, right? When we went to the school?"

"Yeah. You did good kid."

"So you think I could come with you today?"

I glanced back to the obscure glass panel in the principal's office door.

"You're gonna have to run that by Beth. She's the boss, I just work 'ere."

"C'mon, you know she'll say no. You need to make her say yes. Tell her you need me or somethin'."

I didn't need anyone to go hunting, and certainly not a little kid. But he had proven himself to be useful, and I actually didn't mind being around him at times. He was a smart ass, with a cool sense of humour. I really liked the kid.

"Alright kid, I'll talk to her." I put my hand to his shoulder and shifted him out of my path.

"Now move aside and lemme take my mornin' piss."

* * *

When I came back upstairs to pack up my gear I found Beth fully dressed and perched up on the principals desk holding my camera in her hands and eyeing it over.

"You're dressed."

She glanced up at me and then back down to the camera. "Yeah I am."

"Thought you wanted me to finish you off?"

Her lips curled into a smile, and she peered up at me slyly.

"I did. But you took too long, and I got bored."

"Bored huh?" I smirked at her and then walked around the room collecting the clothes that had been thrown about last night when Beth had been ripping them off me without a care for her usual need of cleanliness and order.

"You know I sang you my song." Beth began passing my camera from hand to hand, turning it around slowly.

"Yeah you did. It was real sweet. Real sexy. I never woulda thought a song about kids could be so sexy."

Beth blushed and drew her shoulders to her ears, looking like she was somehow embarrassed by her skills in music and being sexy.

"So…can I see your pics?"

"You ain't seen 'em yet?" I nodded to the camera in her hands, and then pulled my flannel over my head.

"No. You said you would show me when you were ready…so I waited."

I dropped my face to my buttons while I did them up, still feeling a little uncomfortable about Beth seeing them. "…I dunno."

"Don't _I dunno_ , can I or can't I?"

I shrugged my shoulders, and Beth chuckled softly at me

"Do you think I'll make fun of you or somethin'?"

"…Maybe."

"Don't be silly. Let me have a look at them. Pleeeease" She batted the lashes of her big blues at me. I couldn't say no to those eyes.

"Well it's in your hands so might as well."

I heard the digital chiming of the camera turning on, and then the whirring of the lens as it adjusted. I walked up behind her to look at the pictures as she did.

The first few pics were simple ones. Most of them were of her playing with the kids, or digging in the garden. A few of her smiling and posing, some of her sleeping; She grinned up at me when she saw those. Then there were some of the kids and Mix, some of the woodland surrounding the school. Some of flowers, unkempt buildings and tree canopies.

I felt a wave of anxiety wash over me when she got to the next part.

"Oh my…gosh." She glanced up at me with her brows furrowed in what looked like disgust…or fear...or anger.

"Oh dear lord!" She cried again.

"See, that's why I didn't wanna show you." I tried to snatch the camera out of her grip, but she ducked out of my reach and stepping away from the office desk.

"No…No, I'm still looking…just most of these are of walkers and…Daryl!"

She held the screen up for me to show that she was looking at a pic I had taken of a large group of walkers I had found that were somehow walking in a perfect line. It was one of my favourites.

"Daryl, this is so dangerous, these pictures are so close!" She kept flicking through them. I knew there were more than one in there of a walkers gnashing jaws about to grind against the lens piece.

"I'm still here ain't I?"

"But why?…Why do you have so many pictures of walkers?"

"I dunno…I kind of wanted to capture the person…behind all the blood, and rot and stench. They always look kinda lost and sad. It's…"

She was staring at me, the irises of her eyes shrinking as her pupils dilated.

"Daryl…that is beautiful."

"Really? I think they're kinda gross looking."

Beth looked back to the screen.

"They are. But what you're trying to capture is beautiful. You remembered these things were people before all this." She smiled to herself, repeating a line she had said to me not all that long ago.

"Yeah I guess. It's somethin' you taught me."

"No. It's something you taught yourself. You don't need anyone for anythin'." She teased.

"Like hell I don't." I said, as I dragged her in and wrapped my arm around her tiny, soft shoulders, and reached for the camera with my free hand.

I crooked my neck and placed a warm, wet, lingering kiss on to her lips and then drew back to look into her eyes.

"You know I still need to get some photos of you." I raised an eyebrow suggestively.

"You have plenty of photos of me."

She obviously didn't get what I was suggesting.

"Nah. I mean somethin' special." I trailed my hand over her shoulder and down her chest and rested it on her tit. "Somethin' to keep me warm, when I'm out there on my own huntin'."

She giggled at me, most likely realising what I was getting at.

"I can't do that!"

I ran my fingers down her tee and tucked them into the waist of her jeans.

"C'mon, girl, no-ones gonna see 'em but me."

She pulled away from my hands and took a step back.

"One of my friends in high school, Sarah McKay, she let a boy take dirty pics of her, and they ended up all over the internet."

I couldn't help but laugh at what she was implying.

"Well there ain't no internets, so you don't needa be worryin' 'bout that do you"

She tossed her pale gold locks around her shoulders.

"I don't think I can Daryl. That's so…wanton. I'm not a wanton person."

"Like hell you ain't, girl. You ain't given me no rest since the night you turned into a stoner."

Beth flushed red before me, and I couldn't help but think of making her come again so she stayed that way.

"Well maybe I need some time to think on takin' that kinda risk again, just like with those… joints."

I kissed her smirking lips.

"Speakin' of risk, Awse really wants to come with me today."

"Huntin'?"

"Yeah…so can he?"

She chuckled. "Why're you askin' me? You're as responsible for him as I am."

"Well you're always naggin' the poor kid to do his lessons and what not."

Beth rubbed her hands along the collar of my flannel.

"I think that boy will learn more from you than he ever could from me."

She wasn't wrong there. The kid certainly wasn't an academic; he liked sun and sweat and dirt. Just like I did at his age.

"In fact." Beth pulled away from me and walked over to the oak cabinet underneath the aerial picture of the school. She picked up her Stryker that she had been leaving there.

"You should teach him how to use your crossbow."

" _Your_ crossbow." I corrected

" _Our_ crossbow." She pressed it into my arms.

"The kids not gonna be able to use the thing, you barely could, I know I like to tease ya that you aren't, but you're stronger than a twelve year old boy."

"He doesn't have to use it properly, Daryl, just let him pull the trigger, let him feel strong and special."

I didn't know from any personal experience, but I guessed it was important for twelve year old boys to feel strong and special.

* * *

I took Austin and Mix about an hour out of the town to go hunting. I had passed through the area before and it was rich with game, being so far away from the towns.

Austin's eyes had lit up when I handed the Stryker to him, even though he nearly collapsed under the weight of the thing. Mix looked up at me with eyes that asked _'what the hell are you doing?'_

"This is so cool." Austin said rubbing his hand over the limbs.

"Why don't you try drawin' it." I said with a smirk, thinking of the first time Beth tried to draw it

The kid must have been watching Beth as he knew where to put his foot and where to tug it. But just like on her first time, his little arms jiggled, as he tugged and strained, and his hands and face turned a shade of crimson.

"That's really hard! It must even be hard for Beth. How did she end up with somethin' like this?"

"Used to be mine." I took the bow of him and drew the string back into the latch and loaded a bolt for him. "I gave it to her."

I handed the bow back to him, and he looked it over again.

"Why did you give it to her? I mean, it's pretty cool. Even cooler than your bow." He pointed to the Airborne on my back.

"I don't know…I guess I wanted her to have somethin' from me. Somethin' that mattered."

"Is it really important?"

"Yeah. That thing was like my best buddy for a long time. I never let no-one touch her that I didn't care about." I looked over the boy, and gave him a smile. "And I think Beth feels the same way about it now."

Understanding my meaning Austin blushed and looked to his joggers.

"I like Beth too. She's real nice. I don't mean to be a smart ass to her all the time, that's just the way I had to be…you know, because of everything that happened."

"Yeah I know." I gave the kid a chuck on the shoulder. "Don't you worry 'bout Beth, she has plenty of experience dealin' with smart asses." I winked at the kid and he gleamed up at me.

The kid was a smart-ass, but even I cared about him. I turned away from his smile, feeling awkward about all the sentimental feelings I was having and moved behind him so I could help him to raise the Stryker and get it into position.

"Now you put your hand here." I moved his left hand to the grip. "And your other hand goes on the trigger. "He tried shifting the bow around so that he could reach the grip with the butt of the stock in his shoulder, and ended up settling with his elbow poking out in the air at an awkward angle.

"Do I look like a bad-ass?" He asked glancing up at me.

He looked like a cat playing a fiddle.

"Yeah kid, you look bad-ass."

"Can I shoot it?"

"You wanna find something to shoot at first?"

"Aww heck, no. This thing is heavy. I just wanna shoot it once, and then we can leave it. I'll just help you track or somethin'."

"You know how to track?"

His wobbling arms gave way and he dropped the bow down with a sigh.

"Yeah. My Grandpa used to take me hunting sometimes…with my dad."

My Grandpa took me out once or twice when I was a kid too. He was as much of an ass as my dad was. It was like hell sharing a tent with the pair.

I focused on a large oak tree, trying to shake the memory.

"Okay kid. Take a shot at that tree over there." I pointed at the tree.

The kid lifted the bow again with a grunt, held it in to place, squinted down the sight and pulled the trigger. The bolt flew out and hit the trunk of the tree dead centre.

"You're a natural." I said as I took the bow out of his hands. "Just gotta build up that strength and you'll be a mini…" My words trailed off as I realised what I was about to say.

"You'll be real good."

I took the Stryker back to the bike that was tucked in hidden behind a bush, and hung it over the handle bars, and then walked back through the trees to see if we could pick up on a trail.

Mix and Austin went ahead, while I kept watch from behind, keeping an eye out for any tracks they missed, or any other danger that might appear, such as animal traps.

It was Austin that spotted something first.

"Hey dad, come look at this!" He called to me with a wave of his hand.

It wasn't the first time he had called me that. Just about all the kids had been calling Beth momma lately, and most had called me dad at some time or other, but it really creeped me out when Austin did it. The kid reminded me so much of myself it was eerie, but if the kid was like me, and I was like his dad, then it made me like… _him._

"Don't be callin' me dad."

"Sorry I meant to say Daryl, my tongue slipped."

"Yeah well get that tongue some traction. I ain't nobody's daddy."

"Okay…Daryl."

"What is it?"

"Tracks. that's a deer right?"

"Sure is. Smart kid you are. Don't need no books."

He smiled up at me, and I smiled back.

* * *

We followed the tracks for a few dozen yards, before they ended abruptly on a dirt covered asphalt road. I hadn't seen the road approach from behind the thick growth of trees, and I hadn't seen the garage and gas station that was on the other side of the road either.

The gas station was ancient. The pumps looked so old, they were surely only there for a gimmicky purpose, but the garage looked fairly new. It was made from sheet metal and had a dulled-out neon sign hanging over a series of roller doors. One of the doors was rolled up about a yard off the ground.

I had stopped looking for batteries the day I got home from Austin's school, and Beth told me she wanted to stay. I could see why she wanted to. It was safe and secure and sustainable, but it was lacking something big. Our family. Looking at this garage placed so obscurely in the middle of nowhere it almost felt like fate that I would find what I needed in there.

"I'm gonna check it out." I said turning back to Austin. "You stay back behind the trees with Mix."

"Why? I wanna come."

I pointed to the partially open door that had lines smudged all around the base like a hand had recently been on it.

"Just lemme check it out first, I'll call you over if it's safe."

Austin's face was rife with disappointment, but he nodded anyway.

"Don't come unless I call." I reiterated.

Austin called Mixy with a pat against his sweat pants and went back in to the trees.

* * *

I backed onto the sheet metal with my Airborne drawn and ready, and sidled my way around to the open doorway. Crouching low I peered into the garage to see if it was empty. It looked like it was save for two car bodies, and everything else you would expect to see in a garage…including batteries. I kept myself low while I made my way toward the cars and looked around and in them to make sure no-one was lurking, then I made my way over to the low shelving unit that housed a variety of batteries. I crept along the floor examining them until I saw one that looked about the right size and shape to fit in the bus back at Austin's school. I went down to my knee and put my Airborne down on the ground beside me, while I slid out the battery and then lay my palm on it to measure it up.

My Airborne slipping out of view at my side turned me from my task. I grabbed for the arm as it scrapped across the floor and ended up with fingertips scratched on the rough-brushed concrete and a handful of cold hard nothing. I moved my hand back to my hip, flicked the snap on my sheathe, slid out my Busse, and turned to face the massive mottled green beefcake who had hold of my bow.

"What you lookin' for? Beans and bullets?"

Beefcake would have been twice the size of Abraham. He had arms the size of my legs, and a head that looked like it was built to smash boulders. Like Abraham, he had a militant look about him, exaggerated by the fact he was dressed in full military combat gear.

He casually twisted my Airborne around while eyeing the Busse in my hand. My eyes roamed the garage to see there were four others in here with us. All dressed in military combats, and all strapped up with firearms. They had snuck in without me even noticing. For that to happen they were more than likely skilled in the art of stealth and hadn't just pulled the uniform from a dead carcass.

"You out here on your own fella?" Beefcakes voice was smooth and confident.

Most kids were encouraged from a young age to trust in a uniform. My own experience had taught me not to trust anyone, especially those in authority. Even if I put my own upbringing aside, this world had changed people, and mostly for the worse.

I looked over the men, their unwashed, unshaven faces smirking like they knew something I didn't. They stood all geared up, ready for war, with a slump in their stance like they didn't give a fuck about anything. There were blood stains on the sleeves of their khaki coloured jackets, that looked like it had come from a fresh ─non-walker─ source, and they had the smell; the same smell that Joe's group had. No, these were not the type that went around protecting civilians.

There were too many to take on my own, especially when they were obviously trained killers. Maybe if I could make them believe I was like them, just like with Joe's group, they would let me keep my life.

"Yeah. Lost my crew a while back." I tried at a convincing lie, not wanting them to go searching for others and find Austin.

"Lone Ranger, hey?" Beefcake looked pleased. "You gonna kill us all with that..." He cocked his head to the side to examine my knife. "Busse…Gemini?"

He knew his combat weapons. More evidence the uniform wasn't just for show. I could take down one with my knife if I was lucky, but the two in the back already had Hand guns on me and the others were dripping with firearms, explosives and melee gear.

"Suicide is stupid. Why hurt yourself when you can hurt others." I spoke the line I had heard straight out of a killer's mouth, and I hoped I had recited it convincingly enough.

The beefcake in front of me grinned widely under his thick moustache and the four men behind him sniggered.

"I think we got a _Hotel Alpha_ on our hands." Beefcake looked around to his men and their sniggers turned into hoarse cackles over the inside joke I didn't understand. "Look at 'im, runnin' around with his…" Beefcake held up the Airborne to examine it. "What's that Hickley? 101st Airborne? Didn't young Danny have one of them over at Foxtrot?"

The guy he called Hickley, glanced at the bow and nodded. "Yep 101st Airborne."

"Yeah Danny was a hard-ass wasn't he?"

"He _was_ a hard-ass." Replied Hickley, and all five of the men chuckled.

"Are you a hard-ass…" Beefcake waved his hand in the air like he wanted me to offer my name.

"Daryl."

"Daryl. I'm O'Reilly." He stuck his thumb into his barrel like chest. "This fella here is Hickley. This is Johnson." He thumbed to the men by his side "And in the back, Callaghan and Black."

He wanted me to know their names; did he want to give me the chance to remember them?

"You a hard-ass Daryl?" Asked Beefcake O'Reilly.

_Assimilate and survive._

"I do what needs to be done."

"I bet you do." He flashed me a twisted smile, revealing shiny white teeth. "That's the thing about this world were finding ourselves in. All these pussies come out of the works, grease a few _Zulus_ , and think they're suddenly hard-asses." He looked back to his men who continued to snigger. "You know what _we_ were doin' _before_ all this shit happened? Before we got pulled back to the blocks to play guardian angel?"

I didn't answer. It seemed like a rhetorical question.

"We were chasin' down the dark and sneakies with sand in our panties chaffing our cracks and sacks. We were highly trained combat artists. We were the ones creamin' targets that actually posed a threat. You know ones that could actually think. Quick on their feet, lighting reflexes, knew how to aim and fire a weapon. We were true killers; the original hard-asses, and now everyone with a gun…or a bow, thinks they can be just as hard as us."

I looked over the men again calculating my options. If I slit the throat of beefcake here, kicked Hickley in the nuts, stabbed Johnson up through the jaw…I would probably only be shot… three times.

"I'll give you this, pal. It does take a bit of skill to carry one of them around." He gave my Airborne a shake. "Give you them strong arms hey?" Beefcake ran his eyes up my arms.

I stared at him, not knowing what answer could be the difference between life and death.

"And you're out here on your own, right?"

He was prying. No way fucker, I'm not giving anyone up.

"Said I was."

"You lonely? Lookin' for some company?"

"Guess I could do with some." I said it to suggest I was open to the idea of following them and there no-good ways, just like with Joe's group. When the words had left my mouth I hadn't fully taken in the tone of his previous question, or his little monologue about hard-asses, but now as I looked at the sickeningly sly smile growing on his thin dry lips, I knew that these guys were far more dangerous than Joe's group. And I had given them the wrong answer.

"Hear that boys? He wants some company."

Adrenaline pumped through my veins, preparing my body for action.

_Fight or flee_

I braced my boots firmly against the floor, and tightened the grip around my Busse, as the fuckers circled around me, prowling like alley-cats.

"We can give you some company for the night if you like… but you could never be one of us, and we'll sure have fun proving that to you."

"He's a pretty one with all his long hair." Crowed Johnson as he stepped to my right.

"Yeah I bet if we rolled him over we wouldn't know the difference." Called Hickley as he took position on my left

I tried backing my way to the open door, hoping I could make a run for it, dodge out the door and hide in the bushes. Maybe lead them away from Austin and come back later when it was dark.

"I think I'd rather go it alone, so thanks for the enthrallin' conversation but…"

"Hold on blue eyes, where you goin?" Callaghan blocked the path to the door. He looked over my shoulder to the others. "Don't need to roll him over when he got them pretty blue eyes. I don't mind lookin' into eyes like that while I fuck." He leered at me, and my guts twisted and turned as I saw his thoughts in his eyes.

I took a fighting stance and lifted my Busse ready to plunge it into the next person that made a move.

"Now don't do somethin' stupid, we don't want to have to kill you. We really don't." Beefcake O'Reilly gleamed his wolf-like teeth at me. "Now your ass might be sore for a while, but you'll remember. You'll remember what you were before all this started. Nothing."

_Nothing._

They were going to take away any pride and worth I had left, and leave me with nothing. Just like before I had met Beth, before I had met Rick. Just before.

I did the calculations again of how many I could take down before I was killed or worse. Maybe if I took down the biggest threat; if I could use Beefcake O'Reilly here as a shield, I might be able to get to the door and make a run for it.

Beefcake and Hickley were approaching me now as I backed my way towards Callaghan, by the door.

I swung my Busse high and arced it down and backwards towards Beefcake, and it was met by a sharp crack to my wrist as Hickley blocked it, grabbed my arm and twisted it up behind my back in a swift movement, that caused me to lose grip of my Busse. These guys weren't talking shit before. They were without a doubt military trained, and pretty darn well at that.

I lifted my boot and went to slam it down on Hickley's instep, but before I made contact, Johnson had kicked my leg out and I landed heavily on to the floor face first, knocking my temple in to the ground. Now my head was spinning, my ears were ringing and I was seeing stars. And I must have been concussed as I heard a voice that I knew couldn't possibly exist.

_"You're nobody, your nothin'."_

I lifted my eyes from the grease stained concrete floor and looked to where the voice had come from. He was sitting leaning out of the passenger side of the sedan with his mud crusted boots planted firmly on the ground. His age marked and loose skinned arm was bent at the elbow and his gnarled fingers gripped a cigarette. He drew in on the cigarette and then let the smoke seep out as he gave me a grin that made my skin crawl. Now my old man didn't usually smoke, but the man I was staring at was without a doubt him.

"Get 'im up fellas." Called Beefcake O'Reilly, breaking my trance-like state.

Hickley and Johnson heaved me up and started dragging me over to the car that my old man was sitting in.

 _"Nothin'."_ He called again.

I shook my head a few times trying to regain some sense, and then struggled against the grip of the two men that had me, tugging my arms in towards my body and trying to twist my wrists free. Their grip was firm, so I tried kicking my legs out, but they dodged skilfully out of the way. I tried tossing my body around hoping to throw them of balance, but they simply heaved me, back first, on to the trunk of the car, and held me in place while Beefcake approached me.

I lifted my feet, and driving from my hips, I lunged them towards O'Reilly's face. He took a skilful step back and knocked my feet down with a swipe of his arm, before smashing his mallet fist into my eye socket, sending a searing pain up the entire left side of my face, and making my head spin all over again.

"May as well roll 'im over boys. Those blues are gonna be black anyhow."

Hickley and Johnson twisted my arms until I lifted my shoulders and then they forced me to roll over. Then O'Reilly was standing behind me with one of his mallets pressed down on the back of my scalp, gripping my hair and pushing my throbbing face down into the cold metal of the trunk.

"You see my bros, Callaghan and Black here. They've got two Berrettas aimed at your head. If you make this too hard for me, they're gonna blow your brains out from two directions…Now I don't wanna kill you. I would much rather you live knowing you were fucked by O'Reilly." I could hear the clinking of metal and imagined it was his belt, and my stomach twisted and churned.

 _"They're gonna fuck you like the bitch you are."_ Called my old man.

I was powerless. Just like I was when I was a kid and he beat the shit out of me, or when the governor killed Merle, or when he killed Hershel, or when Beth was raped by Anton. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even yell or call out. If I did, I knew Mix would come running, and Austin would follow. There was no way I was having him here with these fuckers.

They didn't want to kill me, they had made that clear, they just wanted to teach me a lesson. So maybe if I just grit my teeth, I could get through it. I could endure it just for the chance to see Austin to safety, and for the chance to see Beth again, even though I could never look her in the eye.

My breakfast caught in my throat as I felt Beefcake O'Reilly's hands, reaching around my waist and tugging at my belt.

"Look he's cryin. He's cryin' for his momma." Called out Johnson from my side.

I could feel wetness pooling around my cheek. Fuck I was crying. Crying like a little bitch.

I twisted my head upwards trying to hide my face and caught sight of my old man in the passenger seat puffing out a mouthful of smoke. The back window was fully intact, but I could still hear his voice as clear as if he was talking straight into my ear.

 _"You're momma ain't here. She's dead, burnt to a crisp thanks to these smokes I got 'ere."_ He looked to the cigarette in his hand. _"Your shit of a brother ain't here neither. You're all alone."_

He threw his head back and made an awful wheezing, chuckling sound as his whole body shook. Then a dirty, scar covered arm snapped out from the driver's side of the car and ripped the cigarette out of his fingers. My dad looked to the driver's seat in shock and I followed his gaze back to the face of my brother, Merle.

" _What're you a pansy now, Darlina? huh? You gonna moan for 'em and beg 'em for more? Why aren't you fightin' back?"_

"I can't." I muttered, turning my face back in to the trunk.

_"Blondie, don't love you, she's usin' you to keep her safe. Nobody loves you but old Merle and no brother of mine's bein' no god damn ass-fucked pansy."_

I felt the pressure of Beefcake's hand leave my head and I heard him hock a few times, sounding like he was dragging phlegm from the bottom of his throat and then he spat it out.

I spat out chunks of half-digested bread mixed with bile that had finally made their way from my guts to my mouth.

 _"He's lubin' you up Darlina, What the hell are you gonna do now?"_ I looked back to him to see his brows raise and his eyes widen, waiting for me to respond.

 _"Why don't you take a tip from officer friendly?"_ Merle's lips sneered to the side and he winked his eye.

Hickley and Johnson were chuckling to themselves, they thought they had won. They thought I had given in. They were off guard and their grip had loosened slightly, if I was forceful enough I might just be able to reach him. I knew I couldn't take them all on. O'Reilly would probably crush my skull with his bare hands, but I had accepted my fate, and I was nobody's bitch.

I clenched my hands into fists and pressed them down on to the trunk. I braced all the muscles in my arms and chest and then propelled my head backwards with all the force I had in me, and hoped it hit where I wanted it to.

The crack and shout, and the throbbing in the back of my head told me I had. Johnson and Hickley were staring behind me towards where O'Reilly had been, and were too stunned to react. I lifted the arm attached to the smaller one, Johnson, and dragged him forward over the trunk and off his feet, as I ripped my arm out of the grip of Hickley and slammed my elbow down into Johnson's throat crushing his windpipe.

_"Look out baby brother."_

Hickley lunged for me, but this time I was ready, I slipped away from him and rolled back on to the trunk of the car.

"Kill the fucker!" Called O'Reilly as he held his bleeding nose. I caught a glimpse of Callaghan cocking his Beretta, which was following me as I slid along the trunk. I made to jump away, and fell to the ground tripping on my jeans that were still wrapped around my ankles. I rolled to the side hoping to avoid any bullets and heard a familiar high-pitched battlecry.

Austin flashed past me, jumped on to a nearby shelf and flung himself towards Callaghan with his little knife held high. He landed on Callaghan's back, gripping his legs around his waist, and slammed the blade down into his neck. Callaghan shook his gun arm around wildly while trying to shake Austin off and I rolled back again trying to avoid his aim. I heard a gunshot, which cracked and echoed through the garage and mingled in with an animalistic growling, yelling and cries of confusion.

 _"Get up lil bro."_ Merle jumped into view crouching over me with wild eyes.

I looked above Merle's head to see O'Reilly's large boot hurtling towards my face. I rolled to the side and was caught by Hickley who dragged me upwards. I pulled myself out of his grip, by throwing myself on to the trunk of the car and grabbed hold of the knife from Johnson's choking body. I flung the blade into Hickley's face, and dragged it back out releasing a stream of hot blood.

I turned back to Beefcake O'Reilly, to see he was struggling to tear away at Mix's jaws that were embedded in his throat.

There was one left; Black. I turned to see his forearm was covered in bits of dangling flesh and blood stained material, and figured the growling I heard earlier was Mix who had already had a go at him while my back was turned.

Black was holding his Beretta at the ready and darting the aim of his muzzle between Mix, Austin and me looking unsure of who was the biggest threat. His eyes and aim rested on me just as I flicked the knife in my grip, tugged it up to my ear and flung it in his direction. The blade made a satisfying popping sound as it went through his eye and embedded in his skull, and was followed by a gunshot as Black crumpled backwards. I turned back to Mix to see a throatless O'Reilly fall to the floor and a pool of red pump out around him.

I hiked up my jeans and fumbled at my belt, trying to get a grip on the buckle with my shaking, blood soaked hands, while I double checked to make sure my attackers were down.

Black had the knife embedded in his face. Hickley had a deep, fleshy gash between his eyes, Johnson had the crushed windpipe, O' Reilly was on the floor throatless and in a pool of red that was still pumping from his wound. Callaghan was on the ground by Austin's feet with blood gurgling out of a dozen holes in his chest, shoulders and neck.

I stumbled backwards, feeling weak and giddy, and with my head still throbbing and spinning from the last time I had been hit.

"You're hurt." Called a panting Austin, pointing his finger towards me.

I looked to the shoulder he was pointing at to see blood was seeping out from a small pit of mangled raw flesh. It was from a bullet I didn't even know I had caught. It was just a straight through graze, but it was bleeding a shit-ton and it would need to be patched up. I pressed my palm to my shoulder and groaned at the sudden recognition of pain.

I looked back towards the car to see if Merle were still there. Merle was gone, but my old man was there, leaning against the roof of the car shaking his head at me.

_"Told you, you was weak. You need a mothafuckin' kid and puppy dog to help you out. Pussy."_

_"_ Why didn't you listen to me?" I growled, as I turned back to Austin.

Austin looked up at me wide-eyed and bewildered, and then looked back to the corpse at his feet. He raised his hands and examined the knife and blood that covered his arms up to his elbow.

"The blood…it's warm." He muttered.

"I told you to stay back, you lil' shit."

He flicked his eyes up at me with the shocked look still on his face.

"If I did they would have…."

"Yeah, and they mighta done it to you too."

Tears welled in Austin's eyes, and his shoulders heaved as he let out a large sob, crying like the little bitch he was.

"What the fuck're you cryin for? nothin' happened to _you_." I snapped.

"I've never killed a person before, asshole!" Austin swiped his bloody hand over his face, collected tears and snot as it went.

"You know I'm gettin' sick of your filthy fuckin' mouth, boy." I stalked towards him, shaking the finger from my free hand.

"I hear that shit outta your mouth again and you'll be pickin' your teeth off the floor." That line was right outta my old man's mouth, and I could hear him say it with me unison. I knew I shouldn't be saying that shit, but for some reason it felt natural and kind of cathartic. I glanced over to my old man and watched his body shake as he laughed at me.

I knew he was here to tell me how much of a fuck-up I had been. I had been stupid walking right into that situation. The old Daryl never would have; the old Daryl who saw the world for all the blood and piss and shit that it was. This new Daryl was a pussy. He sat around playing with kids and dogs and took dumbass pictures of flowers and sang songs with pretty girls. I had played house with Beth for too long, and it had made me soft. Soft fuckers didn't survive in this world, and I was sick of pretending to be an indoor cat anyway.

I walked back over to the trunk of the car that my old man was leaning on and rested against it while I examined the bullet wound. I took out my rag from my back pocket and flipped it over my shoulder, and winced as I bent my arm up to hold the rag in place, while I tied a knot.

 _"Pussy."_ My old man sniggered.

"Pass me them smokes there." I pointed to the pack of cigarettes that were poking out of Callaghan's jacket pocket.

Without taking his angry little eyes off me, he picked up the smokes and threw them my way. I caught them with one hand. And I pulled a cigarette out, put it in my mouth, lit it with my lighter and took a few drags.

Austin looked to the dressing on my shoulder and screwed his face up. "That rag's real dirty. Is that even safe?"

"I don't care." I snapped back at him, and took in several deep drags of my smoke, until it was nothing but filter and then threw it on to the grease covered floor.

 _"You were gonna let them ass-fuck you so you could be with goldilocks and the fifteen bears."_ My old man crooned _. "And if toddler Timmy 'ere didn't help you, they woulda been fuckin' your dead corpse…Pussy."_

"Get all their shit." I called to Austin as I walked over to the military duffle bag near one of the tyres of the car that was half filled with firearms and explosives. I picked it up collected my Busse and Airborne off the ground and dropped the bag in front of Austin so he could put what he had found in it.

Austin looked up at me, with a furrowed brow and a twisted mouth, while he shoved the last of the gear into the bag.

"Are you even gonna thank me?"

"Nuh." I grunted as I lifted the bag on my good shoulder and went back to the shelf to grab the battery that would deliver me from the nursery I had been living in for the past two months.

_"Pussy."_

* * *

I backed the bike into its usual spot under the glass canopy by the entry. Mix jumped off and bounded out of sight around the side of the school, like he couldn't get away from me fast enough, and I unloaded the bag of gear and supplies we had scavenged from the garage. I dumped everything down on to the ground, then turned back to Austin and took the battery out of his arms so he could get off the bike.

"Don't tell Beth what happened, okay?" I said to Austin, while I pointed a cautionary finger at his face.

"She's gonna see…" Austin started, pointing to my shoulder.

"Not about that you lil' fucker, about what _almost_ happened."

Austin screwed his face up at me, and then kicked at the dirt with his joggers, before marching up the brick paved steps and pushing through the front door to the school.

I tucked the battery under my arm, resting it against my hip, and then heaved the bag up on my shoulder and followed him in.

I didn't bother going to see Beth or the kids like I usually did when I came back from a run. I just went straight down the hall towards the showers. I could still feel Beefcake's slobber, sticking between my ass cheeks, and it had been heavy on mind on the ride home.

I dumped all the supplies down on one of the benches and tore off my bloody and filthy clothing, and went straight into the shower stall. I grabbed the sliver of sticky soap and lathered it up in my hands and rubbed it over my aching muscles, slipping off the rag on my shoulder that was sodden in blood and water. It slapped on to the ground, and I watched Red spiral out of it and down the drain.

I stood in the searing hot shower, staring at the tiles in front of my face, while I scrubbed against my skin, and listened to my old man's voice call over and over again in my head.

_Pussy. You're weak, You're nothin'._

When my skin was stinging and red raw, I shut the shower off, wrapped a towel around my hips and walked over to one of the mirrors next to the shower stalls, scooping up my Busse from on top of my pile of clothes on the way. I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my shaggy hair that had gotten completely out of control over the past year or so. It really did make me look like a bitch.

I grabbed a handful of hair and hacked away at it with my Busse, letting the strands slip through my fingers and land in the pools of water at my feet. I looked back up to see a wide eyed, open mouthed Beth appear in the mirror behind me.

"What the hell happened to you!" She cried, stepping forward to examine my bruised and swollen face and the seeping wound on my shoulder.

"Nothin'." I shrugged away from her touch.

"Nothin'? Austin's out there all covered in blood too."

"Ran into some trouble."

"Good lord!" She turned away from me and began sifting through the lockers, and pulled out a clean looking white tee and a roll of adhesive tape. She came back and prodded her cool fingers against my tender shoulder.

"This'll need stitches."

She tore at the shirt with her teeth, and put the rags to my shoulder, delicately folding them and pressing them down on the inflamed fresh. Her hands were gentle, soft and nurturing, just like her. She wouldn't have survived this far if it weren't for me. Of course she was using me. I continued to saw at my hair as I thought of ways I could use her back.

"What the hell are you doin' to your hair?" She chuckled at me and then made to grab at my Busse. I shook her hand away and continued hacking, watching her pout at me in the mirrors reflection.

When a cut in my hair revealed the gash on my temple, she tutted and then ripped off a small section of the tee and dabbed it on my wound, while I moved around her hands with my blade.

When I was happy with the length of my hair, I tossed my Busse into the basin and glared into the mirror. The reflection showed my beaten, bloody and bruised self and the image of untouched perfection behind me. She grabbed me by my good shoulder and turned me to face her.

"Daryl, are you okay?" Her eyes were big pools of worry and concern. She probably wanted me to reassure her and make her feel better. But I didn't feel like comforting her. I felt like comforting myself.

I grabbed her by the back of her head, tangling my hand into her blonde locks, and pulled her towards me, forcing my lips hard up against hers. Our teeth knocked together and she let out a cry of pain, but I covered her wailing mouth with my own, and forced my tongue into her mouth stopping her from making any more sound.

Beth moved her hands up from my shoulders, to my neck and then ran her fingers through my freshly cut hair. She responded to my forceful kissing, trying to fight my tongue with her own, while my hands went to her waist and tore at her belt.

She pulled away from my mouth, with an amused curl to her lips. "Daryl what's got into you?" She glanced down to where my hands were unbuttoning the fly on her jeans.

"Nothin'." I grunted as I tugged her jeans and panties down to her boots. I put my hands behind her knees and pulled them forward so her legs collapsed and she fell down onto the tiles with a thud and a wet slap.

She let out a surprised cry, and then wriggled her torso forward pushing her arms into the puddles of bloody, hair filled water.

"The floor's all wet." She held up a hand, matted with hair.

"I don't care." I muttered.

I ripped away my towel and climbed between her legs, kneeling on the bundled up jeans around her boots to keep them out of the way. I pushed her back forcefully onto the tiles with one hand, while I moved her thigh to the side with the other.

"The kids will hear us." She looked up at me with her oblivious, innocent blue eyes, glowing brightly amongst her flushed pink skin.

"I don't care."

I slammed myself into her driving through her delicate lips and into her hot, tight and unprepared pussy. She let out a shocked yelp, arched her back, and dug her nails into my undamaged shoulder. I pulled her ass towards me while grinding my hips against her thighs, and pushing my cock in as far as it could reach. I allowed myself to be consumed by the feel of her protesting muscles, and the sound of her moans that were a mixture of pleasure and pain.

"Condom." She gasped.

"I don't care."

I thrust into her again and again, knocking her head back on to the tiled floor. I pinned her down with my heavy aching body, and buried my face into the pale gold hair that looped and curled across the wet floor.

She giggled.

She mother fucking giggled.

If only she knew the shit that was going through my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Put your hand up if you made it through to the end. Yep, Daryl is going somewhere really dark. But Beth is his light so he'll pull through. Discuss your feelings, good and bad.


	7. Crime & Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth tries to think of a way to help Daryl feel better after his nasty encounter. But does Beth know what Daryl really needs?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is full of lemony goodness...with a lime twist at the end.

 

The shade popped off the stand of the lamp, and almost fell out of my grip. I placed it down on the oak table amongst the mess of papers and writing utensils, and then pulled the base of the lamp closer to where Daryl was seated. Although I had insisted on stitching Daryl up as soon as we got out of the bathroom, Daryl had taken off with his freshly acquired bag of guns so that he could distribute them throughout the school.

He had stashed several weapons in different rooms on both floors of the school, and a single rifle in the plant room on the third floor. He said he wanted to be prepared, but for what exactly, I wasn't sure. I pointed out the danger in having weapons all over the school with the kids around, and he insisted that instead of teaching them how to read, we taught them how to remove a safety and pull a trigger.

It took him what was left of the day to prepare the school for this phantom siege, and when he went down to get some cold soup for dinner; I was already busy getting the kids ready for bed. By the time he made it back to our room, it was well past dusk, and the office was dark. We didn't use the ceiling lights as they drained too much from the solar, and there was no fuel for the generator, so the lamp was our only choice.

The medical kits that had been left in the gym from when it was used as an evacuation centre were all lacking in suture kits. I had to use some nylon thread and a curved needle from the home studies room to sew Daryl up. It had also been lacking in aspirin, or any form of pain killer, and I wished I hadn't drank all of that whiskey, so that he could at least block out some of the pain.

He didn't squirm when I doused him with antiseptic lotion, he didn't flinch when I stuck the needle into his flesh, and he didn't wince when I tugged the thread through and closed his skin together. He just stared blankly into nothingness.

I didn't need a degree in psychology to know that something was bothering him. He had been quiet and brooding ever since he returned from the hunting trip with Austin and the silence was becoming unnerving.

When I had finished with the stitches, two on his temple and five on his shoulder, I opened a pack of gauze and smoothed it over his wounds with some adhesive tape to hold in place. I took his grey haired chin between my thumb and forefinger and turned his face up to me, so I could look into his swollen eyes.

After holding his gaze for a few moments, examining the flecks of grey that mingled with the blue, he shook out of my grip and looked back to the spot he had been staring at for the past hour.

"What happened to you guys today?"

"I told ya; ran into some trouble."

"I don't think that's gonna cut it Daryl. You go out to _hunt_ , and you come back all beaten and bloody with a darn bullet hole in you and a bag full of guns. I think that needs some kinda explanation."

His eyes flicked briefly to mine, then back to nothingness.

"Didn't Austin explain it to you?"

"No. He just said some guys tried to hurt you, and you killed them all and took their stuff."

"Well, that's what happened."

I bent down so I could look into his eyes, putting my hands to my knees for support.

"How many were there? Where did you find them? Why did they have so many guns...and why're you actin' so weird?"

His cool blue eyes narrowed and he slowly turned them up to look at me. The look was angry, and almost threatening, but it hid a sadness that tore through my heart.

"There were five. I found them in a garage. They were military."

I waited for him to answer the last question.

Daryl glared at me, then gave a frustrated sigh and pushed himself out of the chair, standing to lean on the desk.

"And I'm fuckin' sore. Been stuck up in 'ere with you and a bunch of kids not doin' nothin' but play motherfuckin' hopscotch, hula hoops and handball… Then all a sudden gotta fight for my life… I've been too fuckin' soft."

I couldn't remember him ever being shot before, other than with his own arrow, and it very well could have killed him if it had have been a foot over. I guessed the near death experience had really shaken him up.

I leaned towards him, resting my hands on the desk on either side of his hips, and looked up into his downcast eyes.

"Is there somethin' I can do to make you feel better?"

All I could think of was the rough love making we had on the bathroom floor earlier that day. He had been so desperate and needy, and I had given into him, feeling a slight thrill at how rough he was being. I figured that was a thing guys did; had sex to make themselves feel better.

I waited for him to reply, while I gave him an inviting smile, and twitched my body from side to side, twirling my hips against his thighs.

His eyes were fixed to the floor at my side.

I let out a sigh and then put my hands to the hem of my tee and tugged it over my head and let it drop to the floor, and then I reached over him to the camera that was perched on the edge of the desk.

"Do you wanna take my picture?" I asked in a smooth satin voice, as I dangled the camera in front of my breasts.

He snatched the camera out of my hand and hurled it across the room. It hit the far wall with a crack and fell to the ground in two pieces, the lens piece snapped clean off.

"I don't wanna take no damn pictures of nothin'." He snarled at me, before pushing past me and moving towards the sofas.

"Daryl?" I called after him, confused at his destructive outburst. "Why'd you break that? You can't just go 'round breakin' things when your mad."

He tossed himself down on the sofa, fully clothed in his blood stained flannel, leather vest, jeans and boots, and he put his hands to his face as if shielding his eyes from the light, even though the room was barely lit.

"Nothin' happened!" He half yelled. "Nothin' happened I couldn't handle, or else I wouldn't be 'ere would I?"

I was a little stunned at what he had just said, given it had no direct precursor. He must have been really terrified today. I wasn't new to Daryl's moodiness. I knew he was stubborn when it came to revealing his thoughts and feelings, but I also knew if I pried enough he would divulge them.

I made my way over to where he lay, ready to give him a serving about bottling up his emotions, but re-thought it when I saw his face pinched in discomfort, with his thumb and forefinger rubbing against the un-swollen side of his forehead.

"Do you have a headache?"

"A bit." He grunted.

"Maybe you did some damage to your head?"

"I'm just tired, Greene." He opened his eyes and looked up at me. "Can we get some sleep?"

Feeling defeated by compassion, I walked back to the desk, flicked off the lamp, and stumbled through the dark room back over to the sofa.

I wriggled out of my clothes and boots, and fumbled around for my oversized sweater I liked to sleep in. I found it on the backrest of the sofa pulled it on and climbed in beside Daryl.

I tried to console him using my most gentle and soothing voice as I wrapped my arms around him; "I know it must have been scary out there, with just you and Austin and Mixy, but you made it, you're all safe, and that's what matters."

He grunted in response.

I nestled my face into his chest, and waited for him to put his arm around me like he usually did at night─ most often after we had made love ─but I didn't think that would be happening tonight. He didn't seem interested in me at all tonight. He just left his hands by the side of his head, and tapped his boots against the sofa arm in a nervous manner.

"You'll feel better after a good night's rest." I assured him.

He grunted again.

I turned my face upwards and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"I love you." I whispered into his ear.

"Mmm." He mumbled.

* * *

My dream had been clouded and hazy. I couldn't pick the events that were unfolding or the characters that played them out, the only thing I could recognise was a voice, cold and dry and harsh.

"Shut the fuck up!" It snarled.

It made me startle from my sleep, and I snapped my eyes open to the darkened room and waited for them to adjust.

I was surrounded by cold night air, a feeling I had not experienced for months now. I always had Daryl's warm body pressed up against mine, whether it be by my side, on top, or below me. But that night, Daryl had shifted over the dip between the two sofas to settle on the other side.

I reached my hand out to search for his warmth, while I turned my head towards him. He was lying on his back in the exact same position he had first lay down in. With his arms bent and above his head, and his hands resting against his face. His eyes were wide open, the whites illuminated by the moonlight, and staring up towards the darkened ceiling.

I cleared my throat trying to shake the dryness, that I could feel had settled there throughout the night.

"You say somethin'?"

He was silent, but the sudden rigidness of his body gave away that he had heard me.

"No." He grunted in a voice that was identical to the one I had heard in my dream.

I pulled myself into the uncomfortable ditch that neither of us liked to sleep in, and rested my head against his chest. Heat radiated from him, seeping through his layers of flannel and leather. It made me worry that he may have an infection from his injuries, or it could be because he slept fully clothed, which he hadn't done for many weeks now.

"Can't sleep?" I asked in a whisper.

He twitched slightly against me. After a length of silence he finally spoke again.

"I'm sorry…'bout before."

I scoffed in amusement, surprised that he would let one of his regular bad moods keep him awake.

"It's okay I'm gettin' used to your tantrums...You didn't have to break the camera though."

He twitched again, let out a deep sigh, and shifted his legs against the leather of the sofa.

"Not then…before…in the bathroom…I hurt you."

The bathroom. That had been unsuspected, but it had been exciting and new. It did hurt a little, but the pleasure was worth it.

"It's okay." I wrapped my leg around his waist, and drew his hip towards me. "It was kind of fun, just throwin' caution to the wind and doin' it right there on the floor like that. I didn't mind it."

He scoffed into the darkness. I tried to look up to his face, but in the dim light I couldn't tell if it was a scoff of amusement, disbelief, derision or disgust.

"Did it make you feel better? Havin' sex?"

His breathing hitched and I could hear words that he wanted to say cracking in his throat. He was silent for a moment before replying.

"Just go back to sleep."

* * *

I woke to pre-dawn light and a soft clicking that echoed through the room. I listened out for the sound of Daryl's breathing which was usually hot upon my neck, but this morning I couldn't hear it or feel it. I turned to my side to see the sofa beside me was empty.

Realising what the clicking sound had been, I clamoured out of bed, over to the door and flung it open to search the corridor for him. I saw his dark shadow, only just visible under the dim skylight; turn around the corner and out of sight.

Dragging the hem of my sweater down around my thighs, I padded my bare feet over the cold linoleum floor after him.

"Daryl." I whispered down the corridor not wanting to wake the children. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. The swelling over his eye had settled down to a dark purple ring, yet the skin around his stitches still looked puckered and inflamed. He was wearing his poncho and had both his bow and a rifle slung over his good shoulder, and a handgun in a holster on his hip. On his other hip was a large bag that folded as if it were mostly empty.

"You goin' somewhere?" I asked while eying him up.

He hesitated before me, dropping his eyes to his boots then looking to the pictures on the wall and then to the bag, as if he was trying to avoid my gaze.

"Yeah." He finally replied.

"Well…where?"

His eyes darted back and forth like he was thinking hard about it.

"Found a battery yesterday. Gonna try it out in the bus back at Austin's school."

"Oh…I thought we didn't need the bus anymore."

Daryl crossed his arms and shrugged his shoulders.

"We don't know what's gonna happen, Beth. What if someone comes by with a tank, decides they want what's ours and try an' blow us outta 'ere. We need an escape plan, right?"

I cringed as memory of losing the prison and daddy flooded back to me. "I guess so."

He turned to leave again, and I skipped my steps so I could catch up to him.

"Do you want me to drive you in the Honda? So you don't have to leave your bike?"

"Nah, I'm gonna walk."

I grabbed hold of his arm and turned him to face me.

"Walk? But you were real hot last night, you might have a fever. And the battery; won't it be heavy? And I can…"

"No." He interrupted. "I want to walk."

He started to move away from me again, but I gripped his arm keeping him in place.

"Daryl, you need to tell me if somethin' is upsettin' you. If you don't tell me, I can't help."

"I don't need your help." He snapped, as he shook out of my grip. "I don't need no-ones help. I don't need no-one for nothin'."

It certainly wasn't the first time he had thrown that line at me, but I didn't think I would be hearing it again from his lips.

"I know you don't _need_ my help, but I _want_ to help you. You should let me."

"Jus' lemme go on my own. I need some time to think."

I wondered what it was he needed to think about.

"Okay. You keep safe."

There was a part deep inside of me that felt like I should say goodbye, but I hated goodbyes. So I just smiled weakly at him as he made his way through the corridor and down the stairs.

* * *

Austin claimed that his school was only a ten minute drive from here. So I guessed it would take about an hour to walk. Maybe an hour and a half if you were carrying weapons and a large battery. I figured it would take an hour to fit the battery in place and then ten minutes to drive home. Daryl should have been gone for no more than three hours. I expected him home in the late morning, and waited at the gate, while I practiced shooting the crossbow into the trees that lined the front path.

After an hour of waiting I went back inside to give the kids their lessons. I wasn't much in the mood for teaching, but I had to stick with routine for the sake of the kids. After our lessons we had lunch, and then I went out to wait for him again, throwing a stick idly to Mix who had decided to keep me company, while the kids tumbled through the overgrown gardens.

When he wasn't home by dinner time, I started to get very concerned, and anxiously checked the clocks in every room of the school as I walked past. I made the children take their showers and read them a rushed story before going in to the office to wait for him again. I sat in the chair and pulled it right up to the window, leaning my forearms against the cold glass, hoping to see some sign he was out there.

When I next looked at the clock on the principal's desk it was midnight. I had been tapping my foot nervously and chewing on my nails for nearly four hours.

I shouldn't have let him go out there alone. He had obviously had headaches and his temperature was up. He might have passed out somewhere. He might have crashed the bus on the way home. Some bad people might have attacked him again, and even though he was heavily armed, he was in no state to fight.

I was considering leaving the children, grabbing my Stryker and taking the Honda out to search for him, when I saw a tiny light flashing downhill in the town. I jumped to my feet and pressed my face to the glass watching to see the light get larger and split in to two. When I recognised the lights belonged to a school bus, driving down the main street, I dashed out of the office, downstairs and outside so I could open the gate for him.

Once the bus was parked up next to his bike, I waited for him to get off, getting ready to blast him for making me worry about him all day.

When he finally got out the door I reconsidered my plan of attack. He looked haggard, his eyes were puffy and his skin looked blotchy and pale.

"What happened to you?" I cried as I raced towards him and threw my arms around his waist, anger replaced with relief.

"Took longer than I thought." He pried my hands away, and then moved towards the front door of the school.

"I was so worried about you." I followed him inside and toward the stairs.

"I actually thought you might not come back at one stage." I chuckled nervously

"One day I might not."

"What do you mean?"

"One day somethin' might happen to me, and I might not come back. You gotta be prepared for that." He turned off the staircase and down the corridor towards the faculty rooms.

"That's not gonna happen." I laughed humourlessly.

"It might." He said bluntly while spinning around to face me. "Do you think you can drive that thing?" He pointed down toward the staircase. I guessed he meant the bus.

"Maybe. I drove the truck on the farm sometimes, but I won't need to because you…"

"No." He interrupted. "I gotta teach _you_ how to drive it. I'll teach ya tomorrow." He stumbled a little, and leaned on the wall for support.

I put my hand to his forehead and felt that it was hot and clammy, and I wondered if there were any antibiotics in the medical kits.

"Daryl you look really awful, I think you should just rest tomorrow."

He shook his head and backed away from me heading towards the principal's office.

"No. I did that for too long." He grunted before pushing a hand off the wall and disappearing through the open doorway into the office.

I followed him in, closing the door behind me and watched as he threw all his gear to the ground and then dropped to the sofa, fully clothed for the second night.

I felt so bad for him. His run in yesterday had really scared him. He had gone back to the paranoid Daryl, who didn't know how to rest and relax, even when he was sick. He had no reason to worry here, no one had been past here but us.

I turned off the lamp and crawled on to the sofa curling up beside him, and wrapping my arm around his chest.

"It'll get better." I mumbled.

He groaned in response.

"I'll help make it better." I kissed him on the cheek, and he shifted uncomfortably.

"I love you." I whispered for the second time.

For the second time he mumbled his reply.

* * *

Daryl didn't look as awful the next morning. His colour had gone back to normal, and he didn't feel so hot to the touch, but I still insisted he stay at the school for the day.

I dragged him into the library with us after the chores and lessons were done, so we could lay by the windows in the sun and read books. There had been a spring downpour earlier that morning and everything was wet outside so I thought it the perfect opportunity to have some quiet indoor time.

Daryl grunted and groaned about being dragged in there, but he seemed fairly content to lie down on a bean bag and close his eyes. Of course he wasn't going to be able to sleep as the kids were never quiet. But I wanted him by my side so I could keep an eye on his condition.

The kids had decided to have a bean bag fight, and then some of the younger kids decided to make a tower from the books, and the double floor library was filled with the squeals and laughter of children. Daryl grunted, groaned and shifted in the beanbag seemingly bothered by the noise.

I encouraged the kids to pick a book and read it to themselves in an effort to keep them quiet, and I leaned up against Daryl's bean bag reading a vampire romance novel aimed at teens. It had a weak storyline, but it was a cute love story. Winnie interrupted my thoughts of impossible romances when she dropped on to my lap and pushed a book into my face.

"Read this to me, momma." She begged me with her big brown eyes

"She ain't your momma." Daryl snapped from behind us. The sound of his voice was so sudden and aggressive that tears immediately came to Winnie's eyes.

"Daryl!" I chastised, while turning an angry glare at him.

"Well you ain't." He glared back at me. "The only one who ever shoulda called you momma is Judith. Remember her? Huh? You raised her from birth and then you walked out and left her."

That was quite possibly the most hurtful thing he had ever said to me. It hit me like a knife in the guts that dragged right up through my chest, and twisted through my heart.

"I did not leave her Daryl." I tried to hold back angry tears. "They left us! Don't you ever imply that I meant to leave her, 'cause it's bullshit!" I had no regard for watching my language around the kids as I usually did. I just waved an angry finger in his face and continued to snarl at him. "I loved that little girl with all my heart."

"Yeah, well… you don't seem to be in no hurry to get back to 'er."

I sighed, impatient with his emotional attack on me.

"Daryl we've talked about that. You know why."

I flicked my eyes cautiously over to the kids who had now stopped what they were doing to watch us. I didn't want them to know that we had decided not to go to Washington in case they wouldn't take them in. I didn't want them to feel responsible for keeping us here and away from our loved ones.

Daryl must have read my body language, as he pressed his lips together in silence and glared up at the ceiling two levels above him.

I ushered Winnie off my lap so that I could turn my body in to face him.

"Daryl, you gotta talk to me. You can't just be snappin' at me all the time, that's not gonna help anythin'. Tell me what it is that's botherin' you…Did somethin' happen while you were out there that you're not tellin' me about?"

"What do you care, Goldilocks?" He snapped.

"Goldilocks?"

"Yeah. 'cause you come into a man's home and fuck with all the shit he's ever known."

He pushed his arms down into the beanbag and threw himself upwards to standing position.

I stood to face him and we both glared angrily at each other while we continued to bicker.

"Why are you bein' such an ass?"

"I'm fuckin' tired of this same old shit, I'm tired of havin' kids hangin' off me all day. Wantin' me to play dollies with 'em, and kiss their booboos. I'm tired of bein' the only fuckin' adult 'round 'ere."

"The only adult?" I growled.

"I'm just…I'm fuckin' tired." He gave his eyes a rub, and then the top of his nose a pinch. "Will you just shut the fuck up!" He yelled towards the kids.

"Daryl, they didn't say anythin'."

He looked around at the kids who had been completely silent for a few minutes now, and were watching him with shocked looks on their faces.

"My head's poundin'." He said while pressing his palms to his ears, and squeezing his face together in tension.

"I'm not convinced you're well." I forced a soft tone into my voice, while I examined his run down appearance. "Maybe just go upstairs, get some rest. I'll come check on you later."

Daryl nodded without looking at me, and made his way up the stairs and to the upper level exit of the library.

I dropped myself back down to the beanbag and thought over the argument we had just had. He had been mean, but he had also been honest. Even though I'm sure he didn't intend to, he had revealed some important clues about what had been bothering him.

He missed the others, he was overwhelmed with the task of taking care of the children, and he held me partially responsible for keeping him here.

As angry as I was at him, I could understand where he was coming from. He had gone from being a drifter who didn't have to care about anyone but himself, to a member of a council that looked after a community of mostly adults, to one of only two adults amongst a mass of children. He had stepped up to the huge responsibility, without complaint, until now. He had been so good to all of us, and I really hadn't shown him enough gratitude.

That would change as of now.

* * *

...

I had been insanely curious about the magazines I had found in the locked box several days earlier. I had flicked through them a couple of times, wondering what all the fuss was about. I don't think daddy ever would have read them, and my brother Shawn must have kept them well hidden as I never saw them, even after all the times I had snooped through his room.

The articles were all aimed at men, and mainly talked about cars, lifting weights, food, beer and sex. There was nothing much of interest in there for me, but it did give me an insight into what men wanted. The impression that I got was if I gave Daryl a good feed, and mind blowing sex, it would make him a happy man once again. So I decided that was my task for the rest of that day.

The kids were able to help me with the first stage. We slaughtered a few chickens, seeing as we had too many of them anyway, especially with all the chicks now hatching, and we prepared them and roasted them quick smart before the meat started to go rigid.

We collected fresh vegetables from the garden to roast up with the chicken, and I mixed up some stuffing using stale bread and herbs.

Marie decided to take things one step further and got some rolls of material from the home studies room, some of our emergency candles, and set about turning the cafeteria into a restaurant. She even drew up some colourful menus with the help of the other kids and set them on the tables.

I picked some our strawberries, which weren't quite ripe yet, but I would stew them in sugar which would make up for the tartness. Desert was such a rare thing around here, and it _was_ a special occasion.

When everything was ready and out in the servery, I went back upstairs to collect Daryl.

Walking down the empty dark hall, I swear I could hear a voice speaking in an angry, low tone. When I got to the door of the office, I could hear it was Daryl.

"I tried." He growled. "I can't…she won't make it…just shut the fuck up!"

I pushed the door open, expecting to see him talking to one of the kids, but I only saw him pacing back and forth around the room, looking like he hadn't slept at all.

He stopped suddenly, looking startled when he saw me standing there.

"Who were you talking too?" I asked, while my eyes darted around the room.

"I weren't talkin'." He snapped angrily.

"Yeah you were…I heard you."

"I was givin' my dick a pep talk alright?"

He was being all angry and aggressive again, so I tried to neutralise the situation with humour.

"Isn't she gonna make it?" I teased playfully.

He didn't say anything, but the angry glare fell from his face.

"I've got a surprise for you." I said sweetly as I stepped towards him, took his hands in mine and pulled him back towards the door.

* * *

I could see he was trying to fight a smile when he walked into the cafeteria. It did look amazing with all the tables covered in brightly coloured material and the children sitting so quietly and sweetly looking up at him. The smell of roast chicken and vegetables filled the room, and reminded me of home.

I sat Daryl down at a candlelit table and served him a plate piled high. He started picking at it with his hands, before a nudged the knife and fork in his direction which he reluctantly plucked up and started stabbing into his food awkwardly.

When he was done with dinner I served everyone desert. The children squealed with delight, which made me laugh, and Daryl smiled for the first time in days, which washed me with a wave of relief, taking it as a sign he was on the way to recovery.

After dinner he said he was going outside for a smoke, and I spent the time helping the kids clean up, reading them a bed time story and tucking them in to bed for the night.

When I was done I went searching for Daryl so I could get prepared for the second stage of my _'make Daryl feel better'_ plan.

I found him sitting at the front of the school watching three walkers try to force their way between the iron bars, while he casually sucked on a cigarette.

"Are you gonna finish 'em?" I asked as I approached him, keeping my eyes on the moaning dead.

He threw his cigarette on the ground, and extinguished it with his boot. By the look of the butt covered dirt by his feet, he must have sat there and smoked just about the whole packet in a space of only an hour or so. There were at least a dozen butts there that I'm sure had not been there earlier.

He kicked his pile of butts to the side, then got up walked casually over to the walkers, pulled out his knife and stabbed them one after the other in the head.

"Guess so." He said when they were down and silent.

I stepped to him and took hold of his filthy flannel shirt.

"I've got more dessert for you." I said with a warm smile.

"I'm pretty full." He kept his eyes on his shoes and avoided my attempted sensual gaze.

I put my finger to his chin and lifted his face up.

"This is a very special adult's only dessert."

His cheeks grew red as recognition grew in his eyes.

"Is that right?" He said with a sly grin.

"Yes. So why don't you take a little longer on your perimeter check tonight, so I can prepare."

"What you need to prepare? All you gotta do is take your clothes off."

I grinned at him, pleased that he was oblivious to my surprise.

"You'll see. Just give me about an hour." I winked at him and then examined his filthy clothes and skin. "You better take a shower when you're done too." I turned around and walked away swaying my hips. I glanced back at him when I reached the door, to see he was watching me with a big dopey looking grin on his face.

* * *

If any of the girls in that magazine were dressed, they were dressed in a costume. There was a nurse, a maid, a policewoman, and there was even one woman dressed up like a cat. I didn't have any of those particular costumes here, but there were plenty of cheerleader uniforms in the lockers in the change rooms. I was sure that guys were in to cheerleaders, I think that was why just about every girl at my school wanted to be one. I never did, as their schedule clashed with band practice, but I could be one for a night, if it would make Daryl happy.

I took time to shower, making sure every inch of my body was clean, and then went to the mirrors to make my face up with what I had found in the students lockers. Most of it was dried out, and I had nearly forgotten how to apply it, as I hadn't used any for near on two years, but the finished product was smokey and sultry and sexy, and that was the look I was going for. I let my hair dry naturally, tumbled over my shoulders, knowing it would curl and add to the sultry look. I slipped into the orange skirt that only just covered my backside, and a white and orange tank with ' _Green Mount Cats'_ on the front and an image of a panther on the back with ' _Parans futura'_ written underneath. I checked out my reflection in the mirror. It was the first time in my life I had ever felt sexy, and I was sure Daryl was going to love it. I wrapped a towel around my shoulders and then stealthily made my way through the corridors and back up stairs.

Once inside I positioned myself on the desk with my legs crossed and feet dangling in the air, and my chest pressed forward to exaggerate what little I had in the chest department, and I waited for him to come through the door. After waiting anxiously for around twenty minutes, with my dangling feet becoming numb, the door handle slid down, and the door was slowly pushed open. Daryl stepped through the door opening, dressed only in his jeans, carrying his clothes and boots under his arm, with his short hair dripping water over his broad shoulders.

He took one look at me, dropped everything in his arms to the floor and then backed into the door to shut it behind him.

"What the fuck are you wearin'?" He asked me with unexpected vehemence in his voce.

I pushed myself off the desk dropping to the floor lightly and I strolled over to him by the door, switching my hips as seductively as possible.

"We're gonna play a game." I grinned at him lasciviously, and ran my hand over his warm, damp chest. "I'm gonna be the naughty student who gets sent to the principal's office."

He grabbed my hand between his to still my movement and glared down at me.

"For Christ's sake Beth, you think I like bein' reminded how much older I am 'an you?" He pushed past me and stormed into the middle of the room, flicking his arms up in the air angrily. "You think I like fuckin' with little high school girls or somethin'. That what you think I am? Some kinda pervert?"

I stepped forward and grabbed hold of his flailing arms to still them.

"Did you think that maybe _I'm_ the one who likes… _fucking_...with an older man?"

He stilled in my grip, and his eyes ran over my body from toe to head, taking in my new appearance. I could tell every muscle in his face was fighting that smirk, but when it appeared it was glorious.

"C'mon. It's just for fun. I promise you'll like it."

"You do look kinda cute." The smirk finally exploded into a smile, and his face flushed pink.

"Now Principal Dixon, you have to sit in your chair." I tugged him by his wrist over to the principal's desk and gently pushed him so he fell back into the chair.

I tossed my head to the side innocently and circled my finger across the desk, while I twirled my bare foot into the floor.

"I've been a bad, _bad_ girl Principal Dixon and I need to be punished."

Daryl leaned forward in the chair, resting his elbows on the arm rests, and began rubbing a hand through his beard, twisting the ends in his fingers, looking like a cop who was about to hear a much anticipated confession.

"You have?"

"Yesss" I hissed, as I put my hands behind my back and swung my shoulders slowly from side to side trying to look innocent and sinful at the same time.

His hand left his beard and he began rubbing his fingers together by his face.

He flicked a finger towards me; "What did you do Miss Greene?"

"Well Principal Dixon." I walked my fingers across his arm that lay on the armrest of the chair, and circled my fingers across the back of his hand. "I started something and I didn't finish it. And it's very _very_ naughty to start things and not finish them."

"It is. What did you start and not finish?"

I dropped down to my knees in between his legs, and plucked at his belt, loosening it from the buckle. I turned my eyes up to him and watched his face as I pulled it from the loops and then started unbuttoning his pants. He was watching me with a look of shock and awe and stunned anticipation in his eyes, and he held my gaze as he lifted his hips so I could tug his jeans down to his ankles.

I reached my hand around the base of his half erect shaft and ran it gently along him, pulling along the soft skin and lengthening it out. He let out a gentle moan and his apple bobbed as he swallowed. Still keeping my eyes on him I brushed the base of my lower lip over his end, until it had slipped under the bottom of it, and then I rubbed his end gently along the inside of my lip.

"This." I hissed, before flicking my tongue out so it just brushed his skin, curious of his reaction.

He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped down on the arms of the chair.

"Yes you did Miss Greene, and that was very _very_ bad." His voice was strained and barely above a whisper.

I took my tongue to the base of his shaft where my hand was firmly placed, and ran it upwards along the underside of him, feeling the skin shift under the pressure of my tongue. He seemed to grow longer and thicker in my hand as I moved along. Once I had reached the end I rolled my tongue under and over the ridges, licking upwards like I was trying to stop the drips from a melting ice-cream.

Keeping my eyes on him to watch his reaction I flicked my tongue daintily through the groove in the middle, just as had been suggested in the magazine. He jumped and tensed when I did it.

"Don't you like it?" I asked, keeping his end on my lips.

"No, I fuckin' love it. Keep goin'."

I obeyed, taking the end of him in my mouth and repeating the action of my tongue running through his groove, while my lips pressed around the end of him. He groaned, and sighed and fought to keep his eyes on me.

I rolled my tongue back under the ridge of his end, and then dragged my tongue and lips back to the tip of him together in one fluid motion, as if I was popping a lollipop in and out of my mouth. I repeated this several times, keeping my eyes raised and observant of his reactions. I began moving my hand up and down his shaft to meet with the movements of my mouth, using the wetness that was trickling from my mouth to lubricate the action. He was at his full length and thickness now, and there was barely room for him in my mouth, but I still swirled my tongue around him as much as I could, while I bobbed my head up and down, trying to take in more and more of him with every downward thrust.

I had read about _'deep throat'_ in that magazine, and it seemed like an impossible thing to do, especially with someone who was so large, but I attempted to simulate it as much as possible, by pushing him in as far as I could and using my hands to cover what I couldn't with my mouth. The first time he hit the back of my throat, my reflex was to gag. So I kept still for a moment, dropping my eyes in concentration, and allowing myself to adjust to the new sensation. Once I had control I eased him further into my mouth.

"Holy fucking fuck." Daryl cried, and I looked up at him to see his eyes were closed, and his face was flushed and sweaty.

I drew him out of me again a few inches and then slowly put him back forcing him in a little further again. He groaned and put both hands to the side of my head, guiding me as I moved up and down, while he gently thrust his hips towards me. It didn't take all that many strokes, before he started twitching and wriggling and panting heavily.

He took his hands away from my head and gripped them down on the arm rest. "You better stop, Greene. You're 'bout to get a mouth load."

That was the point of the entire exercise.

Ignoring him, I gripped my hand tight around his shaft and made my movements quicker and firmer, pushing my tongue against him and sucking when I got to the end, before plunging him back into my throat. I did this only for a short time, before he let out a loud groan and I felt him quiver and convulse, inside my throat. I could feel the warmth spurting out into me, and I moved him on to my tongue so I could taste him. I looked up at him while he spat the last few times onto my waiting tongue, and I savoured the unusual and salty taste for just a second before swallowing it.

I wrapped my tongue around his end and gave it one last suck, and then wiped along my mouth with the back of my hand to clean up any mess I had made.

He continued to pant heavily while looking down on me, the slyest of grins playing on his lips.

"So, Have I redeemed myself?"

"Fuck yes."

He leaned forward and put his rough hands under my arms and stood lifting me to a standing position before him. He stooped down, pressing his shoulder into my chin and ran has hands down my skirt and over my backside and then up to my hips patting his hands around like he was looking for something that wasn't there. He pulled away from me slightly so I could see his face, and now his grin was replaced with a look of shock.

"Miss Greene. Are you wearin' panties?"

I lifted up the hem of my cheerleaders skirt to show him I wasn't.

"Oops, I must have forgotten to put them on this morning." I batted my eyes innocently up at him.

He groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Well you know I'm gonna have to punish you again now?"

"You are?"

"I am. I can't have you comin' to my school not wearin' any panties."

He put both hands to my bare backside and slid them down to my thighs, and pulled forward and upwards so my legs wrapped around his hips.

"What are you gonna do to me, Mr Dixon?" I asked with a voice tight in mock concern.

"Well I'll have to examine the damage, so I can think of a suitable punishment."

He turned around and dropped me on to the desk, and then hooked the base of the chair with his foot and rolled it over so he could sit in it. He gently pushed on my chest so I leant back, and I supported myself on my arms so I could watch what he was doing. He pushed aside the folds of my skirt so they were high on my hips and then put his hands to my knees, so my thighs dropped to the side. A shudder ran through me along with a feeling of anxiety as I felt myself open up before him like a flower bud to the dawn light.

"Oh dear, Miss Greene. Lucky you're not wearin' any panties, 'cause you seem to have wet yourself."

I giggled at him, thinking of how wet I had been while I had been sucking on him. I had felt it drip and slide down my thighs, like rain against a window pane. I was amazed at how excited I had become just by giving him pleasure.

He moved his flushed, smirking face towards the centre of my thighs and I tossed my head back as his hot breath on my skin sent a pulse through all my sensitive spots. He placed soft, slow and wet kisses along my thigh and my legs started trembling in anticipation. I put my feet on to his shoulders in an effort to steady them as his kisses drew closer and closer to the sweet spot.

I let out a load groan when his lips brushed against it, and my shaking arms gave way, so I fell back on to the desk with a thud.

I heard him snigger, and then his tongue was on it, flicking against it ever so softly at first, and then moulding it and massaging with a sensually rough force.

I pulled myself back up and moved one of my hands to his hair and wished he had kept it long so I had something to hold on to.

He continued to flick and spiral his tongue around my sweet spot while I moaned and groaned and tilted my hips back and forth encouraging him to arouse me further.

He slid his tongue downwards, slipping it between my lips and then flicked it teasingly around my entry. I wrapped my fingers around his short tufts of hair and tugged against him, just wanting him to delve his tongue inside me.

He trailed his hands down my thighs while he continue to twirl his tongue around the opening, while his top lip massaged against my throbbing and tingling pearl.

His finger replaced his lip, and he began rolling over me gently in a circular motion. I groaned again, while tilting my hips forward encouraging him to press harder. His finger slipped down between my lips and straight into my quivering opening and I cried out at the sudden appeasement of my desires.

I could feel his finger inside of me, rubbing and curling and twisting, while his tongue found its way back to my sweet spot and flicked back and forth over it.

I moaned loudly now as waves of pleasure took hold of me, building in my chest and drifting downwards over my shoulders and arms, and down through my belly, and then exploding right into his mouth.

"Holy…fucking…Christ!" I squealed between waves.

"The name's Daryl." He murmured against me. The vibrations of his lips made my whole body shudder and convulse.

"Daryl!" I cried up to the ceiling.

"That's hrmmmph." I smothered his sound, as I pushed his face in between my legs encouraging him to continue.

He did as he was bidden, while I writhed and moaned, and squealed and squirmed, until I was trembling so much, I couldn't hold myself up on the table, or keep my legs on his shoulders.

My feet slid off and landed on the armrest of the chair, and my knees dropped to the side in utter exhaustion. Daryl removed his face from between my legs and looked over my sweat covered, panting body.

He wiped a hand over his chin to remove what I had left behind and then smirked at me, his eyes full of knowledge that he had complete control over me.

"Maybe…you should…cut that off too." I sighed out between pants.

He shook his head slowly.

"Nope. That's my manhood right there." He grinned at me and then stood up to show me his fully erect penis. He wrapped his hand around it and gave it a gentle shake. "That, and this of course."

"You're ready again?" I asked, forcing myself upwards to examine him.

"Uhuh." He put his hands to my backside and slid me off the table and onto his bent thighs. I wriggled my way off them and put my feet to the floor.

"Just hold on a minute." I stepped around him, pulling him with me as I went so his back was now to the desk, and I reached beside him and opened one of the drawers and shuffled though it looking for my next prop.

"Now were gonna switch, I'll be the teacher…" I slipped on the principals reading glasses, which were too big, but would still give me the look of authority. "And you be the school boy."

"I like where this is headin'." He said with a smirk.

"I bet you were real naughty when you were in school." I said in a raspy, seductive voice.

"A bit."

"Did you get punished?" I leaned forward searching the desk for my next prop.

He hesitated for a second and dropped his eyes before replying. "Yep"

"Like this?" I wrapped my hand around the ruler and snapped it across the top of his backside.

I smiled at first as I leant forward and examined the pink welt that appeared, and then my eyes rested on the dark puckered lines on his skin that criss-crossed all over his back.

How could I be so stupid! I had got so caught up in the moment, my head was in a heady daze of desire, and all I had thought about was how excited I was when he was rough with me the other day in the bathroom. I didn't stop to think that he had been punished in a similar way by his father.

As I drew my head back and my eyes fixed on his, I knew it had been a terrible thing to do.

He was glaring at me; his mouth held in a tight firm line, his brows creased in the centre. His lips quivered and then tuned into a sneer. In a flash, his rough, strong hands were around my neck. He lifted me and tossed me down onto the desk and pressed his thumbs down into my throat, blocking off my air supply. I put my hands to his thick, muscled wrists trying to tug them away. I tried to call his name, but it just came out in a choked whisper.

His voice was thick, and course and filled with hatred.

"I told you if you touched me again. I'd kill you." He snarled into my face.

I coughed and spluttered as I felt his grip getting tighter.

"I'll fuckin' kill you! I'll fuckin' kill you!"

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know when Bob smashed that bottle down on the shelf and it brought the roof down which led to Zach being killed? Bob did a really stupid thing, but it drove the story and led to Beth and Daryl having the super special moment. Beth just did something really stupid, but it was all in the name of the story.
> 
> The next update may take a while as hubby is back in town. Hope I didn't leave you too anxious...


	8. The Flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you wanna make sure somethin' stays gone…You don't bury it. You burn it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So it turns out I lied. I was sick and had the day off today, and I couldn't leave Daryl and Beth in limbo, so I smashed out this chapter. A little shorter than usual but hopefully it'll have everything you need.
> 
> I just wanted to point out in my version of events they never burnt down the cabin (they had sex in it instead), so Daryl never got to symbolically say goodbye to the past…
> 
> Song: Safe & Sound - Taylor Swift, from the hunger games. Listen to it while you're reading...it'll make you cry :(

 

* * *

_It's past midnight when I trudge up the gravel driveway and on to the porch of the piece of shit shack that my old man and I call home. He's either still awake or he's passed out in front of the TV again, as I can see the blue light flickering through the half drawn curtains on the front window. I step to the door and knock the dirt out of my boots by kicking them against the door frame. I hear him cough inside and I realise he's still awake._

_Well may as well get this over with._

_I pull the screen door open and it creaks and groans and shudders in my hand. The wood is worn and the paint is peeling and half of the wire mesh has fallen to shit, I don't even know why we keep the damn useless thing on the door, except maybe so my old man knows when I'm trying to creep through the house._

_The solid wood door is a foot ajar and I push it a few inches further so I can slip past it. I have to walk past the living area to get to the back of the house, and I have to walk past him, but maybe if he is engrossed in his TV show, he won't notice._

_I see him there on the couch with his eyes glued to the TV screen. He glances up at me as I pass by, but his eyes only linger for a second before returning to their place. Internally, I give a relieved sigh thinking maybe I'll escape the backlash tonight._

_I step into the kitchen area and put my bag down on the counter then I move to the sink to get a glass and fill it with tap water. I take a few mouthfuls and then tip the rest down the sink. He would kick my ass if he caught me doing that dumb shit. I turn around to check if he is watching, and catch my breath when I see he is standing in the part of the room where the kitchen and living areas meet, eyes fixed on me._

_I freeze for a few moments wondering what move to make. There is only one way out from behind the kitchen counters, he is right near it, and there's an empty bourbon bottle within arm's reach. If he's mad enough he won't hesitate to crack that thing over my head._

_I end our stand off when I edge towards the counter and dodge my way around it and make a bee line for my bedroom. His hoarse voice stops me._

_"Daryl." He calls._

_I stop in my tracks. I could make a run for it. I could try making it to my room and slamming the door and propping a chair under the handle, but that always makes him angry, and I've lost three doors that way. I stop and turn to face him._

_His face is haggard, his lip is still swollen and his jaw is a mottled mixture of purple and green, his eyes are dark and I see something in them, something I haven't seen before. The unfamiliarity in his glare unnerves me. He looks dangerous._

_"I'm sorry son."_

_I step backwards and almost collapse as I lose all feeling in my legs. I've never heard the words from his mouth._

_"I'm sorry 'bout hittin' you the other day."_

_Other day? What about all the other shit before?_

_"I was never meant to raise no kids on my own. I don't know what I was doin'. No-one ever taught me right...certainly not your no good granddaddy…but I know I shouldna..."_

_I know what that look in his eyes is now. It's a look that I have given him for years. Its fear._

_I've scared him._

_He had wanted me to go hunting with him, but Merle was getting back from Fort Benning, and he had wanted to take me over to Jake's to catch up with some of the boys. I hadn't seen him for eighteen months while he was doing his training, and I had missed him like crazy. I told my old man I wasn't going with him and he lost his shit. I had turned to leave and he smacked me in the back of the head with the butt of his hunting rifle. I had near been knocked out, falling to my knees and gripping on to the leg of the rickety dining room chair to try to keep my balance while my head was spinning around the room._

_I had snapped then. I had propelled myself of the chair, wound up as I turned and swung my fist into his sagging, wrinkled face. I had pummelled him to the ground and then I had laid a few boots into him while he lay there unconscious in a puddle of his own piss, shit and moonshine scented vomit._

_I could have killed him then, and I think a part of me wanted to, but he was my dad, and as much as I hated the fucker, I couldn't kill my own father. So I rolled him on to his side, cleared the vomit from his mouth and got the fuck out of the house._

_Now I was back three days later, and the bitch was scared of_ me.

_I took a step towards him and then another, he stepped away from me until his back hit against the wall behind him. I stopped a few feet in front of him._

_"If you ever touch me again, I'll fucking kill you."_

_He never did touch me again._

* * *

I had my mother's looks. I had her fuller cheekbones, and narrower jaw. Merle always looked more like my dad, with the broad, Cro-Magnon forehead, and the jaw that was always thick as if it were held in tension.

The person I held between my hands didn't look like Merle, or my dad. Her skin was soft and smooth like peaches and cream, her blonde hair was like pale gold spiralling down over her rounded shoulders. Her eyes were a clear blue, circled by dark lashes with black colour running down on to her flushed cheeks.

My fingers splayed and she dropped from my hands and down to the desk, coughing and spluttering and raking her fingers over the red skin on her neck.

I backed away in a dazed state of shock, tripping on the chair behind me and stumbling into the aluminium blinds that covered the window.

I looked down to my trembling hands half expecting them to be covered in blood, but they were clean. I could still feel her in my hands. Her blood pulsating, her throat gulping as it struggled to grab a breath.

The howling laughter shook me from my state and I looked across the room to see my old man leaning his back against the wall while he slapped his hand against his knee, swamp dweller style.

 _"You nearly killed her. You nearly fuckin' killed her."_ He cackled hoarsely between his croaking howls.

I looked back to the oak desk to see Beth, rubbing against her throat, while she gulped and coughed and gasped in air. Her eyes were fixed on me, wide open with fear.

Faster than a buck with a bee sting, I grabbed up my jeans and yanked them over my legs not bothering with the belt. I shot over to the door and tugged my boots on not bothering with the laces. I slipped on my flannel not bothering to do up the buttons. I kept my eyes to the ground the entire time, not wanting to see her, and not wanting to see him.

" _You were about to fuck her…and then you tried to kill her. That's some fucked up gold star entertainment right there."_ My old man cackled on.

I grabbed my duffle bag and shoved my poncho, the AR-15, and a Beretta inside. I scooped up my Airborne and slung it over my shoulder and turned to leave.

Rethinking it all I stopped in my tracks, dropped everything back to the ground, checked the Beretta had a round in the chamber, and then pulled on the door handle.

_Don't look back._

I couldn't help myself; I at least had to see that she was okay. I took one last glance over my shoulder to see she was standing in front of the desk, with her bare knees knocking together, her shoulders hunched over and her terrified blue eyes leaping out against her ghostly pale face. Her eyes were lined with dark shadows of wet mascara that ran down her cheeks like blood from a seeping wound.

I squeezed my eyes shut and stepped blindly through the door slamming it shut behind me. Opening my eyes I marched down the dark hall with the Beretta heavy in my hand.

_"What you gonna do with that son? You gonna blow your own brains out? That really is the pussy's way out."_

I tucked the gun into the waist of my jeans.

"I gotta leave." I snarled at him.

"Don't leave." I heard Beth's soft voice call out from behind me.

I stopped in my stride for a split second, her voice tugging at my heart like a kite on a string, I shook the feeling away and then continued on towards the main stairwell.

"Daryl, don't leave." She cried again.

I stomped down the stairs and threw my swollen, aching shoulder into the front door to swing it open, and then took a sharp left, vaulting over the low brick wall to land in the dirt beside the fat boy. I threw my leg over the seat, and went to kick out the kicker.

"Don't leave!" Beth shrieked as she tumbled over the wall after me, sending up a dirt cloud as she landed by my feet.

I wanted to help her up but all I could do was stare at her.

"You said you never would leave me." She cried as she tugged on my jeans, and pulled herself to a stand. "You promised. You promised!"

I forced myself to look into her weeping eyes.

"I nearly fuckin' killed you." My voice was surprisingly steady.

My old man jumped on the bitch seat behind me, and nudged his knees in to me, urging me on like a stallion. _"C'mon son, let's get outta here."_

"Shut the fuck up." I yelled as I jumped off the bike and took a swing at him hitting nothing but air.

"Daryl, what is going on?" Beth shrieked while throwing her arms to the side.

I put my fists to my head and squeezed against my throbbing temples.

"I'm losing my fuckin' mind!" I shrieked back. "I gotta leave before I hurt you again…or one of the kids. Fuck, if it had've been one of them instead of you…I would've snapped their little necks!"

Beth lunged towards me tryin to grip me around the shoulders, and I pushed her backwards with enough force to make her stumble.

"I wanted to leave! I wanted to leave before, but I didn't…I couldn't…and look what I did." I pointed to the red finger marks around her tiny throat.

"That wasn't you, Daryl."

"Who was it then? Santa Clause? You wanna wait 'round and see what other surprises I have for you in my sack?"

"But it wasn't _me_ who you saw was it? You need help! Let me help you!"

I shook my head from side to side rapidly. "I'm too far gone…like Carol. You said yourself; sometimes there's no comin' back."

"Carol was different. We made the mistake of leavin' her alone and she lost herself to darkness. But you don't have to be alone, Daryl. I'm here, I can shine a light for you and show you the way, but if you leave there's nothin' I can do. You'll get lost out there. Alone. In the dark."

"Carols not different, we're the same. Beth, I…" I let out a sob as I thought about what I had done to her. "Beth I hurt you just like Carol did, just like Anton."

"What do you mean?"

"The other day in the bathroom…If you told me to stop…I don't know that I would've."

She stood there without talking for a few moments, her shoulders heaving as she took in deep breaths.

"I didn't say stop, Daryl."

_"You would've raped her. She would've been screamin' and cryin and beggin' for you to stop and you would've kept goin'. 'cause you wanted to be in control, you wanted to take what you needed, you don't let anyone stand in your way…you're just like me."_

_"_ Shut-up!" I shrieked falling to my knees and covering my ears with my forearms. "Shut up! shut up! shut up!"

Beth fell to the ground in front of me.

"You're hearin' things, Daryl. There's no-one there." She tried to pry my arms away from my ears, her tiny hands clinging on to the skin on my wrists.

"No." I tugged out of her grip by throwing my weight back, and fell flat on my ass. My dad's laughter continued to howl through the air.

"You hit your head." She climbed on top of me and started grabbing at my arms as I struggled to push her off. "You're not well." She cried.

 _"She's the only person who ever loved you and you were gonna_ rape _her, you were gonna_ kill _her."_

"No." I sobbed up towards the stars.

"Daryl, there's no-one there!"

She wrapped her arms around my head and pulled it into her chest, lifting my shoulders off the ground as she went.

"There's no-one there." She whispered into my ear, as I let out loud sobs, and flooded her vest with tears.

"There's no-one there."

I could still hear him, cackling and croaking.

I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame, and pulled myself tight in to her; Losing myself in her comforting warmth and familiar smell. I kept my face buried in her chest, not wanting to open my eyes and see my old man mocking me again for acting like a weepy bitch.

I sobbed into the letters on the front of her vest, while my hands pawed at the panther on her back. My mind pulsated and burned with confused thoughts. I wanted to leave her, I couldn't hurt her again, but I needed her. I needed her more than she needed me.

She pulled me away from her chest and looked down on me with her tearful blue eyes. "Please Daryl. Please come inside." She begged me in a soothingly soft voice.

I stared at her, not able to find the words to respond.

"I know you didn't want to hurt me, I know I'm safe with you, but only if you let me help you."

I wanted her words to be true. But as long as he was in my head, I couldn't guarantee anything.

"Please. My backside is freezin'." She said with a nervous chuckle.

I reluctantly let her pull me to my feet, battling with the part of me that said to run the other direction. She interlocked her fingers with mine and dragged me around the low wall and up the steps to the school. When we got to the door, I glanced back to the bike to see my dad sitting on it with his arms open wide, waiting for me.

_"Where're you goin' son? Thought we was goin' for a ride."_

I shook his voice from my head, and followed her back up the stairs and through the dark corridors, keeping my head down and watching my shuffling feet all the way back to the room.

She sat me down on the sofa arm and dropped to her knees to tug off my boots, and then with a gentle hand, she pushed me backwards so I was lying flat on my back staring up at the ceiling fan.

The lamp light went off, and then I felt her crawling in beside me. She pulled my head on to her chest and began running her fingers through my hair, drawing circles back and forth across my scalp.

"Have you slept at all the last few days?"

I know I didn't that first night; I lost a few moments the next night, so it was possible I slept then, but everything over the last few days had been such a blur.

"I dunno. Maybe a couple hours." I muttered.

"No wonder." She sighed into the darkness. "We're gonna talk about what's goin' on with you, but not until you've had some sleep."

I shook my head against her chest

"I can't sleep." I admitted. Every time I tried the voices would get louder, and the things they said would get darker.

"…do you want me to sing for you, help you get to sleep, like I did for Judith?"

"A lullaby?"

"No. You don't need to hear about ashes or cradles fallin' out of trees."

She cleared her throat that I had my hands wrapped around only moments ago, trying to squeeze out its last breath.

"Close your eyes." She whispered.

I obeyed.

_I remember tears streaming down your face_   
_When I said, "I'll never let you go"_   
_When all those shadows almost killed your light_   
_I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"_   
_But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight_

_Just close your eyes_   
_The sun is going down_   
_You'll be alright_   
_No one can hurt you now_   
_Come morning light_   
_You and I'll be safe and sound_

* * *

It was past midday when I woke up. The room was bright, with golden yellow light, and it was quiet enough to hear the ticking of the clock, and a soft scratching sound.

I rolled over on the sofa and scanned the room looking for my old man, he had been following me around for days now, whispering shit in my ear, but I couldn't see him now.

Beth's face emerged from beside the sofa and I looked down at her hands to see the scratching sound was her scribbling in her journal. She closed it and put it to the side, grabbed a bottle of water and held it out for me.

I took it gratefully, popped the lid and took a few gulps. My mouth was a dry mixture of cotton balls and ass holes, and the cool water was refreshing.

I glanced to the clock on the wall. It was 4pm.

"Shit I been out almost twenty-four hours." I muttered while rubbing crusts from my eyes.

Beth chuckled lightly. "No, You've been out for nearly two days."

No wonder my stomach was groaning and churning on air.

"You and the kids okay?"

"Yeah we're fine. There were a few walkers at the gate after all the yellin' the other night, but we took care of them."

"Where're the kids now?"

"They're all watchin' a movie. I've been sittin' in here, waitin' for you to wake up."

"Oh." I wondered how long she had been there for, and how much of that time she had spent singing to me. It was all I could remember from my dreams.

Beth took the water bottle out of my hands, and stood it by the side of the sofa. She rested her head back on the arm of the sofa and scanned my face with her big blues.

"Do you feel like talking?"

I held her gaze, even though instinct told me to look away.

"I don't know. I don't know what to talk about. I don't even know what happened."

"I think you had a head injury Daryl; the headaches, the mood swings, the voices. You were hearing voices right?"

"…Yeah."

"Are you hearin' voices now?"

I sat quiet for a moment, listening to the sounds of the clock ticking away, and of our synchronized breathing, as it blew against the leather of the sofa.

"No. I think they're gone."

"Who was it?"

I hesitated wondering what the least crazy sounding answer would be.

"My dad."

"Why would your mind make your dad talk to you?"

"I dunno. I'm no psycho analyst."

"And it was your dad you saw…when you hurt me?"

"Mmm Hmm."

"That was my fault, I shouldn't have hit you, it was so stupid."

"No…it wasn't that...he was there before any of that."

"Did somethin' happen that day─ the day you hit your head─ that made you think of him?"

I squeezed my eyes together, trying to fight away the images that were flashing though my head. I didn't want to tell her what had happened ─or almost happened─ but I had to give her something.

"I've been fightin' for my life for years, but I always fought knowin' that I would either win or die tryin'. With those guys…with them it felt like the only way to win was to die."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I was completely out of control. I'd never felt so weak before, not since I was a kid… And then my dad was all up in my head, fuckin' with my mind. All this shit came up that I thought I had buried."

"If you wanna make sure somethin' stays gone…You don't bury it. You burn it."

I looked back to her soft angelic face.

"How exactly do I do that?"

"You talk about it…you talk about it until you understand it, and then its nothin' but smoke blowin' in the wind."

"I don't wanna talk about it. I wanna forget it."

"But you haven't forgotten have you? You bottled it all inside for years. You were waitin' to explode. That bump on your head, it spilled everythin' out, and you weren't ready for it. You gotta talk about it now, while you're in a safe place, so that doesn't happen again."

"What're you a doctor now, Greene?"

She stood up, and climbed onto the sofa beside me, sitting with her legs crossed and her hands resting on her knees, lotus style.

"You can call me Dr Greene."

"Alright Dr Greene, what do I do now?"

She slipped her hand into mine.

"Tell me…about you childhood."

"It was shit. You know that."

"Well…what did you like to do...you know, for fun?"

"Ride my bike, go fishin'…I watched cartoons sometimes."

"What did you watch?"

"Stuff on Saturday mornin's…This one time, my dad was passed out on this piece of shit sofa we had. There was nothin on the TV but some early mornin' bible show. I changed the channel to cartoons and he lost his shit at me. Jumped up, started screamin' 'bout me touchin' his shit. Ripped the cable out the back of the TV and whipped me with it like a dirty yard dog."

Beth swallowed gently.

"That where the scars come from?"

"Some of 'em."

There was a long silence and the words loomed in the air while I looked to my twitching feet, and watched from the corner of my eye as Beth pouted at me. I honestly couldn't remember where all my scars had come from. I was unconscious for half of them.

"Tell me about your momma." Beth said, breaking the silence.

"She was alright."

"Just alright?"

"She liked her wine, and she smoked like a monkey in a side show, but she tried her best. Merle used to give her a real hard time, he was always in trouble, and she was always breakin' up fights between him and my dad... She baked cookies and shit when she wasn't comin' off a bender."

"Did you like that?"

"She was an awful cook. But I liked it."

"…and then she died?"

"Yeah. And it was just me and Merle and my old man."

"Tell me about him… What did he do for work?"

"When I was a baby he worked in a slaughterhouse. Hurt his back or somethin' and got an insurance pay out…that's what we lived off. 'course there was nothin wrong with his back, he was just a lazy fucker who didn't wanna go in to work."

"Do you wanna tell me about the first time...That he hit you?"

I twitched nervously, and sighed to release some of the anxious tension.

"I don't much remember the first time…but I remember the first time he tried."

"Tell me."

"It was over somethin' stupid…I left my bike in the drive, or I forgot to take the trash out, some shit like that. He started throwin' me 'round and Merle jumped in, screamed at him ' _If you touch my brother, I'll kill you!_ '…So my dad near killed him, instead."

"That's…awful."

"He ended up in hospital and all, said he fell of his bike. When he got out he beat on a kid in school, hurt 'im real bad, ended up back in juvie."

Beth pressed her lips together while her eyes searched my face.

"He was in and out of Juvie all the time…I think he liked it there…it was safe… So after that it was just me and my dad."

"And things got bad then?"

Like a massacre in a nunnery.

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

I pulled myself up and wrapped my hands around my knees, rubbing my fingers into the frayed denim, trying to find strength to talk about things I had never spoke to anyone about. Not ever.

"What do you wanna know, Greene?" I said, snappier than I intended.

"I dunno, I'm just tryna understand…"

"Do you wanna know how he strangled me with a tube sock? Or how 'bout the time he held my head in a bucket. You know how much it hurts to breath in water?"

She shook her head.

"You wanna know about the time he beat me so bad they had to rebuild my face?"

"Daryl." She reached forward in an effort to hug me and I shrugged her off.

"Car accident he told 'em, and they believed 'im. He fucked me up so bad that they believed I was hit by a mothafuckin' car. A car!"

Beth forcefully grabbed my head and pulled it on to her shoulder.

I was holding back tears, but I could feel them brimming to the surface, ready to explode.

"My mom left, and then Merle, and I was _alon_ e…with him." I mumbled into the soft skin of her shoulder. The tears ran down the sides of my nose, and this time I didn't try to stop them.

"I don't wanna be alone." I wrapped my arms around her, and pressed my wet face into her neck, and sobbed freely into her hair; releasing years of pent up fear and tension.

"I don't wanna be alone!"

"I'm so sorry, Daryl. I feel stupid. I've been sheltered…everythin' I've been through…all the shit in this world, it's nothin' like what he did to you. For someone who is supposed to love and protect you to do that for so long, and to such extremes…it's worse than anythin' else. I didn't know how bad the world was before…but I do now...and I know what was hurting you, and we know how to stop it so it doesn't hurt you again."

She took my face between her palms and drew away from me so her eyes were only inches from mine.

"I'll never leave you Daryl Dixon, Never! Even when I die and I turn into a walker, I'll drag you down and I'll…I'll eat your heart out so it'll always be with me."

I snuffled, and wiped a fat tear from the tip of my nose.

"That's gross…and a lil' creepy."

"I know…but I mean it! I'll eat you all up like peach cobbler."

"You're not gonna eat me, 'cause I'm not gonna let anythin' happen to you. I'll die a happy man as long as I know you're safe."

"No, Daryl, _you're_ gonna be the last man standing. You know why? Cause you're a survivor. You're a tough son of a bitch who won't take no crap from nobody, not even me. You're strong and you can get through anythin'."

"And you gotta stick 'round to remind me of that."

Beth chuckled softly.

"I guess we'll have to eat each other then."

I felt a smile tug at my lips, and I let it linger for a moment, before drawing my mouth back into the firm line I had been holding for most of the past few days.

"There's somethin' else isn't there?" She peered up in to my eyes. She could read me like a book.

If the school were ever to be attacked, the place was too big and there were too many of us to manage without proper leadership. And if we had of had other adults here to come on runs, all this shit ─being outnumbered, hitting my head, going nuts and hurting Beth─ it never would have happened.

"I miss my brother."

"Merle? He made you feel safe, huh?"

I gave my head a gentle shake.

"No, not Merle..." I had to catch my breath at the memory of him and what he said to me that day by the truck. He had called me brother and made it official that I was part of his family. I needed him, not only as a leader but as a friend. "Rick."

Beth's hand left my cheek and squeezed my hand and she gave me a sympathising smile.

"We'll go to Washington."

"You want to?"

"Yeah. I miss everyone, and I know you can't do this all on your own. I know we need them."

I couldn't do it on my own. I liked the kids. I liked being here with Beth. I liked the school. But it was nothing without my family.

"What about the kids?"

"Well if when we get there they won't take them. I'll hang back and you can go find the others, see what's up. Bring them back to the school if they'll come. If they haven't found anythin' better."

I didn't like that idea; Leaving Beth alone with all the kids while I searched through Washington. If we got there and they wouldn't take in the kids, I would have to think up another plan, but I wasn't going to worry about that now. I just smiled at Beth in agreement.

"When you're feelin' better, you can teach me how to drive the bus. If we end up having to split, you'll need the bike. And It's kinda a part of you right?"

"I like it, but it's just somethin' to give me an edge."

"You deserve somethin' to give you an edge."

I smiled at her, and then wiped the last of the tears from my face with the back of my hand.

"You know I love you right?"

She moved her hand from my cheek and rubbed it over my chin. "I know."

She dipped her head forward and took my lips gently between hers, and fluttered a kiss on them.

My stomach growled interrupting our moment, and Beth giggled in reaction.

"Think you deserve somethin' to eat, too"

* * *

Beth made a chicken and vegetable soup for dinner that night. I was so hungry I ate four bowls and still could have gone for another, if the kids didn't snap it all up.

All the kids seemed to avoid me that evening, keeping their eyes down when I passed. I knew I had been awful to them the last few days, with all that was going on in my head, and I would have to make it up to them somehow. Watch the little mermaid with them or something.

There was one kid I knew I had hurt more than anyone else, and I knew I shouldn't wait to make it up to him.

When everyone went to the kitchen to clean up after dinner I pulled him aside.

"Can I talk to you?" I tugged gently on his shoulder trying to get him to follow me out of the room.

"Nah, I'm busy." He shrugged me away.

"C'mon it'll only take a second." I nodded my head to the open doorway and walked off hoping he would follow.

I walked out the door and a little way down the hall with the sound of his joggers tapping the floor behind me. I turned and stopped him with a hand to his shoulder and knelt before him like a knight would a king.

"I'm real sorry I was nasty to you." I crooked my neck and looked up into his lowered blue eyes, covered with a curtain of dark hair. "And I'm sorry I threatened to hit you. That was wrong. Real wrong. No one should ever do that to you, not me and not your daddy."

Austin's eyes rose to meet mine, and I sighed against the rush of emotions I felt seeing the hurt within them.

"I wasn't feelin myself, but I'm doin' much better now, and I'm gonna do all I can to keep you and all the kids safe. I care about you, you're a real cool kid."

I carefully put my hands to his shoulders and tugged against him pulling him into my chest. I wrapped my arms around his tiny frame and gave him a squeeze, and his little arms squeezed me back. There were only a handful of people I had ever hugged in my life; My mom, lil' ass kicker, Beth and now him. I pulled away from him before the sentimentality sunk in and I started crying again.

I brushed away the hair from his brow to reveal a smiling face, and I smiled back at him.

"And Awse."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for savin' my life."

His lips drew back to a tooth filled grin.

"Don't mention it, Da…Daryl."

I sighed, picking up on the mistake he had almost made again.

"I ain't your daddy."

Austin nodded his head.

"I know…you're somethin' much better."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So in-case you still need an explanation; Daryl most likely had a concussion from cracking his head on the concrete floor, made worse by being punched in the head, and he went back to his traumatic childhood as he made the link between being overpowered by O'Reilly and being overpowered by his dad. All of the bad shit he did was because of his dad whispering in his head. Thought disturbances are common with head injury, and apparently treated with rest...but I'm no doctor so I could just be pulling a Hollywood.
> 
> The main point is, we got Daryl to reveal his past that I 99% made up.
> 
> Hope this was satisfactory (I cried when I wrote this...did I make you cry?), and I'm gonna take that break I said I was going to have now.
> 
> Will be back in about a week with a couple of soppy, lemony chapters, and then back to action for the 'season finale'.
> 
> xxx


	9. Making it Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Looks like I lied again! lets just say if I disappear for a while, its because I'm spending time with hubby. This chapter is mainly focused on bringing our protagonists back 'on track'.
> 
> Song: Emily Kinney 'Doctor'
> 
> Yeah, there's another Emily Kinney butchery in here. I guess that's my Normily ship coming through again. It'll be the last one… unless she writes a perfect song for whatever happens between now and the end.

 

Daryl was sleeping soundly with his head tucked under my chin, and his damaged shoulder resting under my breast. His even breaths blew hot against my skin and the steady, rhythmic rise and fall of his chest was almost enough to lull me back to sleep.

I dragged my fingers tentatively over his head, drawing white lines on his scalp as they parted through his hair.

This was the way we had slept the last three nights, with me humming a tune to him to help him drift off, and massaging my fingers through his hair.

The first night I had been pinned under him for nearly twelve hours, before I was able to tug myself from under his weight. He had slept through that whole day, and I had returned to my spot that night, lifting his head to my shoulder and resuming the humming to give him the deep sleep he needed.

It had been a relief when he finally woke yesterday, but the dark circles under his eyes told me he still needed rest, so we had spent the last night in the same embrace and with me humming the new tune I had developed, inspired by recent events.

When I tried to wriggle from under his weight this time, he startled awake, snapped his head up and darted his eyes over the room.

"Somethin' up." His voice was heavy with sleep, but also tense with anxiety.

I chuckled at him lightly, and stroked my hand along the back of his neck.

"Nothin's up. It's just time to get outta bed."

He groaned and stretched, arching his back and pushing his arm up to the sky.

"I better take that dog out huntin', 'fore he goes crazy as a lady in a trailer full of cats." He chuckled at his own remark. "Or a dog for that matter."

"Uh-uh. You aren't goin' nowhere mister."

"Like hell I ain't. I'm getting' mighty tired of chicken and spam."

"I'll go huntin'. Catch you some rabbit, or squirrel, maybe even a nice fat buck."

"Nah Greene, you don' think I'm gonna sit 'round 'ere while you're out there do ya?"

"You'll be fine here. Marie had to keep an eye on you while you were out the other day and I taught her all the basics if somethin' were to happen to you."

"I'm not worried 'bout bein' alone. I'm worried about _you_ bein' alone. Shit, what if you run into a group of crazies like I did the other day? If you came back at all it would be with more than a bump on the head."

He carefully prodded at the puckered skin on his temple, still held together by two small stitches.

"I won't be alone, I'll take Mix. And I won't go far. I'll stay in the woods around the school. I'll be close enough that you can hear my call if anythin' happens."

Daryl screwed his face up and gave his head a firm shake.

"That's a fucked up idea, Greene. I don't like it one bit."

"Don't get all chauvinistic now. You leave _me_ alone all the time in this school… I can hunt, you taught me well, and I want us to share the load 'round here…Let me pull my weight."

"You do pull your weight. Takin care o' all the ankle biters."

I glared at him, showing my annoyance at these hunter gatherer roles that we had come to accept as the norm. Daryl met my glare with a glare of his own, but it quickly softened when my brows creased in seriousness.

"Alright Greene." He squinted at me in a display of false annoyance. "How come you can just look at me and get your own way?"

I tossed my head about innocently. " Maybe 'cause you love me."

"That I do." His eyes stayed focused on mine for a moment, while the smile passed over his lips. Then his brow bunched together in the middle. "I would feel much better about it all if you took Awse."

I nodded my head in agreement. The kid had earned Daryl's respect, and that was all I needed to know to give him mine.

"That would be a really good idea." I pulled my arm out from under his side and made a move to roll to my front.

"And Greene." Daryl called, making me turn back to face him. "What the hell am I gonna do with a school full o' kids on my own?"

* * *

I kept my word to Daryl about not going far out. From our position up the hill, we could still make out Daryl and the kids sitting in the cafeteria courtyard.

When I had left Daryl and the kids, he had been teaching them how to remove the safety from the various types of weapons he had found, and drilling them on what to do in an emergency. It wasn't my idea of a rest of recovery, but the mere fact Daryl Dixon had given up a hunt so he could teach the children anything at all, had my stomach doing flip flops with pride.

Austin walked ahead of me, following Mix who had his nose pressed into the dirt. I held the crossbow cocked and aimed ready to fire at whatever Mix drove out.

Mix found a burrow, and stuck his snout down it, and a few moments later a grey rabbit darted out in front of us.

I pulled the trigger and the arrow went flying into the rabbit's skull.

I smiled to myself in triumph, relived that I could still hit a moving target.

Austin marched over to the bundle of fur excitedly and picked the rabbit up by its hind legs, dangling its arrow skewered head about.

"That was a real good shot, Miss Beth." He grinned back at me.

"You wanna try shootin' the next one?"

"Naw, I dunno. It's kinda hard to use…and heavy." He said pointing at the bow.

"It takes some getting' used to. Come over here and give it another try."

Austin paced back towards me and we swapped bow for rabbit, and I tugged the arrow from the rabbit's skull and looped the length of rope from my shoulder, around the rabbit's neck.

Austin dropped the bow down and braced his foot in the stirrup and began tugging at the string. He grunted and huffed and puffed and his face turned bright red. It only moved a few inches before he gave up, but I was still impressed.

I held out my hand for it and he passed it back, with a pout on his lips.

I put my foot to the stirrup and strained back on the string until it clicked into place.

"I dunno how you do that." His eyes squinted like he was figuring out a math problem.

"I had Daryl lessen the draw weight some time ago, but it's still not easy. It hurts my hands every time." I showed him the fresh welts appearing on my hands and fingers from where the string had grazed my skin. "And it takes a lot longer to load than a gun."

"Why do you use it then?"

I handed the bow back to Austin, and he looked over it like it was an exotic zoo animal.

"It's quiet, and you can re-use the arrows. And 'cause Daryl gave it to me. It's like a little piece of him, and that makes it real special."

Austin's eyes left the bow and turned back to me

"You two love each other don't you?"

"Sure do."

"I should tell you what happened that day…when Daryl hurt his head."

I was about to hand Austin the arrow from the rabbit so I could show him how to load it, but my train of thought fell quickly from hunting to what had happened to Daryl that I didn't already know about.

"Yes. Tell me."

Austin looked down to the crossbow resting on his joggers.

 **"** He had his pants down…I think they mighta…raped him."

My heart suddenly turned into ice; heavy, still, and rigid. I swallowed in an effort to shift the awful feeling, but the ice only dropped downwards, causing my belly to squirm and clench. I knew what it felt like to have that done to you, to have all power taken away from you, to be made to feel like you were nothing. No wonder he had said it made him want to die.

I hoped maybe Austin had it wrong, maybe he didn't know what he was talking about. How could such a horrible word come out of a twelve year old boy's mouth? Before it wouldn't be right for someone so young to know such a word, but things weren't like before.

I managed to pull myself out of my state of shock enough to focus on Austin's pouting face and ask him; "You know what rape is?"

"Yeah…when we first got to the centre, things were bad, until the army people started comin' 'round more... Some people did that to other people… It's when you have sex with someone and they don't want to do it."

I dropped a knee before him, and placed the crossbow he was holding into the dirt. My arms were shaking so bad I had to grip on to Austin's arms to still them. I looked up in to Austin's eyes, partially covered by his long, dark locks.

"It's more than that."

Austin's eye creased like he didn't understand what I was telling him.

"You shouldn't even know about these things…but this world isn't sunshine and rainbows. There are no rules or laws to protect us no more; we can only protect each other. I think you should know what it's all about."

Austin nodded his head and waited for me to proceed.

"It's about power and control, and about weakness and strength. Those that are weak take control of those who are strong to make themselves feel powerful…"

"But if they're weak, how can they get more power than you?"

"It's about strength in here." I said, placing a finger on his breast bone. "They don't have any of it, and they don't want you to have it either."

Austin nodded like he understood what I was saying, and then his eyes dropped back to his shoes, and he began scrapping them through the dirt, slowly, from side to side.

"I tried to protect him." He muttered to the ground. "I had to kill someone…His blood was warm." He held his hands up in front of his face and flexed them open and shut, as if the blood were still sticking to his hands.

I took his hands in mine to still them and gave them a squeeze.

"I'm sorry you had to do that…But you might have to do it again someday…'cause that's what we do to keep the people we care about safe."

Austin looked back to my eyes and nodded.

"I wasn't s'posed to tell you, Daryl didn't want me to."

"You did the right thing by tellin' me. I need to know when big things like that happen, so I can help Daryl handle it."

Now I just had to figure out how I was going to approach the rough and hardened redneck about it.

* * *

Austin had been keen to skin and clean the three rabbits we had caught, so I left him in the courtyard with his knife and a bucket, to do the dirty work. I went wandering through the school, looking for Daryl and the other kids, while trying to think of how or if I was going to bring up what Austin had told me.

The sound of giggles echoing off the walls drew me towards the art room.

I had expected him to be teaching them about how to hold a blade, or pull a grenade pin, or build a fire. Not art.

I had wanted himl to take the kids into the art room ever since he had done that angel wing painting on the gym doors. He had refused, saying he had no patience, but he must have run out of ways to keep the kids entertained during the day. The idea of Daryl teaching anything but survival made me grin from ear to ear.

The door to the room was wide open and I edged my way towards it and leant in on the frame, curious about the state I would find them all in. The kids were completely covered in paint, and were rubbing their hands all over pieces of paper on the art benches, while giggling and chatting to each other. Daryl was sitting in the front row, slightly hunched over as if he were holding on to something. I crept closer silently, not wanting to reveal myself, and felt a whole body flutter when I took in his appearance.

He had paint covering his hands and forearms, and a few war-paint like smudges over his cheek. Winnie was perched on his knee, covered in paint, with her tiny legs dangling by the side of his. She was smearing her hands over the paper in front of her, and Daryl was looking down on her with the most astonishingly beautiful, tranquil look on his face. It reminded me of the times he would nurse Judy. I was amazed at how a man, who was so rough, could look so natural with a child in his arms.

"You put a bit of dark under 'ere and it makes the eyes come out at ya." Daryl said to Winnie as he guided her thumb over the paper on the desk. It was a myriad of colours painted with smudges, swirls, splashes and spots. Somehow the composition of random pattern and colour made a completely recognisable image.

"Is that Merle?" I murmured, as I stepped in closer.

Daryl jumped a little at the sound of my voice, and stiffened when his eyes fell on me, as if he didn't want me to see this softer side of him. But I had seen it, and I liked it very much.

He cleared his throat and then turned back to the image. "Nah." He grunted.

Daryl paused with his hands on the work for a moment and then turned it a little towards me.

"It's my dad."

"I did some too." Winnie told me excitedly.

"So I see." I pulled the painting a little closer to look it over, and then turned back to Daryl, and then to Winnie's bright eyes, circled with flecks of paint.

"Why don't you go wash up?" I told her. "Get everyone else to go too."

Winnie slipped herself off Daryl's lap, and walked to the other kids demanding that they follow her to the bathroom. They bickered among themselves for a few moments, arguing that she couldn't tell them what to do, but I gave them a stern look, and they all filed out of the room obediently.

I turned back to Daryl when we were finally alone.

"Why was she helpin' you paint… _him_?"

Daryl gave his shoulders a shrug.

"An innocent set of hands. Thought she might help keep 'im from lookin' like a monster."

"…But he was a monster."

He shook his head.

"Nah, he was just a sick asshole. A sick asshole with an even sicker asshole for a dad."

"Why did you even paint him?" I asked as I pulled up a stool to sit by him. Daryl leaned back on his stool, and began rubbing his fingers through the hair on his chin, spreading paint around as he went.

"You 'member the night we…" He looked to the ceiling and chuckled lightly. "The night you wanted Cheetos?"

"Yeah."

"You were gonna paint 'em 'cause you forgot what they looked like."

"Did you forget what he looked like?"

Daryl looked back to the painting and began rubbing his fingers over the edges.

"No, I remember. Just he's not here no more. Somethin' like them Cheetos we never had."

He smirked and I forced a smile back at him.

"He's gone. He died out in the ass end of nowhere. He was never buried, we never had no funeral…but I wanna burn him. If you want somethin' to stay gone you gotta burn it, right?"

* * *

We waited until the children were all in bed to burn the painting of his dad. We took it out to the courtyard near where I scrubbed the clothes in the metal wash basket, and Daryl set light to a corner of the page while he held it at arm's length.

The flames licked along the edges, and crept along the face of the page, surging when they reached the paint. When the flames started edging towards his hands, Daryl tossed it into the wash basket and we both watched while his father's face turned black and folded in on itself and then crumbled away into ash.

After Daryl had tossed the ashes into the air, We did the perimeter check together, with our hands interlocked together. I could feel a relaxed air about Daryl. He seemed to carry himself taller, breath a little deeper, and his smile seemed to reach his eyes a little easier.

He seemed so at peace I almost didn't want to bring up what Austin had told me, but I was worried it would be another thing he would try to bury, and it would come back to hurt him later.

We continued pacing around listening to the sounds of the night, while I contemplated what I was going to say, and Daryl checked if there were any weaknesses in the fence. There never were. I couldn't imagine the fence failing us like it did at the prison, not unless someone was to drive a truck through it at high speed. This place really was the best place we had ever found to live; it felt almost criminal to leave it.

"This fence is real secure." I told Daryl, while he was kicking his boot into one of the iron tubes.

"It is." He replied without looking at me.

"And this place is so quiet."

Daryl was still for a moment, taking in the noise of the night. Frogs, cicadas…but no walker growls.

"Yeah." His eyes finally rested on mine.

"It seems such a pity to leave it."

Daryl let out a long sigh, puffing a cloud of mist in to the cool night air.

"I know. But it don't have to be forever."

I dropped my eyes and Daryl gave my hand a re-assuring squeeze. "We can come back with the others. It's just too much for this two man ─plus toddlers─ army."

He put his finger to my chin and lifted my face so our eyes could meet.

"The more people we take in the stronger we are, and all that shit."

We both chuckled remembering it as something the termites had said.

"We gonna start eatin' people now?" I teased.

"Nah. But you know what I mean."

I did know what he meant. We had done fine so far here at the school, but there was always that chance something could go wrong. Just like when those men attacked Daryl. We couldn't take the risk of being alone if people like that, or like the governor ever came to the school.

I squeezed his hand, and then tugged him along so we could complete our checks and get upstairs where it was warmer.

Once upstairs and in the warmth of the office, Daryl slipped out of his vest and shirt and dropped them on to the floor, he toed out of his boots and then made his way over to the window. He slipped a finger between the blind and peered out into the moonlit darkness.

"What're you lookin' for?" I asked him while I finished undressing, myself.

"Just checkin'. Always felt wrong not havin' no-one on watch."

"Mix has done a pretty good job so far. We've never had any trouble but a handful of walkers."

Daryl let out a sigh as his shoulders rose in tension.

"You and I both know there's worse out there than walkers, and bricks, mortar and iron ain't gonna hold 'em back."

Much worse. Like the people he had most recently encountered. Resolved there was no better time than now, I pulled my sleeping sweater over my head and made my way over to him by the window.

The lamp light shone over his broad shoulders and the muscles on his back, highlighting the pattern of scars that stretched over his skin, and it momentarily distracted me, like a light beam glimmering on a surface might a kitten.

I pressed a kiss to his bare shoulder, and let my lips linger against his skin as I trailed my fingers carefully over the ridges on his back. He stilled under my touch, but he didn't tense as he so often had in the past. I had known about the scars for a long time, and I had known who put them there. But it tugged on my heart just a little harder, to know that he had suffered so long in silence. He had developed such a tough outer shell in an effort to deal with all the pain on his own. He had been alone for so long.

"Austin told me what happened…in the garage…with those men." I murmured into his shoulder.

Daryl turned to me, with a face free from expression.

I put my palms to his cheeks and held his face still, knowing he would more than likely pull away when he realised how much I knew.

"You don't need to say anythin' 'cause I already know how you're feelin'… But if you do wanna talk, I'll listen. If you wanna cry…" I nodded towards my shoulder. "There's a spot here with your name on it. And if you want me to hold you, I won't let you go 'til…"

"Beth." Daryl interrupted me with a surprising softness in his voice. He flashed me an unexpected smile, and dropped warm hands on to my shoulders. "Nothin' happened."

"Nothin'?"

"No. They fucked with my head. But I weren't gonna let 'em fuck with anythin' else…not without puttin' up a decent fight. Never coulda looked at myself again I don't think… I ain't strong like you."

I hadn't even realised how tight I had been holding my body, until I breathed an involuntary sigh of relief. It was silly of me to think anyone could do _that_ to Daryl Dixon. Then the tensions suddenly crept through me again as a realisation dawned on me. It was what I had said to Austin about the weak taking power from others

"Is that why you did it to me? Or mighta done it to me? Were you tryin' to take some of my strength?"

"No!" He declared passionately, while giving my shoulders a firm squeeze. "I was just feelin' real shitty, and I thought bein' with you would make me feel better…but it didn't."

He wasn't the only one in this relationship to think that sex alone could cure what ails you.

"It was silly for me to think that dressin' up and doin' all that stuff with you would make you feel any better."

A playful grin pulled at the corner of his mouth.

"That sure didn't make me feel any worse." He said with a quirk of his brow.

"But the smacking did. That was _really_ stupid."

"Yeah, don't think I'll ever be a fan of S and M." A teasing smile appeared and then left almost instantly as he dropped his eyes from mine. "I know I hurt you too…in the bathroom."

"It's okay. It didn't hurt too much."

He looked back to my face and all humour was gone from his expression.

"It shouldna hurt at all."

He began to run his hands carefully over my shoulders, barely brushing his skin against mine.

"I never wanna hurt you again."

He dipped his head and replaced the gentle touching on my shoulder with a kiss.

"I'm never gonna fuck you again neither."

"What?" I cried, as I stepped away from him feeling a little stunned.

He smirked at me and then pulled me in against his chest and began running his hands up and down my back.

"From now on, I don't fuck. I make love."

I chuckled softly with relief, and began stroking my hands over his bare back using the same motion and pressure as he was using on me.

"Do you think you know how to now?"

I only caught a glimpse of his smile before he moved his lips back to my shoulder, and began trailing light wet kisses to my neck, and upwards. His lips stopped on my ear.

"We can find out."

I shuddered as his hot breath caressed the sensitive spot behind my ear, and I closed my eyes and found myself involuntarily arching my neck to allow him better access.

I heard his breath catch and opened my eyes to see he was staring at my throat. I knew there were still purple marks left behind from when he had pressed his thumbs into me.

"Don't worry about it." I urged him on. "Just keep bein' real gentle like you were."

He hesitated for just a moment before brushing his lips over the column of my throat and continuing to run wet kisses over my neck. His hands moved from my back downwards until they reached my thighs, and then he slipped them under my sweater, and began kneading his fingers into the bare skin of my backside, and then to the curve in my back.

I clutched on to the firm muscles of his shoulders feeling the chill of cold air touch my skin as he lifted my sweater.

I helped him tug it over my head, and drop it to the floor.

I stood before him topless as he ran the back of his fingers over my bare shoulders and arms, down to my wrists, then across my belly and up to my breasts. I shuddered as the tingling sensation his touch left behind, turned my skin to gooseflesh, and my bare nipples drew tight into little stones.

I was hyper aware of his shadowed eyes scanning over my body and taking in every inch of uncovered skin. His eyes halted when they met my gaze and he drew in a raspy and ragged breath.

"I love you, Beth." The words rolled of his tongue and loomed in the air, heavy with intent. I couldn't even smile; I was so overcome with emotion.

His warm and strong hands found a place on my waist, and he guided me towards him so that my aroused nipples dug into the heated flesh below his chest. His lips found mine and his kiss was tentatively careful and lustily forceful all at once.

A soft groan escaped my mouth as I reciprocated, tangling my lips and tongue with his, and tangling my finger into his short locks, so I could pull his mouth against mine.

His lips slipped downward and brushed over my chin as his hands caught me under the backside. With a gentle force, he lifted me upwards so my thighs clung to his hips, and I could feel him growing hard under his jeans and pressing into my sodden underpants.

He slid me upwards, and I gripped on to him tightly, wrapping my legs around his back, and my arms over his broad shoulders, while I pressing my face into his neck. I felt his body swagger and sway, and I turned away from the overwhelming heat and scent of his skin to see we were retreating from the window side and moving towards our bed.

His knee lifted below me and pressed against the place of growing heat between my legs, before he tilted me back and lowered me carefully on to the cool leather of the sofa.

I arched my back and sighed at the sudden chill, and he chuckled lightly at my reaction. He straddled over me and shifted me along the sofa, using one strong arm, until my body was fully supported by the seat of the sofa.

His lips found mine again, but I barely had a chance to flick my tongue against his before he had moved and began trailing wet kisses from my chin, to throat, to collar, to chest, to naval and lower.

His fingers pulled at the band of my underpants and I lifted my hips, allowing him to slip them off and he dropped them to the floor.

His eyes turned up to mine as his head dropped between my legs and I felt the gentle warm push of his tongue against my sweet spot. I groaned, clenched my eyes closed, arched my back and dropped my knees to the side inviting him to continue. His heat left me and was replaced by the cool chill of air as I felt him shifting around against my bare legs.

I opened my eyes to find he was now standing off the sofa and tugging his jeans down. He ducked down for a few moments and I could hear fabric shifting and plastic crinkling and then he re-emerged with a small square package between his teeth.

He tore it open, slipped out the rubber disk, and rolled it down over his engorged shaft. He crawled back over me and lowered himself down so the full length of his body was pressed against mine, and his shaft was pressed between my legs.

He put his forehead to mine, and brushed a finger over my chin.

"This is how I woulda liked our first time to be… if I knew how to do it then." His breath was hot against my lips, and I tilted my chin upwards just a little so our lips could touch.

My hands moved to his back, and I felt the muscles contort as he lifted his hips guiding his end to my opening.

We both groaned as he slid his way through me ─slowly─ allowing my body to adjust to his girth. My fingers found their way in to the ridges on his back and it took all my focus to be as gentle with my touches as he was being with his.

I closed my eyes and let my mind dwell on the multitude of sensations my body was experiencing all at once. His hot breath and soft groans that puffed against my neck. The heat and pressure from his calloused fingers that pressed into my back. The way the muscles of his lower back bulged and flattened under my hands as his hips bucked between my thighs. And the ceaseless pattern of infusion and withdrawal as he built up something hot and tight and fierce within me.

When my peak had been reached I tossed my head back, squealed into the air, and dug into his back, forgetting all about being gentle. I rode the wave of ecstasy as he continued to delve into me, extending the throbbing sensation with every thrust.

"I love you." He muttered again in a voice that was grainy and strained.

"I love you too." I half cried and half moaned, as I wrapped my legs around his waist, and writhed my body against his.

The slow and deliberate onslaught on my body continued on as wave after wave of orgasm clouded my mind, and loosened my body until I was a pile of quivering, witless Jell-O.

He let out his usual groan that told me he had come undone, and filled me with the final thrusts that were rougher than they had been before, as he tugged down firmly on my shoulders.

We lay in a bundle of twisted, sweaty, trembling limbs. Our chests moved in unison as our breaths grew longer and shallower, until there was so little movement between us, you couldn't tell where he ended and I began.

He was so still I thought he might have fallen asleep, until he lifted his head and took my lips in his.

"How'd I do?" He murmured as he pressed his forehead to mine.

"Perfect."

He chuckled and then kissed me again.

"Did it make you feel better that time?" I asked.

"Uh-huh. It was the lovin' not the sex."

"I think I've got somethin' else to make you feel better."

"There ain't nothin' that could make me feel better than I do right now, Greene."

I squirmed around underneath him until he got the hint, and rolled off. Then I rolled to my front and climbed my way off the sofa and to the guitar I always kept close at hand.

"Another song?" Daryl kept his eyes down and on task as he tugged away the condom full of white liquid, tied it up and tossed it to the ground in a carefree manner.

"You sick of my singing yet?"

"No. Never."

I perched in my usual spot on the arm of the sofa and put the body of the guitar to my lap. Daryl crawled forward on his front, wrapped an arm around my hips and put head on the sofa arm beside me, watching me with a restful smile on his lips.

_Oh I wish I was a doctor who could heal your broken heart_   
_Analyse each bruise and hear your story from the start_   
_And stitch up every tiny tear_   
_With a ribbon and a bow_

_Prescribe you some new medicine_   
_That makes you feel less alone_

_No I am not a doctor_   
_Just an ordinary girl_   
_But I know the way your chest aches_   
_The way your head swirls_

_when abandoned beat and broken down_   
_By the one who knew you best_   
_I was sleeping when I cut my veins_

_If I only knew my life was blessed_   
  
_No I am not a doctor_   
_But I've got some extra time_   
_I've got some drugs_   
_I keep in stock called Mary and moonshine_   
  
_We both know that you're not gonna sleep tonight_

_I am not a doctor_   
_But maybe you could let me try_   
_So I put my hand against your head_   
_I recommend that you stay in bed_

_Your temperature is getting pretty high_   
_Well I'll help you get undressed_

_and mess around tonight_

"Beth." His tone had an authoritative finality to it that threw me a little of guard.

"Yeah?" I muttered, wondering if I had said something wrong in my lyrics.

"Why do all your songs gotta be so sexy?"

I chuckled, relieved that it was the sexiness that had caught his attention. I gave my shoulders a gentle shrug in reply.

"Heck." He grabbed the guitar by the neck and placed it on the ground. "Looks like I ain't gonna be sleepin' tonight."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: RE the 'I miss my brother' comment from last chapter. He didn't only miss Rick as a friend and family member, but as a leader. Daryl already expressed he didn't want to lead (remember lord of the flies remark), plus he was shaken up by his run in and felt like he needed back-up. I made the mistake of just assuming you all knew what I meant. I will go back and edit that part to make it more explicit. I also dropped a few more hints in this chapter, and will continue to build on it. I'm not so great on the introspect stuff, so maybe that's why it was missed before...
> 
> The chapters are going to get shorter from here on in, as I'm pretty anxious to get them to 'where they belong'...
> 
> I'm also slowly working on another Bethyl piece. I'm going to try out the whole fluffy, slow burn, teen rated thing. Keep an eye out for it.


	10. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beth and Daryl find out what the date is...and what a date is...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was meant to be in Daryl's POV, but for many reasons, it just didn't work. So there will be three Beth chapters in a row, with the final chapter being in Daryl's POV.
> 
> Song: I'll be there for you – Bon Jovi

 

* * *

The high pitched fanfare shook through my head like a rag doll in a dog's jaws. It was an awful, tinny sound that I hadn't heard in so long, I forgot that it had ever existed. It rang unbearably loud, got louder and then teetered out into nothingness. As soon as the first chime rang Daryl threw his bare back up three feet in the air and bucked and rolled off the sofa and on to his feet, grasping at the ground near his boots for his knife.

"Sorry!" I called from where I was sitting behind the desk, with my hands flailing over the laptop trying to figure out how to turn the volume down.

Daryl rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes, "What the fuck're you doin', Greene?" He groaned, stretched his hands to the ceiling and walked over to me at the desk, buck naked.

"I charged it up the other day; Wanted to see if I could put the pics from your camera on it."

Daryl rested a hand on the back of my chair and rubbed his other hand through the whiskers on his chin, while examining the array of cameras, camera parts and cords laid out among the papers on the desk.

"Why?"

"I was gonna put them back on to another camera, so you could take it with us."

"We're not goin' on some sight-seein' field trip, Greene. The road will be dangerous, I ain't gon' have time to take no pictures."

I shrugged my shoulders and began tapping my fingers on the keyboard, and moving the white arrow cursor around the screen attempting to click on boxes, that seemed to do little but let out a low pitched riff that denied me access.

I huffed and blew at the hair that had escaped my pony and was now dangling in front of my face, then turned to look up at Daryl. "Maybe not on the road, but when we get to Washington you might want to….if we find the others, maybe show 'em what we've been doin' for the past couple of months."

I looked back at the screen and frowned, and continued with my aggressive clicking.

"I didn't even wanna show _you_ , what makes you think I'll show them?"

I was too busy attacking the keyboard with my fingers to respond.

Daryl had said he liked playing with the camera. It was something he had never tried before, and he liked recording his thoughts on it, kind of like I did with my journal. But he also said we had been lucky with the school, it had given us a chance to have a go at living rather than just surviving. He said we shouldn't be fool enough to believe it was always going to be like that.

Daryl dropped his hands on to my shoulders and gave them a squeeze, which felt slightly condescending. "We don't know how it's gonna be in Washington, it might be hell. More hell than it is everywhere else. I don't really wanna take pictures when I'm fightin' for life."

"It might be… Or it might be perfect." I placed my hand on top of his and gave it a squeeze back. "Have some faith."

"Perfect?" He let out an unconvinced scoff. "There's only one thing I've come across in the past few decades that's been perfect."

I felt my cheeks flush with heat and I turned my head so I could press my lips on to his grazed knuckles.

"C'mon, just let me fix you up a camera. You don't have to use it. We'll just bring it. Just in case."

He groaned and shrugged his shoulders, defeated. "Not like I can argue with you."

"Great!" I turned my attention back to the screen. "Now help me figure out this darn password."

"Try his wife's name." He suggested.

I turned over some of the photographs we had placed face down when we had first come to the school. "I don't think he was married."

"His dog? Cat?" Daryl pointed to the photos of the aging principal, cuddling bundles of black fur.

I turned to him and smirked. "Don't think there's anythin' with his pets' name on it…"

Daryl started sifting through some of the papers that were on the desk _._ "Try that weird Latin shit, that'd be a cool password." He pointed to the schools emblem on a letterhead.

"Yeah, but obvious."

"Not everyone wants shit to be complicated."

I shrugged my shoulders and returned to my typing.

_Parans futura._

The white box that I had been attacking with the arrow cursor disappeared.

"You, sir, are a lot more than just a pretty face." I smiled up at him then looked back to the screen. I pointed a finger to the lower right hand corner.

"Do you think this date is right?"

"Maybe. It is spring."

"We never really kept track of the dates after the farm you know...we never celebrated thanksgiving or Christmases or anythin'. Not even my eighteenth." I pouted at the screen, thinking about how we had done little but survive in the past couple of years.

Daryl dropped his arms over my shoulders and pressed his bristling face against my cheek.

"Sorry 'bout that. If I had've known, I would've made a big deal about it…" He turned his face and placed a quick kiss on my cheek. "…and maybe made a move on you a little sooner."

A small smile crept on my lips and then faded away as I thought about how Judith's first birthday was coming up, and how we would most likely miss it, and then about all the other dates we had missed since the turn.

"We missed Valentine's day."

"When is that?"

"February fourteenth." I turned to him and looked at him incredulously. "How could you not know when Valentine's Day is?"

"Never had no valentine. Never even been on a date."

"Not ever?" The incredulous tone remained.

"Not unless you count the back of my truck or Merle's couch a date."

I screwed up my face in disgust. That was more information than I wanted to know. "No. It usually includes dinner, and movies, and dancin' and goodnight kissin' on the porch."

He drew away from me, stood up and crossed his arms defensively over his chest. "I ain't dancin'."

I swung the chair around to face him.

"Why, is dinner and a movie an option?"

He was silent for a moment, fidgeting his hand by his chest.

"Guess not." He said with a shrug and a curiously unusual smile on his lips.

I turned back to the screen to start the transfer.

"C'mon girl." He gave me a gentle tap on the shoulder. "Hurry up with that. I wanna see how you handle that bus 'fore I go out. Got shit I need done today."

* * *

Daryl had mixed feelings about teaching me to drive the bus. Initially he wanted me to learn in-case something happened to him, back when he wasn't feeling himself. Then we had agreed he would take the bike in-case we needed to separate in Washington.

Daryl said he had no intention on either happening, but the benefit of the bike was manoeuvrability and accessibility. It was easier to guard the bus if necessary, and it also meant he could scout on ahead if we came to some kind of road block, which would be likely as we approached the big cities.

I was confident with the steering and gear changing, and seemed to have fairly good control of the path of the bus, after the various lessons over the past week. But I was used to driving the bottom heavy truck back on the farm, and the school bus was top heavy. Driving through the course of cones Daryl had found in the gym storeroom, I could feel the top tipping at every turn.

Daryl figured driving to Washington with no other traffic on the road; we wouldn't encounter any sharp turns anyway, so he gave me a hurried pass, and urged me to back the bus up beside the bike ready to pack it up for the four or more hour trip we had planned for the next day.

Daryl never left the school without being heavily armed and in the company of Mix and Austin. As always Austin was excited to go out with Daryl, and wore his pistol in his holster proudly as he strode out the school doors, down the steps and headed towards the bike.

"Not today, kid." Daryl called over to him as he tapped his hand down on the roof of the Honda.

The smile dropped from Austin's face. "We're goin' in that?"

"Yeah, so c'mon don't got all day." Daryl opened the driver's door, slid in, fought Mix of his lap and pushed him on to the back seat, before reaching over and pushing the passenger door open for Austin.

Austin hesitantly took a step towards the car and then glanced back to the bike mournfully.

"What about the bike?"

"We're goin' deer huntin' need to fit 'em in the back."

I wondered why he would want a deer so close to us leaving. It would be a waste of meat.

Austin started protesting, "But we've taken deer home on the bike before, remember my legs went numb 'cause it was…"

"Just get in the car, kid." Daryl interrupted.

Daryl glanced up at me where I was standing on the steps watching them argue. He was acting kind of suspicious and I wondered what he was up to.

"A'right." Austin trudged through the dirt and grass kicking his joggers. He dropped himself down on to the passenger seat with his eyes lowered and his bottom lip hanging out.

* * *

They didn't return to the school until about an hour after dusk, and I stood by the gate waiting to open it for them while anxiously tapping my foot, and planning out the scolding I would give them.

Daryl parked the car by the bus, emptied it of passengers and gear and made his way over to me sheepishly.

I glanced over his filthy state, the weapons he was holding behind his back, then into the back of the car and then over at Austin. "Where's the deer?"

He shrugged casually. "Couldn't find one."

I stepped towards him and wiped my hand across the brownish gunk on his forehead. "What're you covered in…is that blood?"

Daryl shook his head and took a step back.

"Nah."

I rubbed it between my fingers and brought it to my nose to sniff it. It didn't smell like blood. It smelt kind of synthetic and sweet.

"Is it…paint?"

He reached out and grabbed my hand and pulled it away from my face.

"C'mon, I'm taking you out." He began dragging me back towards the car.

"Out of the school?"

"Uhuh."

"Where're we goin'?"

"On a date."

I gave a little skip and a jump beside him and then stopped suddenly pulling back on his arm. "Wait…what about a sitter?"

"Austin and Marie can handle it. Marie knows how to feed 'em and take care of their boo-boos. Austin knows how to keep 'em safe."

I glanced over to Austin and he gave me a re-assuring nod, and patted the pistol at his hip. I guess they had managed just fine without us before, and this time they would have Mix.

"So C'mon let's get goin'." He tried to tug me along again, but I slipped out of his grip, and darted back towards the door of the school. Typical Daryl, thinking we could just go on a date wearing sweaty slacks and stained shirts

"Where're you goin, Greene?"

"I'm not going on our first date lookin' like this." I cried as I brushed my hand over my tee and jeans.

Daryl looked down at his ripped, torn and stained jeans, and his ragged flannel shirt.

"Guess I gotta make an effort too, huh?"

* * *

Well Gosh and Darn! I had never seen Daryl look so attractive…except maybe when he was buck naked.

He was wearing a clean, untorn pair of jeans that shaped around his muscular thighs in a way that he hated, but I found extremely sexy. He had pulled out one of those black rocker tees that he wore when I was washing his favourite ripped and stained flannels. It clung to the muscles of his chest, and highlighted the broadness of his shoulders.

He had done something with his hair…brushed it maybe…wet it. I ran my fingers through it. Was that gel? Whatever it was, it made him look younger, and like he belonged in some sixties high school, _and_ like the end of the world had never happened.

And the smell. I sniffed along his shoulder and neck, not needing to go to my tip toes as usual thanks to my new shoes. That was definitely cologne.

Dressed up, clean and smelling like something other than sweat, and walker brains, that was something I never in my lifetime thought I would see of Daryl Dixon.

He grinned at the expression on my face, which I assumed looked something like a slapped fish on land.

His eyes swept across my body, from my hair pulled back from my face and clasped at the top of my head, to the strapless floral mini dress, down to the pumps which looked like they would have got the girl who wore them to school expelled.

He tutted to himself and shook his head.

"Girl, I feel like I'm gonna kick m'self for sayin' so…but you're gonna freeze your lil cute ass off, out there in that."

I tossed my hair over my shoulder and switched my hips as I stepped past him and headed towards the front doors of the school.

I winked at him over my shoulder. "You'll keep me warm."

* * *

I was a little disappointed that he insisted we take the Honda and not the bike. I had hardly been on that thing in the months we had been at the school, but the spring night air _was_ quite chilled. I was grateful to be able to jump into the confined space of the car and crank up the heater, rather than have the blistering cold, sting my bare skin, as it whipped past me on the bike.

We drove for about twenty minutes turning down dark and windy streets, which could only be identified where the headlights touched. Daryl took a turn off a gravel road and down a dirt path lined on either side by the tall, dark shadows of pines and oaks. We passed some kind of toll booth, which looked as if it had been abandoned long before the turn. I pressed my face to the cold glass curious about where the heck he was taking me.

We travelled for several yards down the dirt road before Daryl shut of the car lights, plunging our surroundings into the darkness. I could only make out the path of the road by the dim silvery light of the moon.

"What're you doin'." I was anxious about what we might run into out here without being able to see more than a few feet ahead of us.

"You'll see." He said as his eyes narrowed suspiciously and a knowing grin grew on his face.

I could sense a change in the road as the soft sound of dirt under tire gave way to a crunching sound. Daryl pulled the car up in a pre-rehearsed manner, put his hand to the stick on the steering wheel that controlled the lights, and turned his face towards me.

He dipped his head towards the front windscreen. "Look straight ahead."

I did as I was told, and Daryl switched on the high-beams that showered the huge and high rectangular board in front of us with light.

I knew where we were now. I had been to a drive-in once when I was a little girl, but the one near our home shut down a long time ago.

Judging by the derelict state of the parking lot and the lack of speaker poles and candy shop, the screen hadn't been projected on to in a long time, but this screen still held a picture.

It was a grand display of colour; splashed, rolled and sprayed on to the yellow tinged white board. Daryl had used the same techniques to make the picture jump to life, as he had with the angel wings on the gym doors and the painting of his dad that we burned. But this image was something more familiar and recognisable to me than any of those things. It was a huge portrait of a blonde haired, blue eyed beauty, who I almost didn't want to believe was myself.

"Whataya think?"

His voice interrupted my dazed, eye widened, jaw dropped state.

I licked my lips, making sure they were still there and they still worked.

"It's beautiful." I whispered, as something clenched in my chest making the formation of audible words near on impossible.

I could feel tears welling in my eyes and I dashed my wrist across them before a tear could drop.

"It's beautiful." I repeated in a stronger tone. I reached my hand towards his on the steering wheel and gave it a squeeze.

He turned his hand so he could grasp my finger tips and then pulled my hand to his lips and planted a gentle kiss across my knuckles.

"Then it looks the way it's s'posed to."

I pulled my eyes away from the gaze of his intense blue eyes, knowing if I stared any longer I would forget how to talk again, and looked back to the giant portrait.

"So this is what you were doin' all day?"

"Mmm Hmm. If I had more time, I mighta added more detail."

"It's perfect."

"Woulda liked to take you out to a real picture show or somethin', but we gotta make do." His shoulders lifted in a shrug, and my eyes traced the lines of his flexing muscle.

"This is so much better."

Daryl twisted in his seat and reached into the back to rummage through his back pack. He returned to his original position with his hands full of packets and cans and spoons. He dumped everything into his lap and began holding them up for me to examine.

"Entrée." He said as he held up a packet of crackers.

"Main." A can of macaroni and meatballs

"Dessert." A can of chocolate pudding.

He handed me my share of our dinner, and I opened up the biscuits and started nibbling on a corner, just to keep myself distracted from the swirl of emotions that were building inside me. I wasn't even hungry; my tummy was doing too many flip flops to even think about eating.

Daryl popped the lid on the can of meatballs and began digging into them with a spoon, and I watched him with dopey love sick eyes as he shovelled wobbly meatballs and pasta into his mouth.

Shaking myself back to sense, I gestured towards the big screen in front of us. "So tell me about this movie."

Daryl swallowed his mouthful. "Well it's about this beauty. She meets a beast. He had some spell cast on 'im when he was a kid. Told he could never be anythin' but a nobody 'less he found this special girl."

He went silent, dropping his eyes down to his can thoughtfully, and returned to shovelling the meatballs into his mouth.

"And did he meet her?"

Daryl rubbed his arm over his mouth and gave me a nod.

"Yep. She kissed 'im and turned 'im into prince charmin'. Now he goes on dates and wears cologne and shit."

I giggled at him, and returned to nibbling on my crackers in an effort to settle my stomach. I thought back to only a few months ago. I never imagined Daryl showering, let alone wearing cologne.

He emptied his can, rolled down the window and tossed the can out through the gap.

"Got somethin else too."

He rummaged through the glove compartment of the Honda and pulled out three faded and ancient looking compact disc cases.

"Music?" I stopped myself from clapping my hands in excitement like a schoolgirl.

He fanned them out for me.

"I got Guns 'n' roses, Bon Jovi, and Aerosmith."

I couldn't help but furrow a brow at his selection. They were bands that I had only heard about. Other than a bit of Bon Jovi's newer stuff, I didn't think I had even listened to the others. They were even before Maggie's time.

"Aerosmith? Daryl, those bands are so…old." Although not as old as him…

"They were the only ones I knew that did kissy songs."

I tried to stifle another giggle as I thought of Daryl listening to 'kissy songs'.

"Why you laughin?" He dropped the discs down into the centre console and pouted at the steering wheel, shoulders suddenly tensed. "I'm no good at this shit. Knew I shoulda got Taylor Swift."

I leaned over and brushed a kiss against the whiskers on his cheek while I grabbed at a random case in the console.

"They're fine." I looked to the disc case in my hand. "Bon Jovi is perfect."

I opened the cover and slipped it into the player and waited for the music to start. It was a lively blend of country, pop and rock, and I started wishing I had listened to them earlier.

I settled back into my seat and absorbed the tune of the lead guitarist and tried to pick the chords he was playing.

"So what're we s'posed to do on a date anyways?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Just talk, get to know each other."

"We've known each other for two years."

"We don't know _everythin'_ about each other though."

"What else is there to know?"

Turning my body towards him, I placed a hand on the backrest of my seat, and chewed on my lip thoughtfully.

"Well…what's your favourite colour?"

"I dunno...what's yours?"

I didn't have to think about that for too long. It was a colour that made no sense in the world we currently lived in.

"White."

"Why white?"

"'Cause it's so pure and clean. It's like a fresh start for everythin'."

Daryl rubbed his fingers over his chin thoughtfully.

"Ok well I guess my favourite colour is black."

"Why?"

"'Cause it hides all the shit you don't want people seein'."

His other hand was resting on his knee, and I reached over and took it in mine and gave it a squeeze.

"You got more you wanna hide from me?"

He shook his head, smiled at me and returned the squeeze.

"What's your favourite food?" I asked him, changing the subject before we got all emotional and ruined our date.

"Those meatballs were pretty good." He nodded his head towards the window he had just thrown the empty can out of.

"Really? Nothin' that doesn't come from a can?"

Daryl stared ahead for a few moments while he chewed on the side of his fingernail.

"My mom used to make these trail mix cookies. They were always burnt...they tasted like a tobacco chewing cat's hairball. But when she made 'em I knew she was happy…so it made me happy." A peaceful smile grew on his lips while he gazed into nothingness, and I mirrored the look. After a few seconds he turned his gaze back to me. "How 'bout you?"

"My mom made this amazin' peach cobbler." I smiled to myself as I thought about my mom in the kitchen with an apron tied about her waist and the smell of baked cobbler filling every room in the house.

"But I did get kinda sick of peaches." I screwed up my nose. Peaches had been a staple back at the farm, and even these days canned peaches were just about always on the menu. "My real favourite was…"

I chuckled softly to myself, thinking back to a comment Daryl had made once upon a time an age ago.

"What?"

"Frozen yogurt."

He chuckled. "Knew you were a frozen yogurt kinda girl."

The song switched to a slow rock power ballad, and my eyes were drawn to the flashing lights on the display of the player.

"What was your favourite band?"

Daryl shrugged. "I don't really have a favourite. I ain't really listened to no music, just whatever was on the radio. Sometimes a band would come play at the bar. Some o' them were good, most were awful."

His eyes drew into a squint as he looked me over.

"Don't know if she'll ever be in a band, but my favourite singer…Beth Greene."

I smiled at him, and leant into kiss him, and then stopped short as I thought of something better.

"C'mon." I said as I pushed the car door open, and stepped out into the chill of the night.

"Where're we goin'?" He called to me, as he opened his door and stepped out.

I circled around the car and made my way over to him, grabbed both his hands and pulled him in front of the car so we were illuminated by the high lights of the car.

"Dancin'."

Daryl pulled his hands from my grip and took a defensive step backward.

"Told you I ain't dancin'."

"C'mon it's easy. Just put your hands here…" I pulled his hands around my waist and rested them on my lower back. "…And I'll put mine here." I dropped my hands onto his shoulders. "…and we just sway to the rhythm of the music." I began gently swaying from side to side, and with a sigh Daryl gave into my gentle tugs and began to mimic my movement.

"And you might hold me close and whisper sweet things in my ear."

Daryl tightened his grip on my back and drew me into the warmth of his chest. I reached my arms further around his neck and dropped my head onto his shoulder.

His lips brushed against my ear.

"Like what?" he whispered, sending a chill through my body.

"I don't know…You don't have to, just bein' held by you is nice."

I closed my eyes and felt myself drift into a place of warmth and safety as he swayed me slowly back and forth. I could have fallen asleep right there and then in his embrace, forgetting about the cold, and the dangers of the world. Then a low rumbling in his chest startled me back to present. He was singing in a soft raspy barely audible voice, along with the song on the stereo that was humming out of the open doors.

 _I'll be there for you_  
I'd live and I'd die for you  
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you  
Words can't say what love can do  
I'll be there for you

His singing was both the most horrid and beautiful thing I had ever heard in my life. The pitch was all wrong, he couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, but his voice thrummed through my body, causing my hairs to stand on end and my heart to skip multiple beats.

"Daryl Dixon, are you singin'?" I spoke the words into the heated black cotton of his tee.

He suddenly stilled, which made me lift my head and look to his face, drawn in concern.

"We got company." He muttered.

I followed his gaze over my shoulder to see a male walker ambling towards us, in grey tattered clothing that looked as if it had become one with his rotting flesh. His foot looked to be broken, snapped at the ankle, and he dragged it along behind him, making a horrible swishing sound against the loose gravel.

"All that music and singin'." I quipped playfully.

Daryl pulled away from me and turned back towards the car.

"We should go anyway, get back to the kids."

Sighing in frustration, I flipped the bird at the walker for ruining our date, and then went back to the passenger side of the car.

I dropped myself down on the seat and slammed the door behind me. A shudder ran through my body as the warm air hit my icy skin.

Daryl turned down the music and went to turn the ignition. Examining the flex of his bicep as he reached forward, I put my hand on top of his to still him. I wasn't about to let one measly walker ruin our first date.

I twitched my fingers against his. "There's one other thing that sometimes happens on dates."

"What's that?"

"Well this isn't your truck…or Merle's couch…but I think we could figure… _somethin'_ out."

Daryl's lip quirked at the side, and he began rubbing the fingers of his spare hand together. With the quirk turning into a full grin, he turned in his seat to look in the back.

"You wanna do it…in a hatch?"

I tossed my hair about my shoulders, and tucked my fingers under his hand, rubbing my thumb against the side of his little finger.

"Sure why not?"

"It ain't the most romantic place to do it… I don' even think I can move in 'ere."

Grinning, I slipped off my pumps, wriggled my way on to my knees and kicked a leg out to reach over Daryl's thighs. After some head banging and horn tooting I was in position, straddled over him in the driver's seat. The heating and moistening spot between my legs pushed against the firm denim, covering the fly of his jeans.

"You stay still and I'll do the movin'."

Daryl's face pinched together as the smile on his lips fought the frown on his brow.

"Wouldn't you rather wait til we get home?"

I shook my head and began tugging at the hem of his shirt, I had to shift backwards to get my hands under it and my back knocked against the horn again.

"No…I have to do it in a car at least once…it's like a rite of passage, right?"

Daryl drew in a shaky breath, and dropped his eyes to where my hands were tugging on his shirt. "Beth."

He pulled his shirt back down and glared past me towards the front windshield. I followed his line of sight to see the male walker from before throw himself on to the bonnet of the car with a thump. The light from the headlights lit him up making his hollow features glow like a Halloween decoration.

"Maybe I should take care of 'im first?" Daryl nodded to the walker.

"Don't worry about him. It's only one, and he can't get in."

With a defeated sigh, Daryl moved his hands from mine, and I resumed tugging the shirt over his head and tossing it on to the passenger seat.

I leaned forward, tucking my face into his neck, inhaling the scent of his cologne and running my tongue along his hot and salty flesh from the base of his neck up to his ear. My fingers danced along the bare flesh of his belly and I felt Daryl shudder in response beneath me. His hands slipped forward from atop my exposed thighs, across my backside and rested on my lower back.

He tugged me towards him, pressing me into his bare chest. I moved my kisses from his ear to his whiskered cheek and then found my way to his lips.

We both groaned as our lips parted and interlocked and our tongues met with a gentle, shallow flicking.

Daryl's hands crept up my back, up to the tingling flesh on my shoulder blades. I felt him tuck his fingers into the top band of my dress, and he began tugging it down slowly, stopping when the fabric slipped under my breasts.

With his fingers still tucked into the band, he slid them under my arms and across my ribs. His hands left the band, and moving upwards, gently cupped and squeezed my breasts while his mouth continued to work against mine.

He began pressing me backwards and his kisses left my lips and made their way down to my chin, then to the column of my throat as I arched my neck.

As he made his way down the centre of my chest I leaned back further until I hit the horn again causing us both to jump.

Daryl chuckled hot air between my breasts.

"This is the worst idea you've ever had, Greene." He teased playfully, and then tenderly clamped down on one of my nipples with his teeth, while he gently pinched the other between his thumb and forefinger.

I jumped at the sudden sensation, knocking into the horn again, and he chuckled once more. He reached his hand down the side of the driver's chair, and with a flex of his bicep the chair ground, vibrated and slid back a few inches.

Shifting his hands to support my lower back, Daryl continued to move his mouth down my chest until he reached just above my belly button, and I arched my back carefully, allowing him better access, and trying to avoid hitting the horn again.

Daryl's hands slipped from supporting my back downward, to below my bundled up dress, and he began tugging on my underpants.

Leaning on the door for support I brought my leg up and placed it onto his lap, and then with a good deal of manoeuvring, unladylike twisting and horn honking I managed to remove my underpants and toss them on top of his shirt.

We both jumped again when another walker threw its decaying face up against the driver's side window and pressed its rotting teeth into the glass.

"Bad idea." Daryl groaned as he turned his head to the back seat where our bows lay.

I grabbed his head between my hands, turned him to face me, and planted a hot and heavy kiss on his lips

After an initial hesitancy, his kisses met my forcefulness, and his hands pulled against my back firmly, pressing my bare breasts into his chest.

My hands slipped from his cheeks down to his strong shoulders. I trailed my fingers along his chest and over his belly until I got to the buckle of his belt. Without removing my mouth from his, I tugged at his belt until it was loose, and then slipped a hand inside his pants and wrapped it around the rock hard length of him.

I began stroking it slowly and firmly, giving my wrist a little twist as I reached the end. His hands kneaded against my backside, slowly making their way underneath my thighs until they brushed against the moist, hot spot between my legs.

He spread his legs apart a little, which caused my legs to part, and then I could feel his fingers pressing at my opening, brushing over it lightly, spreading the moisture around and teasing me into a state of heightened anticipation.

My hand tugged and pulled firmer and quicker as he continued to tease, until he was groaning and rocking his hips to meet with my movements.

He parted my lips and slipped a finger inside me and I felt myself clench against it as an hot and icy wave washed over me and crashed between my legs.

His lips left mine and he tucked his face into my neck as he gripped me firmly on the backside with one hand, and worked my sensitive parts with his other, pushing his hand firmly against the slick tender flesh, as his finger delved deeper.

When the first orgasm hit me, I threw myself backwards instinctively and hit the horn again, but I was too in the zone to jump or laugh or be concerned about how many more walkers it would draw. I continued to moan up to the vinyl ceiling of the car as my body convulsed and clenched around his finger.

When the pulsing was over, Daryl's hands left me and went to the waist of his jeans. Lifting his hips and me along with it, he began shuffling his jeans down to his thighs.

He held himself at the base, and began rubbing his end against my ready opening. I was about to force myself down on him, when I caught his concerned expression as his eyes scanned the glass behind me.

I turned around to see a group of four walkers shuffling towards us with their arms stretched towards the glaring headlights.

"Make it quick." I breathed as I pushed myself down on top of him, and we both let out a groan as he stretched through my aroused and expectant muscles.

"Fuck…Shit…Greene…Stop!" He called to me while I rocked my hips back and forth over him.

"What?" I gasped, with irritation in my voice, annoyed at him for interrupting my flow of movement.

He began reaching down his leg, patting his hand over his jeans that were bundled around his thighs, while his belt chinked and clanked.

Grabbing hold of his shoulders I tugged him against my body and began gyrating my hips, absorbing the sensation of his full length massaging the inside of me.

"Condom." Daryl gasped as he produced the square package and tore at it with his teeth.

Determined I wasn't going to ruin the climax I was about to experience, I locked my hips down on his and continued with the rolling, tucking and writhing motion.

Daryl slapped his hand against the driver side window that had covered with fog in the last few minutes, as our panting breaths filled the air with moisture and heat. His fingers, that were still holding the unwrapped condom, dragged across the glass leaving clear marks in the fog that reminded me of a scene in a movie I had seen once when I was little, that I had never quite understood.

"Fuuuuck." He groaned, as my body began convulsing and clenching around his length in continuous waves.

I let out a squeal and a long throaty moan as I continued to rock my hips, riding out the waves of pleasure.

I could feel him throbbing inside me. The condom dropped from his fingers, and I knew we were well past the point of using it…not that it mattered anymore anyway.

When both of our convulsions had stopped, I squeezed him firmly against my chest, and stroked my hands along his bare sweat covered back, and waited for our breathing to synchronize and regulate.

"That wasn't so bad was it?" I breathed into his ear.

"That was very bad… You were very bad… I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do with you, girl."

Leaning back, I tossed my hair about my shoulders and fluttered my lashes innocently, and he chuckled while shaking his head slowly from side to side.

"You're fuckin' beautiful, girl."

I felt him stir inside me again, and I chewed my lip, wondering if we could go again so soon.

The sudden realisation that the hatch was shifting from side to side without us moving it, made me re-think it all. I turned my head around to examine the view through the fogged up windows. There was a walker covering every inch of glass, moaning and groaning and clawing at the misty barrier. I had been so caught up in the moment, I hadn't even heard them scratching and thumping against the car.

I sighed dejectedly. "Guess we should get outta here."

Holding myself between the legs, I pulled off of him and rolled back onto the passenger seat, kicking the horn with my foot one last time as I went.

I handed Daryl back his shirt and tugged my dress in both directions returning it to its former state, and then searched on the floor for my underwear.

Daryl tugged his jeans up, pulled his shirt over his head, and then started the car up, and put her into gear. He mowed straight through the cluster of walkers, sending limp bodies up into the air and smearing the windscreen in blood and muck.

* * *

On the remainder of the trip home, I kept my head on his shoulder, and he held my hand firmly in his, only letting go to shift gears.

I sighed to myself, pleased. "Even with the walkers interrupting, that was an amazing date, Mr Dixon."

He grinned and squeezed my hand.

"I think I might even let you kiss me goodnight." I teased.

He quirked a suggestive eyebrow at me. "I'm hopin' for more than that."

It felt like a surreal dream, and I almost didn't want to return to the school and face the reality that we would be on the road in a few short hours and possibly fighting for our lives once again.

But the surreal feeling left and reality set in when we approached the school gates to see they were wide open, and for some odd reason Mix was tied to one of the posts, snapping his jaws and tugging against the rope on his neck as he leapt into the air.

I saw Daryl's shoulders tense as his narrowed eyes scanned the school. It was lit up far more than it usually would be at this time of night, and beside his bike and the school bus, several cars were parked. One of them, a silvery coloured mini-van, looked remarkably similar to the one we had left Georgia in.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I wrote Daryl singing all I cold think of was Norman singing 'Happy birthday Mr President' in Dark Harbor...teehee


	11. New Arrivals

I wanted to believe that the visitors to the school were the others, that we didn't have to leave the safety of the school, that we could all be happy together and live our days out in peace forever, but that that would be too good to be true.

The mini-van looked similar to the one Rick and the others were in, but silver was a popular colour. It could have been anyone. And there were other cars parked there too. It looked as if there would be enough to carry at least twenty people, and the group wasn't that big when we left, although it had been a few months, and I guess anything could have happened in that time.

If it _was_ Rick why would he have tied Mix up? He knew he was a friend. And there was blood staining the fur around Mix's mouth. He had bit someone, so he either didn't know them or didn't trust them. Whoever he had bit hadn't killed him. It could have been someone from the group that Mix didn't know too well…or maybe it was a stranger who had left him for the walkers.

Turning to Daryl in the seat next to me, I could tell by the tension in his jaw, the bulging in his neck, and the rise of his shoulders that he was having the same internal debate I was.

We parked the car outside the gates beside Mix, armed ourselves, and got out the car. As we approached Mixy, his barking and jumping stopped and he began pawing at the dirt, whimpering.

I made to remove the loop of rope from his neck, but Daryl stilled my hand.

"Leave 'im tied up." Daryl urged in a hushed tone, kneeling in the dirt beside the dog.

"Why? He could help us."

"Nah." He shook his head. "He follows his instincts. If there's trouble he'll attack without a plan." Daryl's eyes narrowed as he scanned over the school. "We might not want 'em knowin' anyone else is here."

"You don't think it could be the others?"

"If somethin's too good to be true, then it prob'ly ain't." He tapped at the pistol on his hip, then the rifle slung over his shoulder and then the bow in his hand. "And if they ain't good. I'll take care of 'em."

I put the crossbow to the ground, put my foot in the stirrup and drew back on the string as smoothly and efficiently as I could. I scanned over the cars parked by the bus. I wasn't leaving him to handle that many on his own. "I will too."

Daryl gave me a reluctant nod with his face full of concern. I knew he hated me doing anything but being protected by him. His eyes slowly scanned over my body, and I was reminded of the date attire I was wearing. A mini dress and pumps were not the best clothes to be fighting in.

His eyes rested on my feet. "You best take those off."

I kicked my shoes off into the dirt, and felt the bite of the cool earth on my bare feet.

Daryl removed the pistol and holster from his waist and wrapped it around my waist, fiddled with the straps and buckle so it would sit right and then shifted the pistol sheath into an easy access position at my hip.

"We go in quiet, and we stay quiet 'til we know what's what."

I nodded my head, and swallowed the lump in my throat that continued to grow along with my anxiety. I wasn't only concerned about what might happen to me and Daryl, but what had already happened to the kids. I hoped that all of the lessons in survival he had given them had paid off.

Daryl led the way towards the front door, crouching low as he moved over the grass and up the stairs.

He pressed his back up against the glass door and peered through the boards that covered most of the view. I sidled up beside him, and concentrated on quietening my breathing, and stilling my shaking hands by squeezing the crossbow, while I waited for his next move.

He turned the handle, pushed the door open silently and waved me through, and then gently closed the door behind him.

We could hear voices echoing down the corridor, and Daryl skimmed across the floor to the stairwell, and I followed close on his heels.

"Shit kid, settle y'self." I heard a deep male voice, it wasn't one I recognised.

"Fuck you!" That was without a doubt Austin. I heard a spitting sound, then some scuffling a thud and a muffled yelp.

"Always had a filthy mouth that one." Came another male voice.

They knew him. It must have been the people who had lived here before us. Had they returned to right there wrongs, or to take back what was theirs?

"Take 'im to the library with the others." The first voice instructed.

Daryl glared at me and held up a finger telling me to stay put, and I watched anxiously as he disappeared around the stairs.

After a moment he scuffled back and past me onto the stairs, flicking his hand through the air telling me to follow.

At the top of the stairs he stopped and whispered to me; "I gotta get some stuff. You go on to the library, just observe, don't do nothin' til I get there." He made to turn down the hall towards the faculty offices and then turned back. "Unless you have to."

I nodded, and keeping low, I made my way through the dark corridors towards the upper floor of the library.

* * *

The library was lit up as bright as a June day in Georgia, and I could hear muffled voices coming through the closed glass door. I pressed myself against the door and scanned over the tables and bookshelves of the first level. There didn't appear to be anyone up there so I carefully pulled on the handle and pushed the door forward, slipped through the gap and closed it behind me.

"Shit they've got everything here." A voice came from the lower floor, low and gruff. "They've got cows. Real cows! You should've taken us back here sooner."

Dropping to my belly and crawling along the carpet, dragging the crossbow behind me, I made my way over to the balustrade of glass panels suspended between poles of silver stainless steel. I moved in close to one of the poles and aimed the bow through the four inch gap, between the glass and the steel.

All the kids were sitting in a circle in the middle of the library, surrounded by a group of adults. They all looked rough, like they had been on the road for a long time. They were skin and bone and missing teeth, scars and matted hair. Most of them were men, but there were a few women down there too, but they looked so grizzled and rough, you could barely tell the difference.

The children all looked to be perfectly fine, all huddled together with Austin at the lead of the group on his knees in-front of one of the men who I guessed was the leader of the new arrivals.

They hadn't killed them. Did that mean they were good?

"How'd you get out of there anyway?" The man talking to Austin tilted his head back towards the ground floor corridor.

"Broke them brooms." Austin jutted his chin out defiantly "We're stronger than you thought we were. You made a mistake leavin' us behind."

"Now don't be bitter." The man chuckled and shook his head gently from side to side. "We talked about it and we couldn't take you kids along. It's a dog eat dog world out there, and you lot would've been the first to get eaten. Much better that you died here."

"Well we didn't die. And this is our school, so you need to get the fuck out!"

I jumped a little as I felt a flutter against my skin. Rolling over and bringing the bow up ready to fire, I was relieved to see it was Daryl, kneeling beside me. He had his bandanna wrapped around his neck, his bow on his shoulder, two rifles on his back, a hand-gun in the waist of his jeans, and holding my boots in one hand and an odd looking yellow canister in the other.

He placed the boots down beside me and then pushed his finger to his lips to tell me to be quiet. He nodded his head to the opposite side of the room near the staircase.

"I'll cover the other side" He whispered. "If I give the signal, you shoot anythin' that's standin' over five feet tall."

"What's the signal?" I whispered back, as I began tugging on my boots, grateful that he had left my switch in there.

"You'll know."

Daryl crept across the floor towards the staircase, and I resumed my position on my stomach with the crossbow aimed to the people having the conversation below.

"What happened to your brother anyway?"

"He died. He starved to death and died. And then I had to finish him off."

"Shit. That must've been tough." The man shook his head. It almost looked like he was remorseful. "What about that other little girl, what was her name? Courtney? Caroline?"

"Chloe." Austin said with a sneer. "Dead too! They both died because you selfish fuckers left us."

"I see you still got that filthy mouth." The man said with a chuckle.

I glanced over the opening to Daryl wondering when or if he would give me that signal. He still had his eyes focused on the scene below.

"What're we gonna do with all these kids now?" Called one of the women.

"Fucked if I know…maybe we should wait til the others get here?"

_Others?_

"I've had my time with kids. They're nothin' but noise and mouths to feed." The woman dropped her eyes and looked a little sullen. I wondered if she had lost her own children, and if it had made her as mad as Carol. "I don't want to babysit them, let's deal with them now." The woman replied.

I hoped by 'deal with them' she meant send them to bed. I glanced back up at Daryl. Still no signal.

"Yeah, alright." The man rubbed his chin and began looking over the cluster of children.

"Mary." He called.

"Marie." Marie corrected.

"You always had the prettiest hair. Like copper that glimmered in the sunshine." He chuckled lightly and took a step towards her, she shuffled back a little.

"How old are you now?"

"I'm…ten."

"Ten? Almost a woman."

The man turned back to the group standing behind him, shifting on their feet nervously, while holding their weapons at the ready.

"Kill the rest, but leave her, she might be useful."

Without even waiting for the signal Daryl was supposed to give me, I aimed the bow at the man who was striding towards Austin with his arm extended and holding a handgun. I was about to pull the trigger when I saw an object drop off the side of the staircase, spewing out yellow dust as it fell.

Guessing that was Daryl's signal, I shot the arrow into the man's head, rolled away from the balustrade and then stuck my foot up in the air and into the stirrup of the bow to reload it, while surprised yells and cries rang out from the smoke filled lower level.

I saw Daryl stand and begin firing arrows down into the smoke cloud. I was afraid he might hit one of the children as the view became obscured, but I guessed this was what he meant by not shooting at anything below five feet tall.

By the time I had another arrow ready, Daryl had emptied his quiver. He looked up at me, pointed a finger at me telling me to stay and then tugged his bandanna up over his nose and leapt over the barrier of the staircase, disappearing into the smoke below.

It took all my inner strength to not call and cuss out after him. I had the upper hand having the most visibility, and a silent weapon so they wouldn't know my exact position. I only hoped that Daryl was going to keep himself below the five feet limit he had set.

I managed to fire off another two arrows, and then reload the last one, before there were no more heads floating on top of the yellow cloud. I listened carefully for any sound below, but all I could hear was hushed cussing behind me. I turned just as a dark haired, dark eyed man fell on top of me, wrapping his hands around my throat.

I dropped hold of the crossbow and attempted to reach down to my boot, searching for my knife, But even as skin and bone, his body was heavy, and it restricted my range of movement.

I was struggling for air as he pressed on my throat, my vision was becoming blurry and my head was spinning. This wasn't like when Daryl had a hold of me. This guy wasn't going to snap out of it, he knew what he was doing and he was going to keep at it until I was dead.

I stared into his cold, dark eyes, while I continued to wriggle and stretch grasping at the leather of my boot.

His eyes widened in shock as I finally got a firm hold of my knife, popped it open and slammed it into his neck; dragging the small blade through the flesh to open his throat.

He gasped and choked, spraying droplets of blood all over my face. His head fell onto my shoulder and I felt the warm sticky blood ooze out of his throat and all over my chest. I brought my knee up under his body and pushed it upwards, shifting it to the side and off me.

After some coughing and rubbing at my own throat and a few shakes of my head to regain my senses, I tugged at the long sleeved shirt that was tied around the man's waist, and used it to wipe up some of the blood on my chest. Once I had mopped up as much as I could I decided to tie the shirt around my own waist, thinking it would be more comfortable to fight in than just a strapless mini dress.

I took a moment to reload the bow with the last arrow and then crawled back over to the gap below the glass balustrade. The smoke had settled, and was now just a yellow haze about a foot above the surface of the lower floor. I scanned the bodies in the room. They all looked to be adult strangers, no children, and no Daryl, but they didn't account for all the intruders, so they were still in the school somewhere.

I backed towards the wall near the upper level door, and then peered through the glass, making sure it was clear before I made my way into the dark corridor.

* * *

When I got downstairs into the entry way, I made my way towards the main corridor, where all the yelling and gunshots could be heard. I stopped halfway down the hall and then glanced back at the front entry doors to the school. With all the confusion that was already going on surely Mix could only help and not hinder.

I threw myself into the door and bolted down the steps and to the front gate. I took out my knife and sawed away at the rope around the dog's neck and then raced after him as he darted back into the school snarling and barking and ready to fight.

I stepped through the door and Mix pushed past me, almost knocking me over, and sped down the hallway, all wild fur and claws scratching on the floor. I cautiously made my way after him, checking up the stairs and in the doorways for unexpected surprises before arriving at the main junction. I sidled up to the wall and peered both ways down the hall. There was no sign of Mix, I couldn't tell which way he went, and there was yelling and gunshots coming from both directions.

I tapped my hand against my boot to make sure the knife hadn't slipped too far down, then tucked the shirt behind the gun holster, and made my way down the corridor that led back to the lower floor library.

I jogged down the empty darkened corridors listening to the sounds of my shaky breathing and my footsteps as they echoed off the walls and mingled in with the battle sounds coming from down the hallway. I couldn't hear Daryl's voice, but one of the voices sounded juvenile. In a panic to get to the children, I stepped around the corner carelessly and smacked straight into a heavy figure, with a force that sent me falling back on my behind, and the crossbow tumbling out of my grip and skimming across the floor.

The man looked just as stunned as I was, yet while I fumbled to reach for the arm of the bow, he swung a rusted machete over his head, ready to slam it down. I shot my arms up hoping to defend myself from a fatal injury, and then felt warm chunks, spray all over my palms.

I dropped my hands to see the man now had a mess of raw flesh and blood for a face.

The body crumpled before me, and Austin stepped forward, smoking pistol in hand. He had blood all up his arms, and some splatters over his face, but he looked unharmed.

"All clear back there." He said as he nodded his head behind him towards the glass doors of the library.

I wiped my blood and brain covered hands against the shirt, and reached for the crossbow. "Where are the others?"

"They're safe." He grabbed at a bundle of bloody arrows slotted through his gun holster, and held them out for me to take.

"C'mon." He said with a wave of his hand. "Need to go help Daryl."

I took a second to put the arrows in to the quiver and then followed the twelve year old, who had obviously gotten over his initial shock of killing the living.

* * *

I could hear shrieking, grunting and growling travelling down the corridor to the gym, and then loud echoing footsteps before the winged doors flew open. I readied my bow, and then dropped it and sighed with relief when it was Daryl and Mix who emerged.

Daryl ran straight to me, griped me around the shoulders, and clutched me to his chest. He was covered from head to toe in blood, and so was Mix, but they both looked in good health.

"You okay?" He held me at a distance and looked over me, eyes resting on my chest.

"Yeah I'm fine…this isn't mine." I ran my hand over the dried up blood crusting over my skin.

"Nor is that?" he said tugging at the shit at my waist.

"No. I had to borrow it."

He shook his head, and gave me a wry smile, before turning back to the gym doors.

"All clear that way."

We both jumped as we heard a door slam back down the main hallway, and the four of us made our back through to the main entry hall and saw two bodies duck out through the front door. Daryl and Mix bolted after them and Austin and I took up the rear.

By the time we made it outside, the silver van was skidding through the dirt and making its way out the gates. Daryl stood at the bottom of the brick staircase, following the van with the aim of his gun.

I ran down the stairs and to Daryl's side, and watched the mini-van disappear down the darkened street, before noticing the walkers that were tumbling over each other as they forced their way through the open gates.

Without hesitation Daryl emptied his handgun into the walkers, and then tossed the gun, and grabbed for the rifle and emptied that too. Austin was firing his weapon, Mix was growling and darting up and over the steps, and I managed to fire off three arrows, and empty most of the clip on my gun, before the rotting bodies lay still, strewn across the school's front courtyard, looking like some kind of awful massacre we used to see on the news before we thought the world had gone to hell.

It was only then that I allowed myself to take a full breath, dropping my head down and pressing my hands to my knees to keep my balance.

"Are we...safe?" I gasped.

Daryl stepped away from me and began retrieving the arrows from the walker corpses. "We gotta get outta here."

"Now?"

"Yeah, now. All this noise will only attract more walkers." He pointed down the dark street to the place we had last seen the mini-van "And they'll be back. Said there're more of 'em."

I pushed myself upright. "But it's dark out. Where will we go?"

"Looks like we'll be startin' our road trip early." He handed me the arrows for the crossbow and then stepped past me back towards the school.

"You go get the kids, get 'em on the bus." He said to Austin. Austin nodded and raced back inside.

Daryl looked back to me over his shoulder. "You grab all our shit. I'm gonna make sure there are no more lurkers.

* * *

For the first hour of the trip the kids bounced around in their seats excitedly and chased each other up and down the aisles. I was beginning to think Daryl had the better deal, out there in the cold with only his poncho, but with only Mix to deal with. When my patience had worn away to nothing I snarled back at the kids, that if they kept distracting me I would crash the bus and we would all die and become walkers. After that they curled up with their blankets and dozed off so that all I could hear was an infrequent murmur and snore.

Thankfully, we didn't encounter any other major troubles on the road. When we passed through towns, the odd walker would stray on to the road and was knocked down by the passing bike, or pulverised into mush by the bus. We had to turn around twice and take back streets when the roads became too blocked with rusting car bodies, and the trip began to take longer than expected. After driving for hours in the dark we stopped to refuel, stretch our legs and consider camping on the bus until morning, seeing as Daryl was struggling with the cold, and I was struggling with staying awake. But as we looked over the map trying to figure out the best way to take the remainder of the journey, walkers started stumbling out of the trees surrounding us, and we figured it would be best to move on to the safety of Washington DC as soon as possible.

We knew we were getting closer to the capitol when we passed through towns with buildings that were nearer together, and taller, and the walkers idling down the streets appeared in larger groups.

We came to a road surrounded by trees just as I crested a gently sloping hill. I could make out the vast city sprawling out far off in the distance, glistening white in the dawning sunlight. I marvelled at the view with mixed feelings of relief, anxiety, grief, and exhaustion from the all night trip.

I had been in a dazed kind of state staring at the city, and I shook myself back to sense and turned my attention back to the litter covered road. Daryl's bike was stopped right in the centre of it. I slammed my foot on the brake, and I heard cries from behind me as the children were thrown from their seats. No seatbelts for passengers in a school bus.

The bus was heavier than a car, it was taking too long to stop, and Daryl was directly in its path.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another cliffhanger!
> 
> I kind of feel like this chapter sucked a big one. Don't think I'm the best at writing action scenes.
> 
> I hope to have the finale out within the next 24 hours...


	12. Dearly Departed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is a bit short and repetitive, but still important.
> 
> Make sure you read the author notes at the end ;)

 

I had to be quick; smoke from the M18 would only continue to billow for a few more seconds, and then it would start to settle as it cooled.

Even through the bandanna, the dry smoke burnt my lungs, but I held back my coughs and kept myself as low as possible, trying to keep my head in the few inch gap above the floor that would remain smoke free for a time. The intruders wouldn't know that. They had been dumb enough to leave the gate open, and the lights on, so they probably weren't the best battle strategists.

I pulled out my Busse and dragged myself along the floor, weighed down by all the extra firearms and empty bow I was carrying.

The first boot that stepped near me, got slashed across the Achilles, and when the fucker fell I opened his throat. Two more stepped past me, splitting the clouds of smoke with their waving arms, trying to hit whatever came into contact with the blades in their hands, and they got the same treatment as the first

When the smoke began settling I gave up my low position and leapt on to the back of the nearby woman, and dragged her down while I opened her throat too. Another guy leapt towards me and I made to dodge out of the way, but my jeans were too damn tight to move quick enough, and he caught me around the shoulders.

I was able to swing my Busse up and force the blade under his chin and into his brain, before he could drag me down.

I skimmed my bloody blade lightly across the dumbass jeans I had worn to impress Beth, giving myself better movement, and I wondered how Beth was managing in her non-existent dress. I scanned the bodies I could see among the yellow smoke quickly as I raced to the lower floor door. None of the kids were there, Austin had seen me when I first came into the main corridor, he would have known I had a plan, and hopefully he had got them all out to safety as soon as I had dropped the smoke bomb.

* * *

The hallways were lit like a Halloween fright house, and I could only make out the position of the walls by the light from the rooms that the dumbasses had switched the lights on in. The fools were running around like turkeys in the dark, and I managed to knock a few of them down with the M16, while they fired blindly trying to duck into classrooms for cover.

I was heading to the main entry and stairwell that led to the top floor plant room, where I had told the kids to hide in an emergency. As I rounded the corner a shadow fell above me and a figure leapt of the lower flights of the stairs. I aimed the rifle at it, but paused and then breathed a sigh of relief when I realised it was just Austin.

"Shit kid, I almost killed you." I glanced up the staircase. "Where're the others?"

"In the safe room." The panting Austin replied. He had the Beretta I had given him in his hands ready to fire it.

"Why aren't you with 'em?"

Austin gave the gun in his hand a jerk; "I wanted to help."

"Nah, you let me and Beth handle it."

"You need me."

"I need you to protect the kid, that's the plan."

"Marie knows how to pull a trigger. And you gotta let me kill one of these fuckers…they killed my baby brother."

I nodded reluctantly, knowing if he was anything like me, he would hunt the guys down with my permission or not.

"A'ight kid. Head on back to the library, grab me my arrows while you're there…and stay alert."

Austin scuttled along the floor, making his way down the dark hall back to library. I felt a little guilty that I had sent him back to the place I had already cleared, and taken away his chance at revenge, but as skilled as the kid was, it was my job to keep him safe.

* * *

At the end of the corridor, I caught dark shadows ducking through the wing painted double doors of the gym. They had hit a dead-end going that way, without a key to the outside doors. I had half a mind to barricade the doors and leave them to the same fate they had left the kids, but the last time I had tried to orchestrate poetic justice, it had twisted and come back to bite Beth in the ass.

I lunged to the side of the corridor, throwing my hip into the door of the change-room that connected the main hall to the gym. The entry into the gym from the change room was guarded on both sides by the bleachers, and if I could get below them, they might be able to give me some cover.

I scurried through the darkness of the change-room, out through the door, and ducked under the bleachers without seeing anyone, and seemingly un-detected.

The gym was only lit by moonlight that streamed through the high glass window, and covered the glossy maple with silver squares.

I could see three shadows pushing against the deadlocked outer doors. I dropped to a knee, and stuck the barrel of the assault rifle between the metal benches, and I began firing into the small huddle of bodies, as they yelled and wailed and tried to take cover behind the bed frames and screens I had pushed against the wall months ago.

I watched for the flash of light when they fired blindly into the room, and returned the fire, spraying ammunition towards my targets and filling the room with echoing pops and crackles.

When I heard three different cries that I was sure were death wails, I edged myself forward through the gap between the benches and scanned over the room.

It looked to be clear, so I started dragging myself through, before a bulky, hairy arm grabbed me around the waist, and flung me through the opening so I fell face first onto the hard floor, my rifle skimming out of reach.

I rolled to my back just as the body leapt through the air and landed on top of me.

I caught a fist in the chin, and then threw fists back into his temple, jaw and nose while he shook me back and forth, hands gripped on my shirt, slamming my head into the ground. The guy had the upper hand, pinning me down with his weight so I couldn't use the momentum of my body to add power to my hits, and my guts grew tight as my head started to pound and spin, and I feared I wouldn't get out of this one alive.

To add to my troubles, a figure kicked through the gym doors, and by the size of the shadow I could tell it wasn't Austin or Beth.

He called out to the man on top of me to roll away so he could open fire, and my attacker did as instructed, but before a shot could be fired, a ball of silvery fur shot through the opening behind the guy in the doorway.

A growling Mix dealt with the shrieking man, shaking his head about to tear through the flesh of his shoulder and then snapping his jaws at his throat opening it up and emptying it on to the floor.

While Mix finished him off, I grabbed for the assault rifle I had lost, knocked the butt into the face of my attacker, straddled over the dazed looking man, and shot a few rounds straight in to his face, leaving him looking like his head had been through a mincer.

Before leaving the gym, I checked behind the beds to make sure everyone was down, even though I knew it would only be temporary.

I collected the only handgun with ammo in it, and made my way back to the doors, throwing myself into them in a hurry, anxious to find out what happened with Beth and Austin. I didn't have to go far as they were right there I the corridor as I fell through the door.

After taking a moment to check they were okay, I raced back out the front to catch the last two intruders making for the mini-van. I opened fire, but the rounds only clanged against steel as the men jumped in, started up the engine and drove off through the gates.

* * *

We had to leave that night. We had been lucky that I had got the firearms and weapons from O' Reilly and his crew, otherwise we never would have survived that confrontation. Now without enough man power, and with considerably less ammunition, we wouldn't be able to live through another assault.

I led the way through the dark night, the cold air stinging my eyes and bare hands. All I had for warmth was the poncho and the body heat of the dog between my legs.

We stopped once on the way, to refuel and check we were on the right path after all the back roads we had been taking.

Beth's eyes were dark with exhaustion and we considered camping on the bus until morning, but had to make a move when walkers started crawling from the woods making their way towards the bus.

We came to the crest of a gently sloping hill just as day was breaking. And I could make out our destination far off in the distance, and the sight of the city gave me a feeling of relief, but the sight of what surrounded the city made me hit the brakes, sending the bike into a side sliding stop, which almost knocked both Mix and I off.

There were walkers covering every inch of road, swarming in all directions, across the side banks and off into the distance to no end. It was like the herd we had seen on the way to the vet college many months ago, but somehow even larger.

The screeching sound behind me made me turn in my seat to see the school bus fishtailing along the road. It skimmed past, missing me by inches, and drove head on towards the herd.

The front end of the bus started tipping to the side, and then the tire slipped into the ditch, which tossed it on to its side and sent it into a barrel roll.

The bus tumbled across the road as if it were a weed blowing in the desert; the crunching, squealing and clanking sound slowing before the bus came to a stop, upside down, and right among a huddle of walkers.

I had been holding my breath as I watched the scene play out before me. My body ran cold with adrenaline. I couldn't take the time to think out a plan of rescue. I accelerated straight into the crowd after the bus.

I weaved through the bodies of stumbling walkers and stopped only a few yards from the upturned bus. Walkers who were pinned below the bus, kicked and scratched at the dirt as they tried to free themselves. More walkers were clamouring over the front of the bus, like a swarm of ants on a dirt mound.

I kicked out the stand, and spun myself off the bike, knocking Mix off with my leg, causing me to stumble as I landed. I scrambled back to my feet, clawing against the rubble on the road in an effort to regain my footing.

I sprinted along the side of the bus trying to look in the windows to see who was moving. I couldn't see anything through the smears of blood.

The only person who had been wearing a seatbelt was Beth.

Ignoring the churning in my guts, I made my way to the back of the bus, flipped the latch on the emergency door, threw it open, and was faced with the sight I had feared.

Marie's limp body was strewn across the ceiling of the bus. Her arms were twisted in impossible angles; her usually ginger hair was soaked through with blood. Her empty hazel eyes stared up at me.

I tore my eyes away from the sight to see Beth stumbling across the ceiling of the bus, covered in small cuts, but otherwise unharmed. She was holding the Stryker in one of her hands, and lifting and turning the still bodies of the kids in her other. Her mouth was open in a wide 'O', and her shoulders were heaving as if she was screaming, but I couldn't hear any sound.

"Beth!" I yelled to her, breaking through the ringing in my ears.

"They're dead!" She was shrieking over and over again.

"C'mere!" I called waving her towards me. Behind her I could see walkers had begun dragging themselves through the broken entry door of the bus, leaving a trail of skin, muscle and entrails in their wake.

She continued to shriek, ignoring my pleas, so I climbed through the door opening and made my way around the tiny bodies.

As I wrapped a hand around Beth's arm, her body seized and she retched onto the ceiling, spraying lumps of yellow vomit everywhere. I didn't want to know what had made her sick, I could imagine, and that was enough. I focused all attention on her and dragging her back towards the door.

Once back on the ground outside I gripped her by the shoulders and shook her firmly.

"There's nothin' we can do." I all but screamed into her face. "We gotta get outta 'ere!"

She continued to sob, but she allowed me to tug her back towards the bike.

Four walkers barred our path and I pulled out the Beretta from my holster and shot them down clearing the way. I pushed Beth towards the pillion and I jumped back in the seat and kicked the bike back to life.

Beth climbed on behind me and squeezed her knees into my back, and wrapped her free arm around my waist.

"C'mon boy!" I called down to Mix.

He just looked at me blankly.

"C'mon!" I called again with a voice tight in panic. The herd was closing around us; we only had a few seconds to get clear.

Mix turned and darted off through the hoard of moaning bodies, which lunged at him as he shot past.

"Fuck!"

I couldn't chase a dog. He had been a faithful companion, but he wasn't worth our lives.

I applied the throttle and rode through the path that was blocked with the least amount of walkers, weaving through the herd for a few dozen yards before we were surrounded by a thick wall of dead in all directions. I stopped the bike, put my feet to the ground, turned in my seat and called to Beth, over the roar of groans louder than the motor, to drop the bow and grab a gun.

She let go of my waist, slung the Stryker over the saddle bag and began fumbling around in it. She produced a handgun and I unhooked my Airborne from the handlebars, and started nocking, drawing and releasing into the herd, as she fired off shots.

At the same time she called she was empty, I had also run out of arrows.

"Just hold on!" I called to her, and she dropped the gun and wrapped her arms back around my waist. I took out the Beretta and counted down in my head as I fired into the crowd.

_six…_

I turned and aimed at the walkers that were clawing at the handlebars.

_Five, four…_

I turned around again and took out the one who had grabbed at Beth's ankle.

_Three…_

I swung back to shoot the one that was only a few feet away from grabbing onto the saddlebag..

_Two…_

_One shot left._

I took out my Busse with my other hand and slammed it into the skull of a walker who had lunged forward and just missed attaching its jaws to my knee then swung the knife back and plunged it into the eye of a walker that was gripping at the suspension.

There were too many, they were too close.

I twisted around in my seat and wrapped an arm around Beth's back and pulled her down into my lap. Her face pressed between my legs and I could feel her hot breath and wet tears against my thigh as she screamed and sobbed. I ran my knife hand through her hair, catching my fingers under her pony tail, and smearing a trail of brown from the knife through the pale yellow gold. I held her head still as I pressed the muzzle of the Beretta into the back of her skull and swallowed a finalizing breath of muggy, rot filled air.

The herd would tear off her skin and rip her limb from limb. They would leave her as nothing but a pile of wet and gnawed bones. She would die an agonizing death. This was the only logical choice.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

The gunshot cracked and echoed, over the sound of a thousand hungry walkers, like heavy thunder clouds crashing together in the sky.

The End…

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Of part Three!

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: What a cliff-hanger! Can you imagine if in the show they left as waiting for seven months after an ending like that? I think I would actually start a riot. Luckily you guys don't have to wait seven months…but it may be a few weeks. I am an evil sadistic bitch :)
> 
> Synopsis for Part IV: Here and Home
> 
> "Beth and Daryl find themselves on the other side of Washington DC, but after meeting the maniacal leader of the society they have settled into, they begin to wonder if they are on the right side. They are about to discover just how big the distance is between here and home."
> 
> This part will use locations and characters from the comic book, but a mostly original storyline.


End file.
